What’s better than championship sports anthems? Championship sports anthems recorded in round 2 of the playoffs! Meet ‘Pesky Back,’ the Ottawa Senators-themed parody of Justin Timberlake’s ‘Sexy Back.’ Nothing says “we’re the team for this year” quite like a song from 2006!

Here is another ditty… The folks at CTV Morning Live Ottawa do another video to help cheer on the Ottawa Senators as they take on the Pittsburgh Penguins in Round Two of the 2013 Stanley Cup Playoffs!

Here is the song. I apologize in advance.

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I love hockey, but I’m from the American south, so I’ll occasionally try to say “Kyosti Karjalainen” or whatever and have it come out sounding like a garbage truck. It happens.

Here’s Jimmy Fallon handing out NHL award superlatives on ‘Late Night With Jimmy Fallon’ and garbage trucking everybody. Some of the awards are funny — Raffi Torres winning “Most Likely To Remove His Eye And Show It To You” was particularly wonderful — but yeah, I think the joy of the segment is assuming Jimmy said “no, I’ll be fine” to the NBC hockey rep with phonetic flash cards and muddling his way through the names on the fly. I’m surprised Chris Neil didn’t end up as “Crass Nail.”

The clip is after the jump. Warning: yes, he does snicker at several of his own jokes, so be okay with that going in.

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If you like crazy youth hockey fights, you’ll be happy to know that the “Russia” modifier adds the right amount of crazy. (h/t to My Sports Rumors)

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Links

Music Video Breakdown: ‘Sexy People (The FIAT Song)’ By Arianna ft. Pitbull |UPROXX|

Pop-Pop Gets A Treat? Visiting The ‘Arrested Development’ Bluth Banana Stand In New York |Warming Glow|

Detroit’s Robocop Statue is Coming Together |Film Drunk|

Bryce Harper Tweeted His Graphic Toe Injury |With Leather|

The Bat Tumbler Is Now Real And Totally Street Legal |Gamma Squad|

10 Instances of Angela Simmons Looking Gloriously Thick |Smoking Section|

NFL Analyst Power Rankings (Official) #10- Mike and Mike |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Last night, as my beloved (when it’s convenient) St. Louis Blues were allowing the Los Angeles Kings to score two goals in the third period and even the series at 2-2 in the process, one of my favorite women in all of show business was not only attending that game, but she was also live-Tweeting the experience, as it was her first ever NHL game. That woman is Retta, who plays the wonderful Donna on Parks and Rec, and she was also the comedienne who delivered my favorite coverage for the 2012 Summer Olympics in Tweet form.

At that time, I pleaded with NBC through Twitter and telepathy to assign Retta to full-time Olympic coverage and now I’m asking the embattled home of my favorite TV show (Parks and Rec, obviously) to let her be an analyst for the rest of the NHL’s Stanley Cup Playoffs. I guarantee it would increase ratings by at least one person. That person being me. Hey, it beats the crap out of me making endless jokes about not knowing what channel the games are on.

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“Boston Strong” emerged as a motto for a city shaken by the terrorist bombings at the Boston Marathon. You may recall seeing that ribbon projected onto the ice during the incredible mass-singing of the Star-Spangled Banner before the 4/17 Bruins/Sabres game or hanging around while David Ortiz declared Boston “our f**king city.” It’s not about politics, and it’s especially not about sports … it’s about coming together and soldiering through any adversity forced upon you by the sickest people in the world, because you’re strong, and that’s all you can be.

I reiterate, it is not about sports.

Canada did not get that memo. Please direct your attention to Monday’s NHL Easter Conference quarterfinals game 3 between the Boston Bruins and the Toronto Maple Leafs, wherein a Leafs fan though it would be totally kosher to bring a Boston Strong parody sign. Again, just so I can make sure I’m typing this correctly, a hockey fan thought it would be awesome to make a parody ribbon and announce that “liking the Toronto Maple Leafs” is stronger than “rebuilding your city after an act of terror.”

Here you go:

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This is what happens when you get hit and your face makes a beeline for the ice.

The guy in an Olympic-sized pool of his own blood is Lars Eller of the Montreal Canadiens. He was minding his own business when Ottawa’s Eric Gryba decided to paint a beautiful portrait on the ice in the medium of broken nose. He also used a touch of “concussion” and heavy strokes of “making a dude faceplant against his will.”

Here’s a fairly graphic clip of the hit, courtesy of Hockey Video HD, assuming you’d like to see the blood actually leaving his face.

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