Indiana point guard Yogi Ferrell is a talented kid, but you can’t know how truly talented he is until you’ve heard him rap about wanting to go to Duke, but how he won’t because his cousin goes there, when he was 13 years old. Yep, Yogi recorded a rap song back in the sixth grade, when he was merely a Boo-Boo, and it is adorable.

A quick explanation, courtesy of YouTube user Channing Mitzell:

So I just found my computer from 6th grade and this video (from seven years ago) was on my hard drive. I have no idea how or why this was on here but I thought I’d share haha. If I remember correctly, back in 6th grade at Park Tudor we had a business fair (in Mr Weymuth’s class) where every student had to sell a product…this was his product haha. In case someone cares, this was posted with yogi’s permission

Here’s the song, if you’re interested in buying Yogi’s product:

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So far, our sports-related Christmas updates have been pretty weird. We’ve featured pro wrestlers (both foreign and domestic) singing Christmas carols, the NBA inspiring hate for their CGI ‘Carol Of The Bells’ commercial and the Boston Red Sox trying to sell season tickets with rehashed Christmas Vacation jokes. And now, because the quest to be the weirdest Christmas update of the year keeps escalating, here’s a Fort Wayne, Indiana, family paying homage to a game-winning 3-pointer in synched-up Christmas lights.

Via Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger:

Yes, that’s Christian Watford’s 3-pointer to beat Kentucky at the buzzer last December in Christmas lights form. It starts with the Indiana fight song, it goes quiet for a couple of seconds and then it leads right into the radio play-by-play of the shot that signaled the Hoosiers’ return to national relevancy.

That’s a pretty original way of supporting your favorite basketball team, no? A-plus for the idea, B-plus for the execution.

Here’s the video, which you will enjoy, assuming you are not these peoples’ neighbors. If you are these peoples’ neighbors, here’s a great website where you can buy shovels, which, when ordered, may be used to bludgeon these people into unconsciousness.

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During this year’s Summer Olympics, NBC’s best play-by-play analyst was Retta, who plays Donna on ‘Parks And Recreation’. Her tweets about chocolate tumblers and the Olympics trying to break a bitch were amazing, and as sports bloggers it’s our duty to shine the spotlight on every legitimately hilarious person who touches sports.

Not only is Retta’s show one of the best on television right now, it’s also one of the most sports friendly. That makes it a perfect fit for Sports On TV, our column dedicated to the best sports moments of shows about something other than sports. This is the first still-on-the-air show we’ve attempted to cover, so if you’re reading this a year from now and are all, “HEY, WHERE’S THE EPISODE WHERE MCKAYLA MARONEY SHOWS UP AND ANDY WINS THE LONG JUMP” or whatever, give us a break, we aren’t time travelers.

With greatest possible love to Retta, Michael Shur, Greg Daniels and the rest of the talented people making my favorite 30 minutes of any given week, here are our 20 favorite sports moments from ‘Parks And Recreation’. I don’t know what this is, but I want you to read all of it.

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Welcome back, everyone. I hope you enjoyed last night’s first installment of the NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 and our Dummy’s Guide to sounding somewhat intelligent in the company of people who watch more college basketball than you. I went 2-for-4 with my picks from last night, as Syracuse and Florida won their games and Cincinnati and Michigan State really took massive horse dumps in their respective matchups. But I also technically rode the fence on each game enough that I can say I was 4-for-4.

What can I say, I’m an expert.

We’re back at it tonight, and I know it’s a Friday and all, but I’ll still be live chatting the action up from the handy dandy portable intelligent telephone. I’ll be at the Orlando Magic game, per the usual, which will make it all more fun. Make your predictions, quips and witticisms in the comments and there will be free t-shirts and possibly other surprises to be given out.

Admit it, you’re excited.

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Pretend you’re a writer. It’s easy, I do it everyday. Writing is your dream. Imagine that you’ve worked on your writing your entire life, and just before you’ve gotten that big break, someone swoops in and snatches it out from under you. That would be painful, right? But hey, there are a lot of writers in the world, so it’s tough to make it. Now imagine that you do the most specific thing in the f**king universe. Imagine that you’re a sculptor who has spent four years sculpting a big ass Larry Bird to put in front of the Hulman Center in Terre Haute, Indiana. You’ve worked tirelessly for nearly half a decade to raise money and get every wispy bristle of that Larry Bird college mustache just right. Chances are you are the only person in Terre Haute sculpting a big Larry Bird to stand outside of the arena.

Only, you aren’t.

You find out somebody is donating all the money you’ll need to reach your dreams, with one stipulation: you can’t be a part of it. The want their own guy to sculpt the statue. And they tell you by E-MAIL. God, could you imagine? You picked the most random dream of all time and somebody STILL one-upped you. How could that feel? Well, ask Vigo County sculptor Bill Wolfe.

“It knocked me for a loop,” Wolfe said Wednesday. “I thought, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’ It was devastating after all the years working on this.”

C’mon Bill, you live in Vigo County, you should’ve stuck to painting Carpathians. Be sure to read the full article at TribStar.com, especially for the awful, gutwrenching e-mail.

“In closing, I want you to know that I appreciate you meeting with me and discussing this project. I appreciate you letting me borrow your replica statue to help promote the idea of Larry Legend Foundation. I also appreciate the fact that you know this project is long overdue, and at the end of the day ‘money talks,’ and we have now reached our goal of getting a statue for Larry on campus,” the email states.

All it needs is a “see ya, suckerrrrr” at the bottom. Thankfully Wolfe is already an accomplished sculptor with statues all around town, so he’s sure to bounce back. I hear he’s working on a statue of Magic Johnson right now, but can’t get the proper financial aids.

Some Indiana University students recently produced an anything-but-modest rap song to promote school spirit for the current NCAA basketball season, and I’ll give it an A for effort, but other than that… hooray, more white kids rapping. Call me a hater or whathaveyou, but I think we’ve about exhausted the college rap song genre. It’s just getting old, but college sports reggaeton… that’s the future!

Look, I’m not trying to come off as the crotchety old white man here, but if I hear one more college team remix of Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow”, I’m going to throw out my autographed Snow poster and start listening to country music. Seriously, did you hear Tom Hanks’ son’s version for Northwestern? It’s not fun anymore, if it ever was at all. And I’m not trying to pick on Indiana here – congrats, you have an awesome history – but my school has a rap song, too, so I’ve suffered enough.

Video after the jump…

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