More than 500 bums, hobos, transients, tramps, and the “socially marginalized” from 48 countries have gathered in Paris, France for the 9th annual Homeless Cup games. Yes, it is exactly what you think – homeless people playing soccer. However, these aren’t the meth-addled, schizophrenic dumpster-divers that you and I have grown to loathe and avoid eye contact with. These are down-on-their-luck men and women with a collective goal of ending global homelessness. You know, low aspirations.

I have to admit, when I first read about this yesterday while eating diamond-encrusted lobster and wiping my mouth with hundred dollar bills, I pictured a more barbaric, Thunderdome-esque competition, with discarded food being thrown into the arena to encourage violence. But it’s actually a pretty nice looking event.

In fact, it reminds me of a similar idea that I had last year. *cue wavy dream flashback sequence*

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Presumably to get homeless people to do other things besides performing sex acts for drugs, making creative signage to solicit change, getting shot by marauding psychopaths and dying of starvation and AIDS, some do-gooders are getting them together, confiscating their hobo knives and making them play soccer. Jeebus, I thought you were trying to help these people.

A team of six homeless men and their coach are heading to Washington, DC next week to attend a national soccer tournament. The "Entourage" will be the first soccer team to represent Texas in the Homeless USA Cup.

Volunteer coach Sabelyn Pussman says the team is made of of men ranging in age from 49 to 17 years old. She says only one of her players had ever played soccer before joining the team, however, she says, "they've gotten substantially better" on the field and off.

Pussman says George Washington University will be hosting the national tournament and providing a place for the 12 teams from around the country to stay.

Makes sense that if you're going to put up a bunch of vagrants at the most expensive college in the country, you should stick them with an appropriately douchey nickname in an effort to fit in. Trustifarians will immediately gravitate to their new brahs, strike up a conversation about the new series of the HBO show, get shived and die in front of Smith Point. The rich brats are dead and the homeless people have money for booze. Gosh, maybe these organizations do make a difference.