To the untrained eye, soccer is a sport where people with no fight training or impulse control hang out and kick a ball around until one of them overreact and everybody starts brawling. I’m a soccer layman, so if I get any of this wrong, please don’t knock me to the ground or try to stomp my head.

In a U-13 (The Widowmaker!) match between Bahia and Vitoria, Bahia’s goalkeeper kinda-sorta punches a Vitoria strike in the back, so the striker sells it like he’s caught a knee to the chest from Anderson Silva. In retaliation, Bahia takes a Vitoria player to the ground and everyone tries to kick him in the face. Seems totally reasonable! From there, the fight escalates into a team versus team affair with everyone running in from off-screen to jump and kick indiscriminately. One guy gets a full-on Power Rangers jump kick to the back and ignores it in favor of running forward and kicking a different guy.

If none of this is soccer and I’ve misidentified a capoeira video, I apologize. That said, it’d be pretty awesome if other sports would handle flopping like this. Next time Blake Griffin goes down holding his eye, everyone on the court should get to boot him in the dome.

As an added bonus (so you don’t think Americans don’t play soccer exactly like this), here’s a clip of a Utah high school student pulling off a Million Dollar Man knee-lift during a soccer game.

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Sandwiched between Gangnam Style parodies on The Daily What is the inspirational story of high school goalkeeper Daniel Cui, a kid who turned soccer futility into 10th grade popularity, and eventually into an advertisement about how Facebook changes peoples’ lives.

After freshman goalie Daniel Cui became the scapegoat for a losing season, the whole high school rallied to defend him. More than 100 students changed their profile pictures to a photo of Cui making a save and with newfound confidence, Cui returned the next season to play the game of his life and lead his team to a win.

An outpouring of support on social media isn’t exactly a bunch of kids helping a kid with spastic CP conquer Field Day or anything, but it’s heartwarming as hell, and a step in the right direction for everybody. And sure, it could be a pure marketing campaign and as legit as those FACEBOOK’S GONNA START CHARGING YOU IN NOVEMBER, CLICK HERE TO LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF chain letters, but I like to think we live in a world where seemingly-isnignificant but personally-amazing stuff like this happens on the reg.

I also hope this predates Linsanity, because I don’t want this poor kid walking into 11th grade wearing an ExCUIsite! t-shirt.