I am well aware that blogging on a sports comedy site does not make me a “journalist” or a “reporter”, and sure, 90% of my day is collecting cheesy wrestler photos until I can run downstairs and watch movies, but Jesus Christ, even my highest-of-the-low-quality-writers no-worth-ethic-having ass would not use my internationally-broadcast Weather Channel report on Hurricane Isaac as an excuse to “Tebow”.

This is Weather Channel expert and “fitness nut” Jim Cantore Tebowing in the middle of Hurricane Isaac. I think the worst part is his “uhhh these winds are really powerful and it’s GETTIN’ HARD TO STAND” thing before it. He should’ve started off the report planking facedown in the street.

In case you’ve got a kinder heart than mine and you’re thinking, “maybe he really couldn’t stand up”, here’s a second clip of him doing push-ups.

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Does this shirtless guy with green hair and a leather mask strike you as the kind of person who might be having internal problems? Well, former WWE star Shane “Hurricane” Helms is now under investigation for driving drunk after blowing through a stop sign on his motorcycle, losing control of the bike, and sending himself and his girlfriend flying face first through a chain link fence.

Cops say one of the witnesses told officers he was hanging out with Helms at a local restaurant minutes before the crash and said he “was sure” Helms had been drinking there.

While no charges have been filed, this isn’t Helms’ first go-round with being drunk and doing things he isn’t supposed to; he was arrested in January of 2010 for public intoxication when he got piss drunk and tried to fight Chris Jericho in a cab. It’s also not his first go-round with being thrown face first into a chain link wall (they teach you that in wrestling school … although they don’t teach you how to fall off of a twenty foot ladder), but the accident this accident gave him what I’m gonna go ahead and call a “face turn,” pictured right. Not really the way you want to turn your face.

Also, come to think of it, he used to drive a motorcycle around (with his girlfriend in it, even) on wrestling shows. He called it the “Hurri-cycle.” Man, I hope that eyewitness who saw him drinking wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt with “Super Hero In Training” on the front.

[TMZ]