Two state high school athletic associations have postponed events after residents in Texas and Alabama were reported stricken with the H1N1 influenza strain that everyone insists on calling swine flu, even though the virus isn’t communicable through ingestion of pork products. Having sex with a pig might do it, but a runny nose would be the least of your worries at that point.
On Tuesday, Texas officials postponed all public high school athletic and academic competitions on Wednesday until May 11 because of the swine flu outbreak.
School officials say 53,000 students are out of school due to concern over the virus, and dozens of schools were closed to be sanitized. With 16 confirmed cases of swine flu in Texas, Gov. Rick Perry announced a disaster declaration Wednesday for the entire state.
Wouldn’t it be so much trendier to catch a flu bug called “H1N1?” It’s sounds like the name of one of those clubs in Manhattan. You could have people on a velvet rope outside waiting to get infected. It’s not like the virus actually came from pigs. I had a pizza with bacon on it for dinner last night, and yet I’m still alive. But then again I wasn’t not drinking out of some toilet in Mexico, either.
Jeremy Tyler (another video here) must have been too busy ballin’ to catch any of those Stay In School ads, because he’s skipping his senior year of high school to play ball in Europe. Y! Sports reports that Tyler and his father are assembling a management team and fielding offers from teams in Spain, Italy, and Israel.
Good for him. If he can see another part of the world at his age and concentrate on the one thing that will actually pay his bills for the rest of his life, why shouldn’t he? Everyone’s all, “No, he should stay in school and get his education.” Because basketball players are infinitely more educated after spending one semester in college. Hey, if you clowns want to see college athletes getting paid, we’ll need about 10 or 15 more of these guys to jump across the pond. It won’t happen just from your groused, plebian idealism, no matter how many times you call into Tirico and Van Pelt.
|as first seen on The Hoop Doctors|
Last week, we linked to a story about a high school pitcher who had thrown three no-hitters in a row. Well, when you stretch that streak to four, you get your own post. Patrick Schuster is the pitcher in question, a 6′3″, 175-pound Tampa-area lefthander who struck out 17 hitters en route to a state-record fourth consecutive no-no.
Schuster’s streak began April 3. He’s piled up 60 strikeouts in the four games, helping Mitchell to a 19-3 record. He’s 7-0 on the season. [Google]
In 53 innings pitched this season, Schuster (8-0) has 110 strikeouts and a 0.73 ERA. He hasn’t been bad at the plate, either, posting a .424 batting average and 17 RBI. [baynews9]
I get a weird feeling this kid might have a chance at playing professional ball someday. I also get a weird feeling I can’t describe when I look at him, which is probably why I’m not allowed within 300 feet of any school grounds.
This might be a couple weeks old, but it’s still another float in the parade of questionable judgement in high school coaching continues, so here it is. We go to, ironically enough, the Beaver State of Oregon. Michael Todd (not pictured), who was the baseball coach at Portland Lincoln High School, resigned from that position after school administrators learned that he allegedly took three students to a strip club on a team trip in San Francisco.
From The Oregonian:
Two volunteer coaches who went to the strip club also resigned Friday, Cowie said. Their identities were not released, and Cowie said he did not know the coaches’ relationship to team members or the Southwest Portland school.
The strip-club incident was reported to school officials by students who had heard about it from baseball team members, Cowie said.
The resignation comes six weeks after another Lincoln coach, David Adelman, was arrested on accusations of driving under the influence of intoxicants.
Adelman, the boys’ basketball coach and son of Houston Rockets coach Rick Adelman, remains on staff pending disciplinary measures. Most people would say that the DUI is so much worse than taking high-school aged kids someplace they’d probably end up anyway, but strips clubs are no place for young adults. You know how much a Diet Coke is in a strip club?! It’s like five bucks! Is that the kind of thing we really want our kids to be around?
It kinda blows my mind that local government spent five months investigating this thing. But then, here I am, looking at this woman’s picture and typing this up with one hand. This is from Matteson, Illinois, in case anyone wants to drive by her house later.
Sarah L. Tolzien, 24, of Arlington Heights, was charged Tuesday after a five-month investigation, Matteson police said. Her bail was set at $10,000 Wednesday and her next court hearing is April 15 at the Cook County Courthouse in Markham.
Tolzien, who teaches English and coaches the boys varsity cross country team at Rich South High School in Richton Park, was placed on administrative leave Dec. 1, police said.
I guess she gave him a couple rides home…and then gave him a couple rides home. The kid was 16, which means he pretty much has the worst parents ever. Seriously, cockblocked by your own parents? They were probably all like, “We know what’s best for you,” which is obviously not true. Is either one of them hitting that? I rest my case, your honor.
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When people talk about allegations of “hazing,” it makes one typically think of some poor asshole’s house getting toilet-papered or maybe having to scrape shaving cream off the front of his locker. This latest incident involving the Woodland Hills (CA) Taft High School boys’ volleyball team…this doesn’t really sound like hazing. From KTLA:
Eleven students claim they were hazed by their peers, but none sought medical treatment.
[M]any students outside the school Tuesday said it involved suggestive acts with a sex toy….Some students told KTLA they’ve heard rumors that a freshman player was held down in the locker room and sodomized with an object.
The LA Times had an update yesterday:
Six employees at Taft High School were reassigned Tuesday while school district and law enforcement officials investigate an alleged hazing incident in the boys locker room on the Woodland Hills campus…[D]istrict sources said Principal Sharon Thomas and volleyball coach Arman Mercado were among them.[...]
[They] were disciplined because they allegedly did not report the hazing in a timely manner. The incident, which only involved students, was reported to the Los Angeles Police Department on Jan. 30. But top school district officials said they were not aware of the incident until Feb. 17.
Freshmen? I guess they like ‘em older. Once a girl turns 14, she’s totally past her prime. Maybe it’s different with guys. I wouldn’t know, but then I was never as maniacally sexually frustrated at that age. In other words, I never played boys’ volleyball in high school.
