One of the best perks of this gig, behind only working in my underwear and making Photoshops of Channing Tatum, is that people often send me very strange links, images and videos under the assumption that I’m into that kind of stuff. And they’re almost always right, because I love crazy sh*t. Then sometimes people also send me porn and it’s too strange, because it just is.

Right in the middle of that spectrum, though, is an email I received the other day from a reader who insisted I get hip to the world of “Hooping”. It seems that there is a whole world out there of competitive and freestyle hula hoops that I have never been even the slightest bit aware of, and it’s probably because I’m not a hippy. Specifically, I’m not a female hippy with dreadlocks. As always, though, I’m trying hard not to judge people, even when they follow up emails about competitive “Hooping” with hooping porn. But again, I’m not judging.

That said, my curiosity for hooping sent me on one of my classic YouTube and Tumblr journeys and I ended up falling into a wormhole that I almost never came out of. What I came back with is a collection of mostly SFW videos and GIFs that are downright hypnotic. Seriously, if this hooping thing is a cult, I could totally see how people could fall for it.

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Everyone take a seat. We’re going to stray from our typical topics of dick jokes and boob praise in order to have a serious conversation about social injustices. Homeless people exist, my friends. No matter how much we try to look at the ground or pretend that we’re looking at a really interesting thing in the sky when we pass them, homeless people are real and they need to be treated with respect as human beings. Even the homeless dudes who sell drugs outside my local library or the ones inside that library watching porn – they all deserve their dignity.

That’s why ideas like the now defunct “HoboJacket” are supposedly bad for humanity. What exactly is HoboJacket? The philanthropy’s founder, MIT student Jin Pan, explains that it is “a competitive platform where you can donate your rival college’s jackets and shirts to the unfortunate because it’s terribly unfortunate that people actually went to that other college.”

For example, I hate Marshall, so I would donate some Herd gear and $10 to HoboJacket and it would serve two purposes: 1) A person who needs warm clothing would get just that; and 2) People would see a homeless person wearing a Marshall jacket. Basically, because homeless people are all dirty with their big beards, crazy eyes and B.O., this would be embarrassing for Marshall fans.

Now, imagine how this idea has gone over with social activists. Go ahead and check the HoboJacket website for yourself. Yeah, it’s gone over about as well as a fart in a spacesuit.

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And now for your sort of creepy but also sort of touching story of the day… California dude Dana McGregor originally adopted his pet goat, Goatee, so she could chomp on the foliage around his home. But then he grew to love Goatee as a pet, so he started taking the nanny goat places with him, like most people would with a dog. This included trips to San Onofre State Beach, where he eventually taught Goatee how to surf with him, as you can see in the above image from their surf excursion this past Wednesday.

While I’m not quite sure how it happened – if Goatee was already preggers or if McGregor found her a goat stud – Goatee eventually gave birth to a billy goat named Pismo. Of course, McGregor taught Pismo how to surf, too, because why not? So we now have stories, pictures, and videos of surfing dogs and goats, which closes yet another chapter in my long, thorough novel, “Why Cats are the Most Useless, Meaningless Little Balls of Allergy Death on the Planet”. Available this fall in paperback.

After the jump, check out McGregor’s special tribute to Goatee, The Surfing Goat, Goatee & Me.

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In news that Antonio Cromartie and Travis Henry could appreciate, we’re apparently in the middle of International Cloth Diaper Awareness Week, which is a lead-in to Super Duper Hippie Time Earth Day on Sunday. But Saturday is the big day for the diaper dandies, as thousands of mothers and defeated fathers will gather in 302 cities across 16 countries for the Great Cloth Diaper Change. If you need me, I’ll be one town over for the Great Hold Your Nose and Don’t Vomit Party.

Last year, the Great Diaper Change set a Guinness World Record when 5,026 cloth diapers were changed at the exact same time. God, I hope one of those babies was wearing a “Who farted?” shirt. So why the big stink?

“Each year billions of disposable diapers enter landfills where it takes hundreds of years for them to decompose, if ever,” says Heather McNamara, Executive Director of the Real Diaper Association, a nonprofit that advocates for cloth diapers. “Building off the success of last year’s event with 127 locations in five countries, we plan to show the entire world that cloth diapers are a real option for today’s modern families, particularly catching the eye of expecting and new parents who may be seeking more planet-friendly and affordable alternatives to disposable diapers.” (Via Market Watch)

On one hand, we have our beloved environment to think about. On the other hand, a whole lotta baby poop. This is truly our generation’s greatest debate. It’s also just a reason for me to post a picture of a baby from last year’s diaper change because he’s wearing a Wu Tang t-shirt. I wasn’t aware that Danger Guerrero had a child.

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Over the weekend, while we were busy with more important things like Tiger Woods’ knee, Peyton Manning’s jet and Dwight Howard’s flip flops, people were gathering in major cities across the globe to help preserve a better future for our billionaire athletes and us to live in. On Saturday, hipsters galore shed their clothes for the World Naked Bike Ride to raise awareness for various global issues, including oil and fossil fuel dependency, traffic safety and, of course, stone cold nudity.

So what better way for cyclists to tell drivers they’re fed up with being struck and killed in traffic than by risking their droops and sags being caught in spokes and chains? At least that’s what more than 300 people in Peru did, as they brought awareness to the 3,000 cyclists who were killed in Peru in 2009. And all 9 of the New Zealanders who rode for clean air. Come on, New Zealand, you’re better than that.

Anyway, this was one rabbit hole of pictures I was not prepared for. Maybe next year I’ll join in ride to raise awareness that nobody wants to see a bunch of old hippies’ penises. Until then, enjoy some SFW highlights from around the world.

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Over the weekend, dozens of grown adults gathered in Chicago for the 2011 U.S. Air Guitar Championship, and when the smoke settled and the panties moistened, only one man stood triumphant. This year, that man was Justin Howard, a Chicago native who goes by the air guitar stage name Nordic Thunder.

So what does Mr. Thunder think of his epic victory of awesomeness?

“I love having sex – I mean, most people do, it’s a pleasurable thing. But to be on a stage at the Metro, one of the best venues in all of Chicago, in one of the best cities in all the country, it’s ecstasy at its finest.

“I mean, the energy from the crowd that I was receiving and giving back, it’s just a joyous, awesome, amazing – I don’t know how to put it into words.” (Via The Daily Mail)

You don’t have to, sire. You’ve said what we were already thinking – air guitar is better than sex. And if you don’t believe a guy who pretends to play music for a crowd that doesn’t care that he’s not actually playing music, then you need to take it from the rest of the world, because this air guitar business has been global for years. In fact, Nordic Thunder will represent us peasant cynics on August 26 at the World Air Guitar championship.

Beyond that, the people of WOMAD (World of Music, Arts and Dance) are inviting air guitar enthusiasts from all over this rocking globe to join them at the World Music Festival in England this weekend as they attempt to break the Guinness World Record for largest air guitar performance. The current record stands at 1,883. On Sunday, they want to turn the volume up to 1,884.

After the jump, you can check out the highlights from this year’s U.S. Air Guitar Championship and last year’s World Championship. Girls, try to refrain from throwing your panties at your monitor.

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