A hearty Semper Fidelis goes to trusty reader Alex, who gives us this bit of hooker news from Ohio State: the Buckeyes' third-string quarterback went looking for some companionship on Monday night.

According to the Franklin County Prosecutor's Office, Antonio Henton was arrested and charged with soliciting a prostitute on North High Street and East 6th Avenue at about 8:30 p.m.

OSU boosters must be slacking off.  I guess only starters get the whores sent directly to their apartments these days. 

Man, why do I always pick on Ohio?  And why do I have the picture of Troy Smith after last year's embarrassing loss to Florida in the national championship?  I'm not entirely sure, but it probably has something to do with Ohio State fans being the most insufferable people in the entire world of sports.  Yes, worse than Red Sox and Yankees fans.  Worse than Steelers fans.  I'm sorry to tell it like it is, but you people suck.  I promise it's nothing personal; you're just annoyingly dedicated to overrated teams.

UPDATE: All charges dismissed. Henton's good name cleared; Buckeye fans still annoying dickheads. 

UPDATED UPDATE: Case was accidentally closed before; now it's been re-opened. Turn the hooker-joke faucet back on.

Congratulations to #25 Texas A&M, which cruised to a 38-7 victory over Montana State in its season opener on Saturday.  Of course, the Aggies are also the masculine ideals that head to the bordello for good times in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (above).

As you musical theater fans surely recall, the Aggies win a key game over their hated Longhorn rivals and celebrate by heading to the "Chicken Ranch" for some hooker-nailing on the state senator's dime.  Naturally, they prepare for a trip to the whorehouse in the most masculine way possible: by breaking into song, helping remove each other's clothes, hugging in the shower, and dancing like there's no tomorrow.

The sad thing about this whole premise?  All these guys cheated on their girlfriends.  You know, the ones that live upstate.  They're supposed to go see them next weekend.  Really.

My apologies that With Leather is just now getting to the five-hooker orgy held by Manchester United striker Cristiano Ronaldo.  Certain assistant editors who drank pint glasses of whiskey at a wedding suffered "computer crashes," which limited our usual weekend coverage.

Anyway.  I highly recommend the long-form description of partner-swapping, jacuzzi-/steam room-sex, manhood size, lesbian cunnilingus, masturbation, "fags" and "bums" meaning different things, fat dudes, and hooker photos over at News of the World… but for our purposes, let's just go straight to the ladies' testimonial.  (Apparently, they didn't get a tip for their work.)

"I thought having sex with three Manchester United stars would be like a dream come true. But I realise now that being a WAG is not all it looks cracked up to be especially if this is the way they all behave… these men had no manners."

Personally, I think letting them leave without dissolving them in a bathtub of lye is a pretty nice tip, but I recognize that there are some cultural divides I may not fully understand.

Frat boy sez: Damn right they didn't get a tip — they got the shaft!  Hey-O! 

Birmingham City star Garry O'Connor kicked off the Premiership season in the best way possible: with lots of hookers.

O'Connor kicked off the Premiership season at his new club by having a booze-fuelled orgy with four hookers…

The striker… paid £1,000 cash to have the girls join him and three mates in a luxury hotel. Dad-of-one O'Connor, 24, swapped the girls with his mates for different sex acts. But the orgy turned ugly when £2.7million-rated O'Connor—whose pregnant fiancée Lisa is expecting their second child—pulled one of the vice girls by the hair and swore at her after she had stripped off.

They booked them for just one hour, bundled them into a black cab and took them on a four-minute journey across town to Birmingham's four-star Radisson Hotel… The girls had intercourse and oral sex in the suite, on the bed and in the bathroom. Afterwards they returned to the club where they worked and complained to regulars about the way they were treated.

"Boo hoo hoo!  Those men treated me poorly!  I never expected this when I became a hooker!"

(More on this — including better photo evidence of O'Connor's splendid fauxhawk-mullet combo — at sexy friend Kickette.)

I never realized this was illegal, but Washington Wizards free agent Andray Blatche was arrested yesterday for soliciting an undercover cop for sex.

Blatche and a male acquaintance were arrested at 12:11 yesterday morning… after attempting to solicit sex from a female police officer in the prostitution enforcement unit… The Wizards have held high hopes for the 6-foot-11, 248-pound Blatche since selecting him with the 49th overall pick [in 2005], but his impact on the team has been minimal because his rookie season was stunted when he was shot in an attempted carjacking near his home in Alexandria. 

I've gotta say, it's pretty dishonest of cops to disguise themselves as hookers.  I'm sure Blatche respects the law; it's not like he would have offered her money for sex if she'd been wearing her uniform. In fact, the cop should be flattered that Blatche found her attractive.  Besides, he's the victim here.  I think getting shot during a carjacking entitles you to a little victimless vice crime.  But what do I know?  I'm just a guy with a huge penis.

(Also see: FanHouse, Deadspin) 

Chris Mottram at Mr. Irrelevant combined his skills at masturbating to Internet sluts with his skills at masturbating to reality TV sluts to successfully discern that the pneumatic blonde enjoyed by Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher is none other than Erin from VH1's "Rock of Love."  Rock of Love, if for some reason you're unfamiliar, is the show where trashy sluts get drunk and try to win over Bret Michaels or Vince Neil or somebody who got laid a lot twenty years ago.

You'll be pleased to know that Erin was Miss Hooters of Illinois 2002, which means she's approximately 20% as interesting as fellow castmates Brandi C. and Brandi M., who are both whores.  I'm sorry, that might be the wrong term.  They've both been in porn and got paid to have sex, so — okay, I guess "whores" is pretty accurate after all.