Owl-Kicking Soccer Player To Get His

Written by Ashley Burns / 03.01.11

On Sunday, as the Junior Barranquilla soccer team was defeating Pereira 2-1 in the fourth game of the Liga Postobon, an owl landed on the field after being struck by a ball, and Pereira’s Luis Moreno kicked the bird. Even worse, the owl is Junior Barranquilla’s official mascot and good luck charm, so I’m sure the team went apesh*t and taught him a lesson, right? Nope. They gave him a stern, “What the heck, man?” Probably because Moreno is a pretty big dude.

As fans shouted in protest and chanted “Murderer” at Moreno, the bird was simply cleared from the field and taken to a zoo for treatment. Luckily, the bird is fine and I don’t have to worry about getting my barbed wire baseball bat through Customs for a little trip down to Bogota for avian justice. So what then of Moreno’s despicable act? How does the man with no corazon feel?

“I apologize to the fans, it wasn’t my intention, I did it to see if the owl could fly,” said Moreno after the game, which he left amid a heavy police guard. The Pereira player explained he did it to rid the field of the bird as quickly as possible. (Via Columbia Reports)

The problem with that excuse is that people have eyes, and they use those eyes to watch video footage of people kicking injured owls. If Moreno felt any concern, he sure has a strange way of showing it. Needless to say, animal groups are furious over Moreno’s treatment of the mascot, and they’re calling on the Colombian government to take serious action. And action will be swiftly dealt, friends. Mainly because the country has no animal abuse laws, so Moreno won’t be punished. Viva justicia!

Video after the jump…

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HORSES ARE HIGH-FIVE-ING, GANG-BANGING

Written by JOSH Z / 10.06.09

This is nothing more than your garden-variety “High school students somewhere in America sell raunchy shirts of horses fingercuffing cheerleader from rival school while exchanging an equine high-five of sorts.” But everyone else is posting it, so I feel compelled to weigh in on it, even though its actual relevance to sports is significantly small.

Actual “show your school spirit” shirt sold by students to “support team.”

Via an anonymous and concerned parent. via, via.

Those “vias” were a feminist law professor blog, and Jezebel, which is basically Cosmo in first-draft form. Anyway, it’s almost inconceivable that this is being sold by anyone other than a handful of students in some sort of underground market. Furthermore, said kids probably can’t even wear them to school. And “supporting the team” has been misinterpreted in the comments of both sites: the school isn’t seeing any money from the sale of these tees. And it’s a good thing, because the objectification of young girls wearing skimpy outfits and jumping along the sidelines uttering cheers any 8-year-old could concoct while the men are doing all the work in the field is just horrendous…except when it’s being done by cartoon Equidae of the animal kingdom. Eat your heart out, Eeyore. Among other things. Thanks, John. Also. Read the rest of this entry »

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COYOTE VS. STOCK CAR ENDS LIKE YOU’D EXPECT

Written by JOSH Z / 08.13.09

I have a hard time feeling sorry for coyotes (especially the ones that make such great hood ornaments), but this poor little bugger got more than he could handle when he stepped onto the track at the Toyota Arizona Proving Grounds and suddenly found himself on the ass end of one of life’s cruel 1 vs. 16 matchups. The background of this image is obviously the victor of this exchange, driven by Joe Gibbs Racing’s very own Brad “Road Runner” Coleman.

“It just started smoking like crazy. And it smelled terrible. I didn’t see anything in the mirror, so I was like, ‘I wonder where it went?’”

It went nowhere, Brad. And sure, your radiator’s full of coyote guts and your engine might be shot, but look on the bright side: that’s a new scarf for your wife. Too bad Arizona is hardly scarf weather. And honestly, this little guy probably had a better, less painful demise then the other Coyotes in the area.

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THE TOUR DE FRANCE IS OVER

Written by Matt / 07.30.07

The Tour de France ended this weekend, and — as expected — a man riding a bicycle won.  Now, I could take this opportunity to post some sincere thoughts on the continued doping controversies that marred this year's Tour and the state of post-Lance cycling in general… OR… I could post another video of a dog wrecking bicyclists!  HOORAY!!! 

[PartMule

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POKER JUST GOT EXCITING

Written by Matt / 07.30.07

According to the YouTube description of this video, the last person sitting at the table while the bull ran loose would win a prize.  That prize: a bull absolutely ruining your shit.

WARNING: There are some graphic, bloody images are in this video.  Sweet!  MORE SERIOUS WARNING:  You should consider muting your sound. The video has "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers.  And pretty much the last thing anyone needs to hear on a Monday morning is "The Gambler."  I'd almost rather be told I'm fired. 

[Draft General via 100% Injury Rate

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