The synopsis for this ‘Conan’ highlight tells you everything you need to know:

“Orb” is a cool name for a racehorse. “Timothy’s Weak Erection” is not.

Conan put together a list of lower-stakes racehorse names, and the results include Tim’s sexual problems, an O.J. Simpson reference and my personal favorite, “Disturbing German Pornography.” The Kentucky Derby is the worst, so a big thank you goes out to Conan O’Brien for giving me something to laugh about. The clip, courtesy of Team Coco, is after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Please, throw Bud Light responsibly."

If you thought the strange feud between Lil Wayne and the Miami Heat was over – you know, because Weezy is cool with LeBron James’ mom and all – you were dead wrong, because Miami’s homegrown rappers have been stepping up to call out Wayne for dissing the 305. It started with Unkle Luke reminding Lil Wayne that he’s the unofficial mayor of Miami, and now everyone’s favorite product pitchman and the possible result of a threeway involving Luke and Jon Secada, Pitbull, has released his own diss track directed at Weezy. Ladies and gentlemen, hip hop in 2013.

But before Lil Wayne can retaliate with his own diss track or by possibly giving him scurvy, Pitbull has to fulfill his latest obligation of headlining the 2013 Preakness InfieldFest on May 18 at the Pimlico Race Track in Baltimore. Because when you think horse racing, you think drinking Dr. Pepper under a freeway. No beef, though, because the Preakness folks just want to fist pump their Bud Light Limes and have a real good time.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Friday, so here’s a clip of “Bladerunner” Oscar Pistorius defeating a horse in a race. To the horse’s credit, though, let’s see how fast Pistorius is piggybacking somebody who won’t stop smacking him in the ass with a stick. (via Bush League Chronicle)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Allow These Marc Maron Stand Up Clips To Remind You That Marc Maron Isn’t Just A Podcaster |UPROXX|

Sports On TV: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’s 15 Greatest Sports Moments |With Leather|

A GIFtastic Celebration Of The Most Gloriously Bloody Show On Television |Warming Glow|

The Golden Globes Love Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, apparently |Film Drunk|

Caveat Kickstarter: Five Signs You Shouldn’t Fund A Gaming Kickstarter |Gamma Squad|

15 Sports Stories That Defined 2012 |Smoking Section|

Doug Martin Is Now A Christmas Hamster |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Read the rest of this entry »

After a few weeks of writing about shows me and three other people in the world like (Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, Boy Meets World, et al.), we decided to dedicate a Sports On TV column to a show the entire UPROXX network loves — ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,’ FX’s delightfully cruel comedy that has its own page of recaps and commenter badges on the UPROXX mothership.

The show’s use of Philadelphia is at least as comprehensive as ‘The Wire’s’ use of Baltimore, and all of the important Philly area teams and icons have made an appearance on the show … the Eagles, the Flyers, the Phillies, the Phillie Phanatic. ‘It’s Always Sunny’ also launched the worldwide popularity of GREEN MAN, who you may know as “that a-hole in the morphsuit at any sporting event.” It’s an important thing they’re doing, so we’re here to talk about it.

Things we have to apologize for in advance: crude language, situations meant for mature audiences and getting the “Flipadelphia” song stuck in your head again.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Melbourne Cup, for those unaware (and climb out of your hole already), is Australia’s biggest annual horse race, so it’s a lot like whatever those horse races that people pretend to like here in America. And much like the fancy pants Americans (and soiled frat boys) who attend those races, people in Australia like to get dressed up and hit the Melbourne Cup, because it is the place to be seen by the biggest names in elite Aussies, like Paul Hogan and Hugh Jackman, I assume.

This year’s big winner was Green Moon and rider Brett Prebble, as the 2012 Cup featured the event’s highest prize money amount yet at $6.2 million. But nobody really cares about that today, because all anyone can talk about is the babe in the blue dress and why she wanted to kick everyone’s ass. I’ve included two videos after the jump, but please be aware that kicking everyone’s ass denotes violence, and there is at least one underwear crotch shot.

What I mean is that these videos were made with us in mind.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Three Stooges were a comedy act that lasted from 1925 until 1970 (!), and yeah, while the majority of their act was showcased in theatrical shorts, their lasting cultural relevancy comes from a television revival, so we’re counting them as “TV”.

Your opinion of The Three Stooges may vary, but your Dad loves them. They’ve come in and out of social consciousness in so many ways it’s hard to describe. They’ve been in movies, they’ve been in cartoons, they’ve been re-imagined for modern audiences by the people behind There’s Something About Mary and been an influence to countless comedians, even the ones who won’t admit it. They were never the most highbrow thing in the world, but they did something right. They also featured a lot of sports in their features, and because I already dated the hell out of myself with the 20 Greatest Sports Moments Of The Brady Bunch, I might as well trick the blogging audience into thinking I’m 100 years old.

If you like this week’s Sports On TV column, be sure to drop us a comment (especially if we forgot something important), click the “like” button to share it with strangers on the Internet, and maybe send it over to your Dad. He’ll think it’s funny.

Read the rest of this entry »