There’s nothing Taiwan loves more than an American high school sex scandal. Sure, they love giving Kevin Durant lightning powers or animating Tim Tebow on the cross, but they’re at their tactless best when turning a complexly-emotional story of abuse into a video about rimjobs.
Much in the same way their Bengals cheerleader scandal video had Sarah Jones get a big “INDICTED” stamped over her vagina, Next Media Animation shares the story of Shelbyville High School cheerleading coach Megan Crafton’s sexual relationship with a 17-year old student by animating a hard-on and having Megan walk across a table in a bikini with a big sign that says CONSENT. It gets torn up, but I won’t spoil the reasons why. There’s information to be had, people.
Check out the video below. It’s worth it for the shot of her draining three-pointers and getting chased away by a ghost.
Full court alleys-oop happen from time to time, but as a buzzer beater? I’m not sure what was on the line in this Vinita, Oklahoma, high school game and I’m not even sure about the score — the scoreboard makes it look like it’s 40-5 — but a clock-manipulating bounce pass (it’s not gonna start until someone touches the ball) off the inbound to a guy downcourt is the raddest whether they won the game with it or not.
Of course, the major issue of the video is the terrible defense, so if it was actually 40-5 I wouldn’t be shocked.
This clip comes to us courtesy of Clay from Club 93.7, who very appropriately play Today’s Hottest Jamz. If a hot jam ever necessitated a Z, it’s this one.
Event Recap: NY Giants Super Bowl XLVI Victory Celebration - The best part was when Mark Sanchez showed up. At least that’s what I assume happened. [Smoking Section]
Funny, Sexy And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - Be sure to check out my cameo in yesterday’s cosplay gallery. Yes, I am nerdy enough to be Hooded Justice for Halloween. [Gamma Squad]
Lindsay Lohan Is Taking This Modeling Thing Seriously - … or at least she’s settled into a nice position as “lady with big boobs who smokes and people take pictures”. There are entire fetish tubes for that. [Smoking Section]
Ten TV Relationships That Should Never Happen. Ever. - I don’t agree with this list. I think Jim absolutely SHOULD cheat on Pam with Vanilla False Pam and become the Big Bad of the show. [Warming Glow]
Trailer: Bourne’s Legacy Gets Renner’d - One day America’s gonna wake up and say “oh my God, Jeremy Renner’s face“. [Film Drunk]
10 Morphing GIFs That Will Have You Seeing Double - This gallery has really spot-lit the fact that Orlando Bloom’s head is the size of a lima bean. [UPROXX]
25 Animals Who Think They’re People - Be the baby, kitty. BE THE BABY! [Buzzfeed]
The Funniest Anti-Gay Counter-Protests - If you hate gay people enough to make a condescending posterboard sign about it, stop picketing funerals and go to a pro wrestling show. [HuffPost Comedy]
Movies That Should Get the 3D Treatment - This should be a link to a blank white page. The only movies that should exist in 3D are Hugo and that Jaws movie coming out in 2015. [Adult Swim]
Nazi Moon Film More Popular Than Angelina Jolie - That’s a solid headline if I’ve ever read one. [Moviefone]
The Best Films You Never Want To See Again - Sorry, Pajiba, I want to see The Godfather at least several more times. Part II as well. Part III I could live without. [Pajiba]
The Phantom Menace Sucks, But These Posters Don’t - They didn’t finish the headline: “…Do Anything To Make Me Want To Pay To See It Again”. [Unreality]
The Girl Who Loves to Eat Plastic Will Haunt Your Dreams - /glares [Brobible]
Like most people, I watch the Super Bowl for the slam dunks.
Thanks to Cameron Smith at Prep Rally, my dream of watching New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski dunk on a bunch of high schoolers with Franz Ferdinand playing in the background has finally come true … turns out that before he was inspiring Twisted Sister covers and making Bibi Jones ply her trade off the clock he was simply a gigantic f**king high schooler who could jump slightly and monster jam it home. Pretty cool.
At least now we know how he managed to graduate. It certainly wasn’t his grades in Spanish.
Justise Winslow is currently only a sophomore at St. John’s School in Houston, but he’s had some significant buzz around his basketball skills since his first games as a freshman. While I wish it was because his father’s name is Carl, it’s actually because he’s a man among boys. At 6-foot-5 and 200 pounds, saying he’s matured faster than his peers would be an understatement. It would be like saying that Eddy Curry is just a faster eater.
But Winslow’s size has obviously allowed him to become a much better basketball player than most high schoolers so he’s already advancing in arrogance and pomposity as well. For instance, Winslow and St. John’s played against Antonian Prep in the St. Thomas Tournament recently and he showed everyone why he is probably the top prep school player in the country, as he dunked all over his terribly mismatched opponent.
Then he showed why he’s a complete dipsh*t by getting ejected for two technicals in five seconds. Basketball never stops and neither does acting like a dumbass at the expense of your team.
It seems like only yesterday the worst thing we had to worry about when it came to high school basketball was a couple kids racing to avoid the ookie cookie. Today, we unfortunately find ourselves taking a 50-year step in the wrong direction, as the entire girl’s basketball team at Kenmore East High School in Buffalo has been suspended over charges of racist behavior.
The team, which was comprised of 9 white girls and one black girl, had a very peculiar warm-up routine, in that they would join hands in a circle and chant, “1… 2… 3…” and the N-bomb. You know what I’m talking about.
“I said, ‘You’re not allowed to say that word because I don’t like that word,’” she told the newspaper. “They said, ‘You know we’re not racist, Tyra. It’s just a word, not a label.’ I was outnumbered.”
The 15-year-old eventually exploded after a practice when a teammate called her a ‘black piece of (expletive).’ She says she got into a fight with the girl later in school.
Yeah, Tyra, you know they’re not racist. They just love to say one of the most notoriously evil words in modern history. It’s like when my intramural flag football team went coed and we asked the girls to learn plays instead of recipes. We meant well and they got mad for no reason at all.
The real joy of this story of ignorance and just flat out stupidity is knowing that Tyra later beat that one girl’s ass, so at least if this news about a bunch of white girls who are an embarrassment to humanity in general makes you as angry as it makes me, you can close your eyes and imagine Tyra snapping her fingers and then snapping a neck.