And I say HEY! What a wonderful time of day! Where you can learn to work and play, and read the first Sports On TV of 2013: the 20 greatest sports moments from PBS Kids’ ‘Arthur.’

‘Arthur’ is about the mostly-educational adventures of Arthur Read, an 8-year old aardvark who … well, learns to work and play and get along with the people in his hometown of Elwood City. Arthur started as a series of children’s books by author and illustrator Marc Brown, and eventually became a cartoon so popular it has over 1.1 million likes on Facebook and is the longest-running children’s animated series in the U.S., second behind only ‘The Simpsons’ as the longest-running animated series in the U.S. period. It’s also full of sports, and sometimes I like to write things on my comedy sports blog that my girlfriend will enjoy.

If you don’t already love ‘Arthur’ and have no interest in flipping through this list, listen to the opening theme, included below. If you can listen to the entire thing and not sing it for the rest of the day, I’ll let you off the hook.

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This week on Sports On TV, we tackle the horror/comedy/drama/everything else of ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer,’ the 1997-2003 hit that catapulted Avengers director Joss Whedon into public consciousness, gave Sarah Michelle Gellar seven more years of television success and adapted a semi-forgotten Kristy Swanson movie into a layered, sometimes absurd and always worth-talking-about cult classic.

And yeah, believe it or not, Buffy had more than 20 great sports moments. I was originally going to supplement the list with a few ‘Angel’ moments (personalized hockey jerseys for babies!), but I revisited the show, re-watched several of my favorite episodes and found so many things to talk about I could barely fit it into a part 1.

If you’re a fan of vampires, good television or magical axes that give teens the power to kick through somebody’s chest, you’ll love this week’s column. Please click through to enjoy my picks for ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s’ 20 greatest sports moments.

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This week’s Sports On TV covers another show people have been requesting since the column’s inception: ‘Boy Meets World,’ the long-running TGIF staple that asked, “if Fred Savage can have a successful television show, shouldn’t his little brother have one as well?”

‘Boy Meets World’ ran for seven seasons from 1993 to 2000 on ABC, and now’s a better time than ever to look back on the show’s 158 episodes. Why? Take it away, Wikipedia!

Links

Christmas Commercials from the 1950s and ’60s Are the Best - … but none of them are as good as that McDonald’s one. And the McDonald’s one isn’t as good as Peter returning home for Folgers. [Warming Glow]

Television’s Biggest Douchebags in 2011 - I’m not sure Glenn Beck qualifies as a “douchebag” so much as he does for “person who should not be allowed to say things on TV and influence people because he’s basically a televangelist and is making things way worse”. [Warming Glow]

The Prometheus Trailer Is Finally Here - I really hope this movie ends with Catwoman kicking Michael Fassbender in the nuts. [Film Drunk]

The KSK Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag: Aaron rodgers Is Going To Screw Us, Isn’t He - Probably. Tim Tebow isn’t going to screw us, though, he’s going to be a nice person forever. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Hollywood’s Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just A Little More “Chosen” Than Others - Yes, Alison Brie and Kat Dennings are amazing, but holy sh*t this article title. If I wrote “hollywood’s hottest jews” on something and published it I’d probably hang myself. [Pajiba]

5 Design Problems Video Games Really Need to Fix - Is “that frost dragon grabbing me with his mouth and shaking me around until I’ve died” a design problem? Because somebody needs to fix that one, too. [Gamma Squad]

5 Features That Will Make Me Buy The iPad 3 - One feature that will make me buy the iPad 3: my girlfriend’s angry face. [Smoking Section]

The 30 Craziest Facebook Stories Of 2011 - Also known as “cool story bro 2011″. None of these stories are as interesting as that picture I took with J. Worthington “Honest John” Foulfellow at Disneyland. [Buzzfeed]

MMA Gif Party: The Best Gifs Of 2011 - I can’t decide whether this list makes me like MMA more or less. Probably more. [Cage Potato]

The Most Awesome, And The Most Awesomely Bad, Metal Album Covers Of The Year - I can’t believe people still make metal albums. [FARK]

The Seven Best Steven Spielberg Movies - In order: Raiders, Empire of the Sun, Jaws, Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, E.T., Always. Ha, just kidding on the last one. [Unreality]

You might be asking yourself why I’m writing a blog post about former Olympic ice skater Nancy Kerrigan. “Why?” you might ask. “Why? Why?” Well, since you asked that many times, I’ll tell you. Nancy Kerrigan is every bit as important to 90s popular culture as Kurt Cobain or Nickelodeon Gak, so when she’s in a car accident it should be considered news. I mean, I guess it shouldn’t, but it’s pretty funny to think that Kerrigan is the protagonist in her own Final Destination and has been barely avoiding death for the last twenty years.

Via NBC Sports:

Kerrigan’s tire flew off of her Chevy Tahoe, and that tire nearly went through the windshield of a passing minivan. The driver of the other vehicle says she was bracing herself for the impact of that tire when Kerrigan’s vehicle hit the front of her minivan. Apparently Kerrigan’s tire had just been repaired before it flew off, forcing her car to swerve.

“We just had an accident. It’s a little shaken up…I’m glad everybody and the kids are okay. It’s scary…it’s a scary thing,” said Kerrigan.

Tonya Harding was supposed to be in that accident, but ended up sitting in a parked car in her driveway all day, crying about how her shoelaces won’t tie. In a less funny joke, Kerrigan was in the Wakefield Mass area to visit the trial of her brother Mark, who is facing manslaughter charges. I hope the court finds out he’s just Shawn Eckhardt in a fright wig.

Thanks to John for the tip on this: An ice skating bear in Russia (not pictured) killed one of its trainers and wounded another during a circus rehearsal in Kyrgyzstan. This is why it kicks ass to be a bear. When you reach middle age as a human, all you can do is buy a more expensive car. But if you’re a bear, you can eat people!

Workers had to drag the bear away during the attack, according to the director of the arena, Kurmangazy Isanayev.

The exits were closed off as staff waited for the emergency services.

Police shot the bear dead at the scene. –Fox News.

Sky News reports that over 3,000 animals work in Russian circuses. Leave it to a former communist regime to eradicate animal unemployment within 20 years. If they ever teach those bears how to shoot guns, the fall of the Western world will be eminent. Let’s hope they learn how to roll joints and illegally download music first.