According to the Sword Swallowers Association – which I swear is safe for work – Ian Brown is a relative newcomer to the world of sticking dangerous blades into one’s esophagus, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not trying to figuratively carve his niche. Brown only recently decided that he wanted to partially ingest weaponry, yet he already holds the United Kingdom’s record for Most Curved Swords Swallowed at Once with a whopping two. And now, as if to tell the world that he is the king of curved swords, Brown has laid claim to the world record for longest sword swallow, as he held two blades in his throat for 13 seconds. Eat your heart out, Sasha Grey.
The attempt actually broke Brown’s previous record of 8 seconds, and while you’d think that a guy would get all Little Junior Brown for having that much metal in his mouth for that long, this Brown says it ain’t no thang but a METAL POINT TOUCHING HIS DIGESTIVE TRACK.