‘SHOTGUN WEDDING’ REDUX

Written by JOSH Z / 04.20.09

This is the newly-wed Rene Thompson of Louisville, Kentucky. She and her husband, Bruce, were married in Jamaica, and then the romance really started…with the first day of turkey season in East Tennessee.

After getting off the plane from Jamaica in Atlanta the couple didn’t even take the time to knock the sand from their shoes. They got in their car – where they had stashed guns, calls and camo – and drove to AEDC Wildlife Management Area. They slept in the car, then at daylight started hunting.

It wasn’t long before Bruce got a turkey to gobble. They put a decoy out and about 10 minutes after that Rene had a 17-pound jake with a 4-inch beard on the ground.

“Bruce would call and it would gobble and to be able to experience that was great,” she said.

What is it about women with guns that makes me want to run for my life? It’s bad enough that we let them drive and vote, amirite? I wonder what Bruce does to get himself a little personal guy time. Maybe goes to the mall with all his girlfriends and complain about how all his wife does is hunt. Guys don’t realize how good they have it sometimes. Especially when firearms are involved.

|Knoxville News Sentinel|

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DEER SHOT BY HUNTER FIGHTS BACK

Written by Matt / 12.03.08

A Montana Missouri man who thought he had killed a deer while hunting was surprised to learn otherwise when the injured buck regained consciousness and attacked him.

Randy Goodman, 49, said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on Nov. 19. Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life. The buck rose up, knocked Goodman down and attacked him with his antlers in what the veteran hunter called “15 seconds of hell.” The deer ran a short distance and went down, and died after Goodman fired two more shots.

Soon Goodman started feeling dizzy and noticed his vest was soaked in blood. So he reached his truck and drove to a hospital, where he received seven staples in his scalp and was treated for a slight concussion and bruises.

In a related story, “15 seconds of hell” is what my girlfriend calls sex with me.  It also explains the seven staples in my head.

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