This one should actually be on the list.

Links

Your Nostalgia Is Killing You: The 30 Worst TV Theme Songs of All Time - I’m going to start off with two list posts that put me at odds with the people I write with at Uproxx. This isn’t “worst theme songs”, it’s any theme song you can remember, and half of them are awesome. [UPROXX]

The 8 Most Nauseating Disney Channel Shows of All Time - The second list is from Jason, a person I don’t know, who sh*t-talks The Suite Life of Zack and Cody AND, AND Dumbo’s Circus. Talk bad about Dumbo’s Circus again and I will literally kill you. [Warming Glow]

Planned Parenthood: 5 Jay-Z Songs About Becoming a Dad - I hope 99 Problems gets rewritten to suggest that a bitch IS one of his problems. [Smoking Section]

7 Monstrous Cthulhu Tattoos: The Evil Being Awakens Human Skin - People will get anything tattooed on them. I want to get the volcano from the old Dianetics commercial. [Gamma Squad]

The Internet Responds to Hurricane Irene with Typical Class and Grace - Slightly less disrespectful than running around with your middle fingers in the air while a reporter tells you to stay inside. [UPROXX]

Mila Kunis Loves World of Warcraft - No she doesn’t. Don’t buy this. Olivia Munn doesn’t like video games either. Morgan Webb likes video games because she liked them before she was supposed to. [Gamma Squad]

Never Nude for a Good Cause - The most important link on this list. Donate money, if you can. I’m going to donate money as soon as I start getting paid. [Warming Glow]

George Lucas’s Daughter Beats Up a Japanese Chick - Additionally, George Lucas has been beating the sh*t out of the rest of us since like 1995. [Film Drunk]

T.I. Reportedly to Be Released from Prison on Wednesday - You know it ain’t nothin’ for him to drop a couple stacks on you. Stacks of what, I’m not sure. [Smoking Section]

Matthew Fox Punched a Lady in the Crotch - Suddenly 10 million Chris Brown fans put “Lost” on their Netflix queue. [FARK]

5 Petty Acts That Somehow Violated NCAA Rules - I hope “attempting to demonize deacons” is on here somewhere. Also, “tarring one’s heels”. [The Smoking Jacket]

When Did America Develop Better Taste in Movies Than the Rest of the World? - When we stopped assuming “what people watch a lot” meant “what people like”. I’ve seen two of three Transformers movies in the theater, but they didn’t taste good. [Moviefone]

7 Bizarre Ancient Contraception Techniques - Number eight: Having Brandon’s 7th grade haircut. [Buzzfeed]

The 5 People and Things on Network TV I Miss the Most Right Now - 1. Freaks and Geeks, 2. Paramore music videos, 3. The Bozo Show with the proper Bozo from my childhood, 4. Cookie from the Bozo Show, 5. Cuddly Dudley. [Pajiba]

Links

25 Idiots Who Blamed Hurricane Irene on Gay Marriage - The only gay person responsible for a hurricane is Pat Patterson. Hopefully one day we’ll decide that disasters are caused by things that happen, not things we hate. [Buzzfeed]

Supercut: Stephen Colbert Dancing - Something to make you feel better on a Monday morning. Considerably better dancing than hurricane-causing Ellen. [Warming Glow]

31 Movie Teens You Wish You’d Actually Gone to High School With - Lauren Ambrose circa Can’t Hardly Wait. Next. [FARK]

A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay - This week’s gallery is especially strong, thanks to appearances from Arcade AND Forbush Man. Cosplay is awesome when you do it right. [Gamma Squad]

Lil Wayne Takes a Shot at Jay-Z - Jay-Z is gonna be mad when he finds out Wayne said he never figured out how to love, thanks to all those crooks who kept trying to steal his heart. [Smoking Section]

6 Reason It’s OK to Like MTV’s Jersey Shore - Reason 1: Snooki did that Oompa Loompa cartwheel back elbow thing at Wrestlemania, and it was better than anyone assumed she could do. Reasons 2-6: unknown. [The Smoking Jacket]

The Venture Bros.’ 9 Most Musical Moments - What’s with everybody who makes good cartoons at Adult Swim deciding they also need to be rock stars? And furthermore, where is the Xavier double album? [Adult Swim]

The Best Fake Fast Food Chains - Does Arby’s count? [UGO]

The 10 Best Musical Performances of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - I honestly believe that Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young is a better musical act than most of the musical acts. Although I really like Neil Young. [Pajiba]

A Virtual Tour of Curb Your Enthusiasm Locations - Not exactly the world of the Na’vi, but still worth a look. Every location is better if you bring along an orchestra to play Wagner. [AOL TV]

Sara Jean Underwood Cosplays at Anime Expo - Seriously, why isn’t Morgan Webb doing things in her underwear anymore? Did she turn 30 and get Logan’s Run’d? I AM TIRED OF COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS. [G4TV]

The Terrific Adventures of White Mike Vick - Possibly our best feature from last week, read Burnsy’s hilarious work while I spend 20 minutes a day filtering out all the hateful comments both for and against. [With Leather]