On the last installment of Sports On TV, we tackled ‘The Wire’, a romanticized look at inner-city life and law in Baltimore, Maryland. If we drive an hour, then get into a fight on a basketball court and fly across the country, we’ll be ready for ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’, the 1990s sitcom that launched rapper Will Smith into mega movie stardom and gave ‘Silver Spoons’ star Alfonso Ribeiro an awesome paycheck for like seven years.

‘The Fresh Prince’ is one of my sentimental favorites (as longtime readers of The Dugout may know), so I was excited to tackle its 20 Greatest Sports Moments. I got something like 15 just from season 1 guest stars. Biggest possible thanks goes to Josh Koebert for helping me out with the images. Follow him on Twitter, he deserves your love for making this happen.

You’re probably already singing the theme song in your head, so let’s make this happen. The 20 greatest sports moment of ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’.

/high-five
/pshhhh

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In America’s latest attempt to turn sports into Diddy Kong Racing, here’s the sixth annual “Extreme Race Day”, a Minnesota area event featuring ostrich heats, racing camels, helium-enhanced horse races and more. Please note that we’ve had six of them. We may have finally topped Backflips And Beatdowns, everybody. Congratulations.

The following clips come to us from Awful Announcing, and if you’re wondering why they’d be the ones covering Extreme Race Day, here’s a sample of the hyper-literate banter accompanying a bunch of dudes falling off ostriches:

“These birds are crazy, look out, one might fly in the crowd, start peckin!”

At different points in the video the ostriches are said to have “devilish eyes” and are called “two legged terrorists”, leading me to believe that nobody in Minnesota has ever seen a f**king ostrich and thinks they’re some kind of ancient dragon. They’re ostriches, guys. If you don’t cram them into a starting gate and make someone sit on them they probably won’t try to kill anybody.

Anyway, I’ve kept you away from Extreme Race Day highlights long enough. Check them out below.

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The big horse racing event of the weekend was clearly the 28th Breeders Cup Turf at Churchill Downs and its $26 million purse on Saturday, as 18-year old Joseph O’Brien, riding St. Nicholas Abbey, became the youngest jockey to win the event. And while that’s all fine and dandy if you’re a fan of Irish horses, the real horse racing fun began last Thursday in Australia with the Crown Oaks race during Oaks Day. I mean, as if I even had to tell you that.

The race was a “star”-studded affair with celebrities like Elizabeth Hurley, Joan Collins, some girl named Ruby Rose, former Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins, and a slew of other people I’ve never heard of showing up to watch horses run in a circle. But the brightest star of the bunch was Sarah Jessica Parker, who was in the country/continent to promote her new, incredibly aptly-titled film, I Don’t Know How She Does It. Parker looked fantastic as she waved to the crowd and posed for pictures with the winning jockey, Danny Nikolic. However, there was a brief scare when she tripped on the track and medical personnel attempted to put her down.

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If you weren’t taking inventory of your beef jerky and pornography for the rapture on Saturday, there’s a good chance that you tuned into the 136th annual Preakness Stakes to see Shackleford out-horse the rest of this year’s equine contenders. Shackleford notably surrendered the lead to Animal Kingdom at the Kentucky Derby earlier this year, and it appeared to be déjà vu all over again as Kingdom made a late run at the Preakness title. But Shackleford held Kingdom off to eliminate any hopes of a Triple Crown win this year, so now we can talk about what really matters – girls in bikinis.

Everyone knows that the real Preakness highlights take place at the infield party, and this year’s party was off the chain, hook and any other slang terms that the kids use these days. Not only could you check out the ladies of the 2011 Jagermeister International Bikini Contest, but you could also stalk hang out with infield hostess and former WWE star Stacy Keibler, as well as enjoy music by Bruno Mars and Train. Did I say enjoy? Sorry, that was careless of me.

There were also plenty of sort-of-celebrities in attendance, and the Baltimore Sun’s extensive Preakness coverage captured all of the action, including the bikinis and celebs.

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By now you’re probably familiar with the Ocean Park, New Jersey horse race clip that made the rounds last year, featuring two horses with the disagreeing names Mywifenoseverything and Thewifedoesntknow. But now an older race video is also getting some attention because of a horse with a much simpler and equally great name – Arrrrr.

This 2008 race at the Saratoga Race Course has already been a big hit with horse racing fans, and the announcer Tom Durkin is a bit of a legend, but since I prefer my animal competitions to feature angry, starving turtles, I’ve clearly never seen this video before. Arrrrr (a local legend according to Wikipedia) runs in the back for most of the race, but the horse gets fired up and so does Durkin, leading to what sounds like a cross between an excited pirate and a stroke victim.

Video after the jump…

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We are all faced with once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and it is how we deal with those shots that defines us as men. And occasionally women, I guess, if they discover an awesome recipe or a new way to type shorthand. That opportunity arrived for horse racing announcer Larry Collmus this past Sunday and he took the bull by the horns, but in this case the bull is a horse and the horns are ironic names.

Collmus called the seventh race at Monmouth Park in Oceanpark, New Jersey, and the race came down to the wire between two horses – Mywifenoseverything and Thewifedoesntknow. Ultimately, Mywifenoseverything won despite terrible grammar, but the real winner was Collmus, and his prize is newfound Internet glory. The loser was Tiger Woods, because millions of people are going to post this video on Facebook along with comments like, “I didn’t know Tiger Woods owned horses” and their co-workers will LOL all day long.

Tell us, was the mood tense for Collmus, Metro UK:

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