As you may know, the Houston Texans cheerleaders are my favorite. They’re a fun bunch of ladies who aren’t afraid to Fandango on the Internet between the Monday Fandango was cool and the Monday he was violently ruined.

Here they are hanging out with the 41st President of the United States, George H.W. Bush, and his amazing, amazing socks. Look at those things. I bet even Derrick Bateman doesn’t own socks that patriotic.

President George H.W. Bush recently spent some time with the Houston Texans Cheerleaders and a few photos and videos were snapped. The former President was on hand to present roses to the newest selected 2013-2014 Houston Texans Cheerleaders. The President presented each of the 35 girls with a red rose, and also had time to thank the ones who visited him while he was in the hospital recently. (via Next Impulse Sports)

All political preferences and discussion aside, this is sweet. Here’s the follow-up picture, featuring George making a perfectly reasonable face to be made around a Houston Texans cheerleader whether you’ve been the leader of the free world or not.

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If you don’t watch WWE programming, you may not be familiar with Fandango. He’s a pro wrestler slash ballroom dancer (no, seriously) who will only wrestle you if you pronounce his name properly. It’s not “Fandango,” it’s “FAAAAAAAHN, DAAAAAAAHN, GOOOOOO.” You really have to let the As breathe. His entrance theme is a wonderful piece of elevator music by WWE maestro Jim Johnston. Up until now, Fandango has only been loved by esoteric Internet weirdos like myself, who prefer niche, goofy character work to, say, The Rock saying he’s gonna turn stuff sideways and stick it up a guy’s ass.

Anyway, the crowd at Monday’s live Raw show changed all that. You can read about it in this week’s Best and Worst of Raw column, but here’s the short version: the crowd suddenly (possibly ironically) fell in love with Fandango, cheering him and singing his entrance theme. Well, humming it, because there aren’t any words. They started dancing around, and a phenomenon was born. His entrance theme (“ChaChaLaLa” … no, seriously) started selling like mad, and is still in a ridiculously high spot on most popular music charts.

To continue Fandango’s ascent into pop culture infamy, NFL cheerleaders have started doing the Fandango. Fandangoing, if you will.

When 51 Finalists competing to be Texans Cheerleaders paused from action last night… The most EPIC fit of #Fandangoing broke out at Practice! “No… no no no it’s…”

I knew there was a reason I loved this team. Here’s the video. Warning: You will be singing/doing this all day.

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Lately, we’ve been trying to focus more on the positive side of sports news and gossip, which means more Dirk Nowitzki dressed up as Dr. Satan for the benefit of children or Daniel Bryan letting a little boy with cancer tap him out and less TMZ comparing women to sows. Even that had Kate Upton pictures in it. This trend will probably reverse when the new year drops and suddenly everybody has a sex tape, but for now, it’s a good thing.

In the spirit of positivity, here’s my favorite story of the day — a young Houston Texans fan became concerned when Arian Foster left the team’s 23-6 loss to the Minnesota Vikings early with an irregular heartbeat, so she decided to write him a letter to tell him he’s the best player on the team, and that she hopes his heart feels better. And she drew the logo!

As cute as that is, what makes the story truly great (and different from the time I wrote a letter to Cal Ripken Jr. when I was four with an enclosed macaroni & cheese baseball card and did not/have not heard back from him in almost 30 years) is the fact that Foster saw the letter, and took to Twitter to respond. He didn’t draw any logos, but it’s almost as adorable:

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In case you’re new to the program, we have a short list of topics that we will always post about, no matter how non-sports related or inconsequential they are, including but not limited to:

1) Kate Upton
2) Animals in costumes
3) Soldiers returning home to surprise their families at sporting events
4) Religions and politics and how much your point of view is wrong compared to ours

Because we already successfully disproved six religions and finally reached quorum in our meeting of the Rhinoceros Party of Canada yesterday, we’re going to focus on No. 3 today, as the Houston Texans had a little halftime deal last Sunday that was right up our alley.

Chief Warrant Officer Eric Spoerle had been serving in Afghanistan for the last seven months, and he was able to come home to see his wife and two sons during halftime of the Texans’ 29-17 victory over the Indianapolis Colts. Spoerle’s family was brought onto the field, as they thought Eric’s service was simply being honored and they’d be receiving some Texans jerseys, until Houston’s mascot, Toro, came out on a cart and revealed their dad from under box that looked like a Christmas present.

You can watch the video after the jump, while I clean up this box of Christmas dust that I just opened.

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New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and his wife, eventual billionaire model Gisele Bundchen, just welcomed their second child (Brady’s third) into the world. Joining the two boys that Brady has already fathered is a daughter named Vivian Lake Brady, which is considerably better than Katniss Vanellope. But I’m not here to make child birth announcements for millionaires. I’m here to ask the hard-hitting questions and make people think. That said…

When is Brady going to meet with Jay Cutler about raising their kids to eventually date and get married so they can eventually breed an army of quarterbacks that feature Brady’s strong talents and Cutler’s lack of concern for anything and anyone?

I look forward to the day of their marriage.

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Earlier this season, there were fantasy football reports across the major sites that included a rather depressing update about Houston Texans receiver Andre Johnson. I don’t remember which NFL reporter was involved, but these reports basically read something like, “Andre Johnson’s knees are done and he’s a shell of his former self” and yadda yadda. And it doesn’t matter who the reporter was, because Johnson has been a maniac for Houston of late, with 670 receiving yards over his last 5 games, and that includes a stupi-ridicu-tastical-donkulous 288-yard performance on Thanksgiving against the Detroit Lions.

But this isn’t about AJ’s on-field performances, at least not until he presumably torches the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football this week. This is about how Johnson took 12 “at-risk” kids to a Houston Toys-R-Us yesterday and let them run wild, grabbing as many toys as they could in 80 seconds. The result? Johnson shelled out more than $19,000 for their efforts.

Hold on a sec, my eyes just started leaking happy juice.

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