On Monday, we told you how Hank Williams Jr. was dealing with being fired from ESPN due to a violation of Godwin’s Law by writing a song that throws ESPN and ‘Fox & Friends’ under the bus, and if you took “he’s going to read bumper sticker slogans over one of his old song” in your office’s Hank Williams Jr. Pool, collect your winnings; the new version of “Keep The Change” has been released on HankJr.com, and it comes pretty close to being the “The Times They Are a-Changin’” of this generation.

In addition to using the phrase “Don’t Tread On Me” with zero irony or self-awareness, the song calls out ‘Fox & Friends’ for their “gotcha journalism” (because filming somebody saying something stupid is an underhanded tactic of the liberal media) and sorta indirectly suggests that the only way to keep your family safe is to own a bunch of guns and never watch ‘SportsCenter’. “Yeah, you can keep FOX and Friends and ESPN outta your homes, too” the song announces. “‘Cuz Bocephus and all his rowdy friends and his song is outta there!” I think at one point he stops saying words and just yells “derp” into the microphone, but that might be my brain shutting down.

And about those odds I presented at the end of Monday’s story, he checks off every single one of them before the end of the first verse:

I’ll keep my freedom
I’ll keep my guns
Try to keep my money
And my religion too

ESPN’s Jonathan Coachman should record a left-wing parody of “Who Shot Ya” as a response. I’m willing to write it for him and everything. “Niggas know/the lyrical molesting is taking place/f**kin’ with ESPN/it ain’t safe”.

Here is a quick recap of Are You Ready For Some-gate:

1. ESPN pulls Hank Williams Jr.’s “Are You Ready For Some Football?” theme from their Monday Night Football broadcast following the country singer’s appearance on “Fox & Friends”, wherein he suggested President Barack Obama playing golf with House Speaker John Boehner was “like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.”
2. Bocephus apologizes, saying the comments were dumb.
3. ESPN decides to part ways with Williams, because “football” is the reason people watch Monday Night Football.
4. Bocephus suddenly starts backing his comments again, saying he quit to support Freedom Of Speech, or something.
5. ESPN just gets Barry Sanders to do the Monday Night Football intro, because football is the only important part of Monday Night Football.

So, knowing what you know about professional football and Hank Williams Jr., what should be number 6? If you guessed “Bocephus records a ‘Fox & Friends’ diss track about ‘gotcha journalism’ because Fox & Friends ‘got’ him comparing the black President to Hitler”, you’re correct! Give yourself a prize, which should be “never listening to this song”.

Williams wrote the topical third verse of “I’ll Keep My …” when he woke up Friday morning and he and a group of players laid it down in a Nashville studio by Friday afternoon. It could be on iTunes late Monday or early Tuesday.

In the song Williams, son of country music icon Hank Williams, says “Fox & Friends” hosts twisted his words: “So Fox ‘n Friends wanna put me down/Ask for my opinion/Twist it all around.” He finishes the verse: “Well two can play that gotcha game you’ll see.”

And the best part, in case you thought this might turn out well for him:

Early in the song, he says the U.S. is “going down the drain” and says it’s becoming “The United Socialist States of America.” He mentions keeping “Fox & Friends” and ESPN out of your home toward the end of the song.

The ellipses after “I’ll Keep My …” really set the chorus up for a knockout blow, and I can’t wait to hear it. I bet he thinks we think he’ll say “mouth shut”, but he won’t! Here are some odds on how that sentence ends:

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