Dan Gilbert Is Angrily Typing In Comic Sans About The Guy Who Hospitalized His Dog

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.12.12

Moondog Cleveland Cavaliers mascot injured

In extremely important sports news to me, Cleveland.com is reporting that Cavaliers mascot “Moondog” was taken to the hospital after a good natured game of pre-game man-to-dog roughhousing got out of control and nearly cost him an eye. The injury came courtesy of Indiana Pacers forward David West, so of course when I read “Cavs mascot sent to hospital by West” my first thought was that Delonte West had rolled back into the 216 on his tri-ped superbike, tore open whatever flower box he’s using to conceal his machine guns and shot the poor dog to death.

Anyway:

The club did not update his status for Sunday’s game against Orlando. It’s unclear whether the Cavs, already without Kyrie Irving and Anderson Varejao among others, will need to promote a mascot from the NBA Development League.

“He jumped at me so I thought we were playing around and then the next thing I know he went down,” West told reporters after the game. “It was definitely an accident.”

Moondog was spotted running through the hall, his dog head removed, clutching a towel to his eye. The mascot occasionally has fun sparring with opposing players before the game or during a timeout. Moondog and West exchanged some playful punches and apparently one caught him hard enough to do damage.

Also of note is the adorable follow-up, with West feeling increasingly guilty as he’s asked about it and asking people to “make sure he knows [he's] sorry”. I wouldn’t know how to feel if I encountered an anthropomorphic basketball playing dogman and accidentally blinded him. Pretty sure Dave just violated the Prime Directive.

In a related story, Jeff Pendergraph took a wrong turn in his van and manslaughtered Lake County Captains mascot Skipper.

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Man, Dog Vie For Ultimate Eating Title

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.13.10

man dog

If I were in charge of programming for a major network and someone came to me with two pitches and said, “OK, we’ve got a show featuring Jeff Dunham and his puppets or we have a dude challenging his dog to an eating contest”, you’d think the choice would be pretty simple, right? Unfortunately, while so much crap gets the green light on TV these days, the real treasures remain on YouTube. I don’t have much more to set this clip up with other than – A dude challenges his dog to an eating contest.

Epic immortal showdown after the jump.

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Bestest In Show: Dog Owners Get More Weird

Written by JOSH Z / 04.19.10

dog show crazy sausage 600

This is one of the dogs from Intergroom, which I’m guessing is some kind of dog show mashed up with epilepsy research. I didn’t really read the article, but I guess it’s just one of those other weird dog shows. Or “more weird,” since dressing up a dog and showing it off doesn’t really strike me as normal in any context. This is probably something I would do if my genitals ever fell off of my body and irretrievably fell through a sewer grate. You know, if that ever happened. More crazy dogs after the jump.
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NOT DRAFTED LAST NIGHT: THIS DOG

Written by JOSH Z / 06.26.09

NESW Sports found this video of Zeke, whose raw skills didn’t seem to have enough polish for the pro game. He has good hand speed and can finish above the rim, but he lacks mobility and seems a bit turnover-prone. One can only hope that Zeke finds his way into a team’s training camp and impresses the coaching staff enough to lock down a short year deal. I’d hate to see this dog have to waste a year of his career in Europe. Or worse, Ohio State.

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MAN TEACHES DOG KICKBOXING

Written by Matt / 04.03.07

Russ Williams, a former champion kickboxer living in Wales, has taught his dog, a black Russian terrier named Ringo Tsar, the same martial art.  Yes, seriously.

"If there was a British Thai boxing championship for dogs then Ringo would win paws-down every time," he said. "There are a few humans he could beat as well."…

And those humans are babies, quadriplegics, and coma patients. 

"He can jump and kick to command with his two front feet at a punch bag or kick pad.

"It seems much better to teach a guard dog to do this than to bite."

Yes, because who's afraid of getting bitten by a dog?  What's that?  Well, I mean besides everyone.  You just think you're so smart, don't you?  Go invent something if you have all the answers.  Or help me find my pants.  I got arrested the last time I went out like this.

(Thanks to longtime reader David, who could looks just like Michelangelo's David except his junk is huge. That's what I heard, anyway.)

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