meat-sticks instead of Hot Pockets, if you know what I'm saying.  And I think you do.  Because you heard it yesterday.

Today we get more word of Ronaldo, as well as photos of one of the lovely she-dudes he picked up.  There's also a report that Ronaldo's girlfriend has dumped him, with the possibility that sponsors will follow suit.

According to Brazilian paper "Extra", Maria Beatriz Antony, who lived with Ronaldo up to a few days ago, returned to her parents in Brasilia. Friends told the paper that she repeatedly complained about Ronaldo's type of nightlife in Brazil since the player's return because of an injured knee. So his latest escapade may only be the final straw that tipped the balance against him.

"Extra" claims that Nike is considering unilateral termination of his contract and a request for damages as provided in a clause. "We are still collecting information, there is nothing official yet" is what spokesperson David Grinberg said on behalf of Nike's brazil office. The contract that ties Ronaldo to Nike is lifelong and is worth in excess of 100 million dollars.

Losing your girlfriend and a $100 million sounds bad until you factor in that at least he figured out the hookers were men before they started having sex.  So really, he came out ahead here.

[Also: Deadspin, FanIQ] 

Legendary AC Milan striker Ronaldo — the fat Brazilian Ronaldo who loves hookers, not the good-looking Portuguese Ronaldo who loves hookers — went out looking for a good time the other night and got himself three hookers.  Problem was, there was a little bit of, uh, false advertising.

Police said that the incident began when Ronaldo discovered he was dealing with transvestites instead of women and was reportedly infuriated. Carlos Augusto Nogueira, a police inspector, said that Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met but did not realise they were transvestites until they reached the motel.

“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.” Prostitution is not illegal in Brazil. “Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent [knee] surgery,” Nogueira added.

I don't see what the big deal is.  I mean, they were believable transvestites, right?  They're already with you at the hotel.  Might as well go through with it.  He could've probably even gotten a discount, what with, you know, none of them having vaginas.

[Machochip] 

The World Cup is still two years away, but South African hookers are already excited by the prospect of new business.  In an article with the headline "AIDS Girls on World Cup Game" in subtle 64-point bold Times New Roman, The Sun interviews three prostitutes looking forward to England's army of hooker-loving fans and players.

Yolanda Lorika, 19, squeals: “We just can’t wait. We only get paid about £10 for sex when drivers stop for us here. English men will pay a lot more.

“We’ll probably have to fight over them with the girls who already have pitches in that area, but it will be worth it.

Ladies, ladies, please!  With so many eager customers, there's no need to fight.  Unless, of course, they're paying you to fight.  Which I totally would do.  Hookerfighting is the new dogfighting.  And win or lose, the sex afterwards is way better.

[The Sporting Blog] 

The Chief shared the tale of Formula One racing president Max Mosley's Nazi-hooker romp earlier this week, and now Mosley is (GASP!) suing the British tabloid that originally published the story:

"I was the victim of a disgusting conspiracy. It goes without saying that the so-called Nazi element is pure fabrication, . . . Many people do things in their bedrooms or have personal habits which others find repugnant. But as long as they keep them private, nobody objects . . .I don't think any of this should affect my work on motoring safety, the environment or the sport. I believe that 21st century adults do not worry about private sexual matters as long as they are legal and harmless," the 67-year-old Mosley said.

Here, here! Well said old chap. Lord knows I wouldn't want anyone to see the things I do in the privacy of my bedroom. The events of those activities are strictly for me, the special lady I've paid for chosen that evening, and, I suppose, Donny – the guy who sleeps in the bunk underneath mine at the YMCA. I enjoy my privacy just like Mr. Mosley, I guess that's why I never videotape myself doing something untoward. Anyway, Mosley's response is pretty standard and mildly funny, but if you think I just posted this to look at more pictures of a bound and NSFW Lisa Boyle . . . you're absolutely correct. -KD 

Don't know who Max Mosley is?  Let me get you caught up: he's the head of Formula One racing whose father was a noted Nazi sympathizer during World War II.  Max enjoyed a nice little five-hour S&M orgy with five hookers, which actually sounds like a lot of fun, if a little heavy on torture/foreplay.  The part that was maybe a little unwise was MAKING A TAPE OF THE ENTIRE THING.  After shelling out $5000, Mosley stood a concentration camp-style inspection.  Fail a hooker's inspection?  Ohhh, that's a paddlin':

Mosley was then bent over and strapped naked to a leather torture bench. The muscular blonde dealt him 15 savage blows. Towards the end Mosley was whimpering and gasped for breath. Reddened and bruised, he then received a further six strokes with a cane.

His flogging over, he left the room before saying, "Thank you, mistress". After having his wounds dressed, Mosley makes the transformation from masochist to sadist. Now fully clothed, he bends two blonde girls over the whipping bench, their striped concentration camp-style uniform bottoms yanked down to expose their buttocks.[...]

At one point the wrinkled 67-year-old… yells "she needs more of ze punishment!" while brandishing a LEATHER STRAP over a brunette's naked bottom… With each blow, the girl yelps in pain as grinning, grey-haired Mosley becomes clearly aroused. And after the beating, he makes her perform a sex act on him.

You know, you hear too many stories of people just getting a hooker, having plain ol' sex, and going about their day.  I like Mosley's style.  If you're gonna pay for it, hey, live a little.  Splurge on those Nazi hookers.  It may seem pricey, but they're gonna give you a really efficient orgy.

This was lost in the shuffle of bikini-wearing WAGs and naked cheerleaders yesterday, but it's worth pointing out that FOX News commentator/yapcunt Laura Ingraham laid into Brett Favre for his emotional display at the press conference during which he announced his retirement. 

[Ingraham said,] "All these years, and I didn't know there was a woman quarterback in the NFL… Brett Favre…we're watching this in the studio, obviously retiring from the NFL, great quarterback, handsome 38-year-old man, he gets up there and he does this press conference that was frankly one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen."

"That's a great message for young boys. 'Get up there and act like a girl and start blubbering like a baby.'"

Then, in her best impersonation of a crying toddler with its favorite toy taken away, she wah-wah-wah's while uttering in a mocking tone, "It's about me, it was never about me, but it is about me, bla, bla, bla" before returning to her regular voice and stating, "I could not believe what I was seeing."

You know, every time I think With Leather goes too far in encouraging sexism and promoting an inaccurate, unfair portrayal women, a woman on FOX News steps up and totally shows me how it's really done.

[FanHouse]