Yesterday, we shared an appearance from Los Angeles Clippers alley-oopist Blake Griffin on Conan, wherein he made a bunch of weird faces and created Conan O’Brien to be his teammate in NBA 2K13. In a better world I’d be sharing Conan clips every day, and Metta World Peace would accept his fate and become the Masturbating Bear.

Anyway, today’s Conan clips feature World Series champion and insectoid athlete overlord Hunter Pence discussing what happens when your bat shatters and hits a ball three times and/or the value of using a Katy Perry song as your walk-up music. He also reveals that when he doesn’t know what’s happening and people tell him to run, he does so by flapping his arms around and yelling “woooo”. HE IS ALSO A BUNCH OF INSECTS IN A MAN SUIT.

Both clips are after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

For every beginning there is an end.

That’s the tagline for Final Destination 2. In case part of their audience considered that philosophy, the second tagline is

More Speed. More Horror. More Death.

…and I’m guessing “these people are dying and Lol it is crazy” is right behind. Anyway, The Dugout returns (in 3-D! Not really) with part two of SFinal Destination, from guest writer Bill Hanstock. If you didn’t read part one, please be sure to do so before reading today’s strip because it picks up right where part one left off without any exposition. Kinda like Final Destination 2. The real humor in this is knowing that while the injuries have been exaggerated a bit, literally everything going on in these comics happened in real life. Even Brian Wilson’s face.

Please click through and enjoy the comic. The thrilling conclusion happens tomorrow.

Read the rest of this entry »

I was talking with Nick the other night, and we determined that the most forgotten team in baseball is either the Toronto Blue Jays or the Houston Astros. Sometimes they’re moderately good or bad, but never enough for anyone to take notice. At least the Pirates and Royals can hang their hats on being perennially awful. At least the Brewers have Prince Fielder. At least the Blue Jays… are in a different country, which is sort of interesting. So Houston it is. Did you know that their coach is named Brad Mills? Liar.

I thought it would be nice, then, to shift the Dugout’s focus to Houston. This Dugout contains every single thing I know about the 2011 Astros. Find name-brand quality at store-brand prices after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

I've barely heard of Hunter Pence before this morning, but the Astros' young outfielder will now be forever famous for having the spatial reasoning of a barn swallow: Pence crashed through a plate glass sliding door that he thought had been left open, leaving him with lacerations all over his body.

Pence said he was preparing to go into the hot tub with a friend outside his apartment when he decided to go to the bathroom first. At that point, he had left the door open. When he headed back he didn't realize his friend had shut it, he said…

"There's like a ledge to go from the outside to inside and I was kind of hopping to go get up the ledge," Pence said… "And the glass door was shut, so I just didn't see the door and just jumped through it."

That sucks.  One moment you're getting ready for some sexy time with a hot young piece of A in your jacuzzi, then the next thing you know you're on the ground, dazed, and covered in blood.  Kind of like a date with one of my readers.

[FanHaus]