Important News: Eagles Number One Woo

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.11.12

As the title mentions, KHQ sports anchor Sam Adams — no stranger to drunk people, I guess — got kissed on live television. But the most important thing you should take away from this video is that the Eagles are number one, and woo. EAGLES NUMBER ONE WOO (via Hot Clicks)

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Links

EAGLES NUMBER ONE WOOLet’s Take A Quick Look Around Anna Kendrick’s New And Geeky Instagram Account, Shall We? |UPROXX|

Louis C.K. Considers His Greatest Achievement To Be Having Sex With A Girl From Oklahoma |Warming Glow|

‘Most Outrageous Baby Names Of 2012′ List Takes On ‘Hunger Games’ Fans |Film Drunk|

My Psychic Told Me Caroline Wozniacki Have A Ass Like Serena |With Leather|

New ‘South Park: The Stick Of Truth’ Trailer Has Not Decreased Our Excitement At All |Gamma Squad|

25 Great Back-And-Forth Raps |Smoking Section|

Larry The Cable Guy Ruined A Man’s Sunday Night In Lambeau |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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15 Super Famous Actors Who You May Not Have Known Played Football

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.15.12

On Tuesday night, UPROXX’s beloved clown prince and star of Community, Joel McHale, stopped by Conan to discuss how NBC might eventually air the final season of Community, as well as his brief and underwhelming stint on Sons of Anarchy. And I’m so relieved right now, because that opening sentence has so many of my favorite things that I never get to talk about here because Maske, Kurp and Danger get to have all the fun over at Warming Glow.

Of course, plenty of other sites picked up on McHale’s always-charming interview and one little nugget of information seemed to have caught a lot of bloggers and interwebbers by surprise – McHale played tight end for the Washington Huskies and even has a ring from U-Dub’s 1992 Rose Bowl victory over Michigan. And when I read all of the surprised, “Why I never!” reactions, I was like, “Hey, I knew that.”

I only knew it, though, because I remembered reading something on ESPN.com recently that I actually enjoyed. Back in August, ESPN’s Charles Curtis kicked off the series “How Good Was He?” which was a phenomenal idea that seemed to have died several weeks later with “How Good was 2 Chainz at Basketball?”, but I hope there will be more. In fact, let’s consider this short feature a little kick in the pants for ESPN’s Playbook to get back to these enjoyable interviews.

It turns out that a lot of famous actors actually have roots in football, and I’m not just talking about crossover legends like Alex Karras and Bubba Smith (rest their souls) or humiliating one-and-done guys like Howie Long and Brian Bosworth. You may read this and say, “Eh, nothing new” but several of these famous actors who used to play football actually surprised me.

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Do You Believe In Localized High School Football Miracles? YEARGHHHH

Written by Brandon Stroud / 11.07.12

Boylen football come from behind winHere at With Leather, the Illinois state football playoffs are the most important thing in the world. The list goes Illinois state football playoffs, family, the economy, Kate Upton outtakes, world hunger. Rockford Boylan High was looking for a second round win against Oak Park Fenwick High en route to their third consecutive Class 7A state title, but down by seven with 10 seconds left in the game, it looked like all hope was lost. What happened next was the stuff of legends, and thankfully myself and Ashley Burns were on hand to provide commentary. At least I think that’s us. I don’t remember being in Illinois, but … well, whatever.

In a play that gives you an Al Bundy-level of high school football glory, Boylan’s Peter Cimino returned a punt 90 yards for a dramatic, come-from-behind touchdown with no time left on the clock. Boylan lined up for two and pulled off an amazing 22-21 victory. It’s every bit as great as it sounds.

All the while, the two guys calling the game went through an experience I can only describe as the MY GOD IT’S FULL OF STARS moment from 2001: A Space Odyssey in high school football form. You have never heard two more excited guys. They don’t know what to say so they just start saying sports stuff. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES. DO YOU. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THOSE MIRACLES! YES, YES I DO BELIEVE IN THAT. BLEARGHHHH MIRACLES! It’s infectious.

My only complaint is that the 2-point conversion is a little anti-climactic. Can we teach the guy manning the JVC Slim Cam how to shoot an endzone dive in slow motion?

[via Prep Rally]

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If This Snap Interception Ends Up In A Cell Phone Commercial, I Swear To God

Written by Brandon Stroud / 11.01.12

Snap interception

What you’re about to watch happened (allegedly) during a football game between two Kansas high schools — Dodge City and Garden City. Garden City center Mitch Morris went for a close snap instead of a shotgun snap and lobbed the ball high into the air, allowing Dodge City wide receiver and defensive back Immanuel Galloway to skirt the line, catch it on the way down and run it across an open field for an easy touchdown. It’s amazingly rare and hilarious, and should be seen.

The reason I say “allegedly” is because of a horrible lesson I learned last week when a clip of an unidentified high school player front flipping over his defender “went viral” and was actually an undercover AT&T commercial. The way new media works, I’m afraid to post ANYTHING. If Yao Ming goes golfing and his swing looks bad, there’s a 40% chance he’s doing it for Verizon. It’s terrible. So please watch and enjoy the clip, but keep in mind that a cell phone company or wireless carrier could’ve funded two phony “Kansas” high schools (how are we supposed to fact check that?), orchestrated an entire football game and relied on the best clips to get it spread around by jerks like me.

Also, stick to the stuff immediately after the 2:13 mark, because the rest of the video is full of the worst music. The worst licensed music.

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Teenagers Won’t Stop Kicking Footballs Spectacularly

Written by Brandon Stroud / 11.01.12

Following in the footsteps of the 8th grader who kicked a 63-yard field goal in practice and a high-schooler connecting from 67 yards out in a game is this clip of a Florida teen punting a football as well as you’ll ever see it punted. Somebody should sign all of them and put them into a weird teenage football-kicking Legion Of Doom. (via Bush League Chronicle)

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Links

96-yard punt‘Zombie Dad’ Is Today’s Halloween Thing You Should Know About |UPROXX|

Tracy Morgan Blames Mitt Romney For Hurricane Sandy |UPROXX|

NBC’s Midseason Schedule Changes A Reminder Of Why NBC Is Terrible |Warming Glow|

Rumors of Daniel Day-Lewis’s method acting have been scarcely exaggerated |Film Drunk|

Introducing The Guest Ring Girls For UFC On Fuel 6: Franklin Vs. Le |With Leather|

Four Recently Discovered Planets That Are Ideal Horror Movie Settings |Gamma Squad|

Mannie Fresh Revisits The Hot Boys’ “Get It How U Live” 15 Years Later |Smoking Section|

Here Is An Awkward One-Minute Interview With Patrick Willis |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Bro Wanders On To High School Football Field, Begs To Be Pummeled, Promptly Is

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.30.12

Last Friday night, 9-0 Placer high school of Auburn, California defeated 4-5 Colfax 24-7 in a much-hyped revenge game, and that’s fun because, Yay sports! But the real entertainment was actually provided by a random shirtless bro who stumbled onto to the high school football field at some point, because he had a bottle of water and wanted to make sure everybody saw how well he could pour it all out. Either that, or he’s a viral fashion marketer and he wanted everyone to see his hot, new style – belt-off low-rise jeans. Those are the only possible reasons I can think of as to why this bro would walk on to a football field during a game.

Well, I guess maybe he could just be an a-hole. Either way, he’s an a-hole in a lot of pain, because as you’ll see in the video after the jump, there’s pretty much only one response you should expect if people think you’re threatening them at a high school.

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