I wish I was half as good at anything as Terrell Owens thinks he is at life. The wideout failed to amass 1,000 yards receiving for the second consecutive season, but the 37-year-old has never been one to let facts get in the way of a good boasting, whether it’s regarding football or his plans for when his playing days are over.

“I’ll be in Hollywood on the big screen,” he told FOX411′s Pop Tarts at the Grey Goose Lounge Super Bowl soiree in Dallas, TX last weekend. “I did a comedy this past summer called ‘Dysfunctional Friends’ (co-starring Stacey Dash and Stacy Keibler) with a great cast, hopefully that’s a stepping stone for more work.”[..]

But before leaving the NFL for the bright lights of Hollywood, Owens has one important goal. In true T.O style, he wants to switch teams (again) to one that “will actually win the Super Bowl.”

–Fox News, via Ben Maller.

Terrell Owens will never play on a Super Bowl team, because you are a pompous ass that has yet to realize that the game has passed you by, and any decent organization with a shot at postseason glory will pass on you because you’re locker room cancer. And yet you come out of Buffalo and Cincinnati — unquestionably the two most poorly-run organizations in the NFL — thinking that you smell sweeter than a rose. I wish you’d think about some less egotistical career options, Terrell. Like “Foreign news correspondent in Egypt,” perhaps.

When Hollywood studios aren’t insulting us with films based on Candyland and Where’s Waldo?, they’re making terrible sports movies about dogs that can play football and Freddie Prinze Jr. throwing like Jim Abbott’s niece. And the latest sports-related movie idea receiving a green light is the Madden Curse. That’s right, EA is making a movie about a running joke based on coincidence. Why not?

So is this film going to be professional football’s Final Destination, as some magical force stalks elite players, ending their careers in their prime? No. Not at all. Instead, it will focus on a retired video game champion. Seriously.

Specific details concerning the plot remain sketchy, but EA VP Pat O’Brien reportedly said, “The story will follow a former ‘Madden’ video game champion who is forced out of retirement just as he finds himself on the corner of the game’s cover — and subject to the curse.” (Via Switched)

Hold on, the guy comes out of retirement because for some reason EA put him on the cover of Madden? The Madden Curse involves active players who have stellar, MVP-type seasons only to be injured the next season and never play at that elite level again. So why does the guy come out of retirement? Is he afraid that he’ll break his thumbs in a freak Call of Duty accident? Perhaps the main character could spend the entire film insisting that he’ll stay retired but then unretiring. And he can text a picture of his penis to Olivia Munn. Lord knows I’d like to.

A look back at the history of the Madden Curse after the jump…

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The Arizona Cardinals are coping with big changes this preseason, as former first round draft pick Matt Leinart is now the starting quarterback and young receivers like Steve Breaston and Early Doucet are stepping up since Anquan Boldin was traded to the Baltimore Ravens in the offseason. Meanwhile, Kurt Warner is dealing with life as a civilian now that his days as an off-and-on elite NFL QB are over. Yes, life’s much simpler now for the former Ram, Giant and Cardinal, as he’s left to ponder what he and his once-Gozerian wife Brenda will do with their twilight years.

Kurt’s first paying retirement gig has been as a broadcaster for the Iowa Barnstormers Arena Football franchise, as he was inducted into the AFL Hall of Fame in May. Warner also played for the Barnstormers before becoming a NFL feel-good story and Super Bowl MVP for the St. Louis Rams. And that feel-good story is now the center of so many possibilities for the Warner family, which includes his seven children. Or as Travis Henry calls it – amateur hour.

The next time someone asks if Kurt Warner’s a god, you say yes, Pro Football Talk:

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