The Chief shared the tale of Formula One racing president Max Mosley's Nazi-hooker romp earlier this week, and now Mosley is (GASP!) suing the British tabloid that originally published the story:

"I was the victim of a disgusting conspiracy. It goes without saying that the so-called Nazi element is pure fabrication, . . . Many people do things in their bedrooms or have personal habits which others find repugnant. But as long as they keep them private, nobody objects . . .I don't think any of this should affect my work on motoring safety, the environment or the sport. I believe that 21st century adults do not worry about private sexual matters as long as they are legal and harmless," the 67-year-old Mosley said.

Here, here! Well said old chap. Lord knows I wouldn't want anyone to see the things I do in the privacy of my bedroom. The events of those activities are strictly for me, the special lady I've paid for chosen that evening, and, I suppose, Donny – the guy who sleeps in the bunk underneath mine at the YMCA. I enjoy my privacy just like Mr. Mosley, I guess that's why I never videotape myself doing something untoward. Anyway, Mosley's response is pretty standard and mildly funny, but if you think I just posted this to look at more pictures of a bound and NSFW Lisa Boyle . . . you're absolutely correct. -KD 

Don't know who Max Mosley is?  Let me get you caught up: he's the head of Formula One racing whose father was a noted Nazi sympathizer during World War II.  Max enjoyed a nice little five-hour S&M orgy with five hookers, which actually sounds like a lot of fun, if a little heavy on torture/foreplay.  The part that was maybe a little unwise was MAKING A TAPE OF THE ENTIRE THING.  After shelling out $5000, Mosley stood a concentration camp-style inspection.  Fail a hooker's inspection?  Ohhh, that's a paddlin':

Mosley was then bent over and strapped naked to a leather torture bench. The muscular blonde dealt him 15 savage blows. Towards the end Mosley was whimpering and gasped for breath. Reddened and bruised, he then received a further six strokes with a cane.

His flogging over, he left the room before saying, "Thank you, mistress". After having his wounds dressed, Mosley makes the transformation from masochist to sadist. Now fully clothed, he bends two blonde girls over the whipping bench, their striped concentration camp-style uniform bottoms yanked down to expose their buttocks.[...]

At one point the wrinkled 67-year-old… yells "she needs more of ze punishment!" while brandishing a LEATHER STRAP over a brunette's naked bottom… With each blow, the girl yelps in pain as grinning, grey-haired Mosley becomes clearly aroused. And after the beating, he makes her perform a sex act on him.

You know, you hear too many stories of people just getting a hooker, having plain ol' sex, and going about their day.  I like Mosley's style.  If you're gonna pay for it, hey, live a little.  Splurge on those Nazi hookers.  It may seem pricey, but they're gonna give you a really efficient orgy.

This was lost in the shuffle of bikini-wearing WAGs and naked cheerleaders yesterday, but it's worth pointing out that FOX News commentator/yapcunt Laura Ingraham laid into Brett Favre for his emotional display at the press conference during which he announced his retirement. 

[Ingraham said,] "All these years, and I didn't know there was a woman quarterback in the NFL… Brett Favre…we're watching this in the studio, obviously retiring from the NFL, great quarterback, handsome 38-year-old man, he gets up there and he does this press conference that was frankly one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen."

"That's a great message for young boys. 'Get up there and act like a girl and start blubbering like a baby.'"

Then, in her best impersonation of a crying toddler with its favorite toy taken away, she wah-wah-wah's while uttering in a mocking tone, "It's about me, it was never about me, but it is about me, bla, bla, bla" before returning to her regular voice and stating, "I could not believe what I was seeing."

You know, every time I think With Leather goes too far in encouraging sexism and promoting an inaccurate, unfair portrayal women, a woman on FOX News steps up and totally shows me how it's really done.

[FanHouse] 

Too much going on today; gotta cram these law-breaking leftovers into one post. 

TWO CANADIENS SPENT THE NIGHT IN JAIL — Defenseman Ryan O'Byrne was charged with felony grand larceny for stealing a woman's purse; forward Tom Kostopoulos merely resisted an officer. "They were arrested around 3 a.m. outside Whiskey Park, a popular watering hole in South Tampa. The incident started when a woman set her purse on the counter top, according to the police report. She noticed it was missing and allerted [sic] the bouncers. They saw O'Byrne outside with the woman's purse in one hand and her cellphone in the other."  To be fair to O'Byrne, he was going to return the purse and phone as soon as he finished taking cell phone pictures of his cock.  (via FanHaus)

OHIO STILL OHIO — "Police in southwest Ohio said three members of a freshman high school boys basketball team are expected to be charged Monday with gross sexual imposition after an alleged assault on a teammate… A police officer wrote in a report that the alleged victim said a teammate made him have sexual contact with another teammate."  Nothing says builds camaraderie quite like anal violation.  It's the real reason prisons have such high recidivism. (via Deadspin)

LEGALIZED PROSTITUTION FOR NEXT WORLD CUP? — It's either that or organize an anti-Cristiano Ronaldo task force. (via YardBarker)

I watched an episode of The Hills a month or two ago, and all I could think was, "Really?  People watch this?"  It's just people wandering around LA in contrived, scripted situations and being bored.  I've seen infomercials that are more spontaneous.

Anyway, one thing I managed to get from the episode I watched is that LC isn't all that hot (she just wears lots of eye makeup and ties her hair up with a scarf), her friend Audrina is sexy as hell, and her enemy Heidi always looks crazy fug.  So I'm kinda confused as to why Audrina looks like crap here and Heidi's bangin'.  She got a nose job and breast implants, she's not a natural blonde, and those lips don't look 100% real either.  And she looks awesome.  So if there are any young, impressionable girls reading this site — and I hope there are — please take this lesson to heart: do anything to look pretty, because brains aren't important.  -Sincerely, MTV.

Police predict a massive influx of prostitutes for the Super Bowl, and many of the working girls from out of town will be "circuit girls," high-class hookers who blend in with wealthy clientele.  Kinda like the Cadillac of call girls.  And the Phoenix police aren't just going to sit back and let the girls work.

“It’s a big deal this year,” said Tammy Marie Pagel, a 31-year-old local hooker who was recently jailed in Phoenix but was scheduled to be released the week before the Super Bowl. Pagel said she had a number of high-paying clients waiting… The johns saw her ad on the Craigslist Web site and set up appointments before setting foot in Arizona, Pagel said. Each will pay $500 to $600 for an hour with her — several times what she typically charges.

“We’re going after the prostitutes, the people that pander to prostitutes — the pimps — as well as the johns,” [Sgt. Joel] Trantor said. “We’re going to combat this from every angle.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa… let's leave the johns out of this.  We're just regular guys, minding our business, getting ready to go back to our hotels to masturbate.  And if an attractive woman happens to offer an exchange of tempting services for a fee, how are we supposed to say no to such an offer?  And should we really be held responsible for not having enough money to pay the fee, leading to a hasty burial in the desert? 

If you think about it, what I'm doing is freeing up more policemen to protect us from possible terrorist attacks. I'm always looking for new ways to serve my country that way.

[Deuce of Davenport]