We apologize for that headline. The person who wrote it has been sacked.

Last year, 16-year-old Texas cheerleader Miranda Ferguson did 20 back-handsprings. No big d. She thought she could do more, so she focused up, and this year broke the world record with a senses-(and wrist)-shattering 35 consecutive handsprings. It all went down on Friday night with Guinness Book of World Records representatives on hand to make it official, and with a learned sports blogger’s perspective, I can say objectively that she did a f**king shitload of handsprings.

According to Miranda, it was not her incredible athleticism, coordination or 45-pound frame that helped her pull off the record, it was THE FANS. Without THE FANS, she never could’ve done it. You watch too much MTV Movie Awards, Miranda, you did that by yourself and no amount of people cheering me on could will me into ONE successful handspring, let alone 35 in a row.

Video is below.

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Miami Dolphins cheerleader Lilly Robbins is always relevant.

This past Saturday, the first annual Louisiana High School Athletic Association Cheer and Dance Competition was held in Lake Charles, LA and I can only assume that the spirit fingers were in full effect. The first event drew an impressive 1,302 competitors, but almost a week later, it’s not the cheerleaders that we’re talking about. Nope, it was just one insanely intense cheer mom that stole the entire show and became an instant star.

The unnamed mom, who was at the competition cheering on her daughter from Archbishop Hannan High School, has done little to squash the stereotype that parents of young, competitive girls are insane, but I’m pretty glad that we have women like this in our lives. In fact, I think YouTube user “capita01” sums up my feelings best with this comment:

“i want her to step on my balls.”

Truer words have never been said. Video after the jump.

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That looker to the right is 50-year old Rafael Escamilla, a Florida resident who was recently on his way to Lewiston, Idaho to visit family, when he took a slight detour to jail. Escamilla was seated next to a 17-year old female high school cheerleader on his flight and she has accused him of masturbating next to her. Escamilla, however, denies the ludicrous charge, as he simply explained to authorities that he spilled Tobasco sauce in his lap and he was massaging and scratching his genitals because of the pain. Responded every other accused pervert on Earth, “Oh that’s a good one, bro.”

The girl reported that Escamilla whipped it out under his seatback tray and used one hand for his laptop computer and his other hand for his… itching. She then moved her seat and told another passenger that the guy sitting next to her had her “creeped” out. The passenger responded by masturbating, too. OK, not really, but wouldn’t that make an awesome “Twilight Zone” episode?

A little lower, Smoking Gun… no lower… LOWER… yeah, that’s the spot…

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