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This is a few days (and years, if you’re a stickler for details) old, but the folks over at LeBronJames.com posted some scanned images of LeBron James’ stat sheets from his high school seasons, and without a single ounce of shock in the entire world, they reveal that he was a man among boys. The self-anointed King and four-time NBA MVP averaged 18.1 points per game in his freshman season at St. Vincent-St. Mary, and it only got better from there, as he averaged 30.4 ppg by his senior season.

James also recently took a break from steamrolling the NBA Playoffs to donate $1 million to his old high school to renovate the gym that helped make him a household name when he wasn’t even old enough to vote. Hopefully, some of that money includes a giant throne for when he returns to view games. It should have a glass case around it like the Popemobile for good measure, since some people in Ohio are still emotionally unsure of how to feel about James, lingering somewhere between, “TRAITOR! I HOPE YOU’RE EATEN BY BEARS!” and “Maybe he’ll opt out in Miami and come back to Cleveland!”

Either way, his old stats should make even the most confident high school athletes feel like they were in the cast of Freaks and Geeks.

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For ‘Gangnam Style,’ it was Jimmy Johnson. For the ‘Harlem Shake,’ I’m gonna go ahead and call it for Shaquille O’Neal. Shaq did the dance thing that is not the Harlem Shake dance with the Blanche Ely Boys Basketball Team, and it’s the most wonderfully half-assed thing ever. So, congratulations, Shaq. You’ve done it. Give the man a round of applause, everybody. (via Prep Rally)

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Gruden Talk: Jon and Herm Discuss the Sequester With Former White House Chief of Staff Erskine Bowles |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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If you haven’t heard of him already, this is Julian Newman. Sorry, Julian “Handles” Newman. He’s an 11-year old who is so good at basketball they made him stop playing kids his age and play point guard for his local high school’s varsity team. No, seriously, he’s ridiculous.

A video of Newman’s game highlights and dribbling stunts posted in December on YouTube went viral, currently logging nearly 3 million viewers.

Julian, who is only 11, leads the state of Florida in assists per game this season and ranks fifth nationally, according to Maxpreps.com, which maintains statistics on high school sports. The pint-sized prodigy easily shoots three-pointers from the longer-range NBA line and was invited to show off his skills at halftime during an Orlando Magic game. (via Toronto Sun)

That was good enough to get him a spot on ‘Conan,’ which he used to explain his nickname (spoiler: he doesn’t have it because he’s fat), tell the world what he thinks about LeBron James (spoiler: Kobe’s better) and not only defeat Conan in a game of one-on-one, but defeat Conan, Andy Richter and ‘The Big Bang Theory’s’ Kunal Nayyar THREE-on-one (spoiler: ‘The Big Bang Theory’ blows).

Videos of his adorable TV child interview and MONSTER BASKETBALL SKILLS are below.

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When I was in high school, our basketball games and assemblies began with our principal delivering a dry speech about school spirit and sportsmanship, followed by our sub-par cheerleaders making vague “woo” gestures while a bunch of gangly jerks tried to dribble from the entrance to center-court without losing it or hurting themselves. In Florida, high school basketball games begin with TRAMPOLINE DUNKS OVER FIRE. Because Florida.

This clip (by way of Prep Rally, by way of MaxPreps) features Monsignor Edward Pace High School kicking off a consequence-free regular-season game by asking somebody to propel themselves through a pillar of flame. It’s the exact kind of thing that inspires and leads a team to … a 9-20 record?

Who knows? Maybe they spent their athletic budget on a trampoline and a flame thrower. Maybe their coach is just a crazy dude with a book of matches. That seems like the escalation of a joke, but nope, it’s Florida. If the team ran out after this engulfed in flame like in that one ‘Wax’ video I wouldn’t be surprised.

Oh boy, you guys. It’s about to get super dusty up in here.

Kevin Durant further proved that he’s one of the greatest guys on the planet – seriously, he can bounce a ball of a woman’s face and she’ll just laugh – when he joined in the Twitter hashtag campaign #DressNathanOut that some students at Owasso High School in Oklahoma started to get some attention for the their basketball team’s manager, Nathan Mitcham. A special needs student, Mitcham also gained fans in Toby Keith, Carrie Underwood and Johnny Manziel, who all Tweeted the hashtag to help get Mitcham in this past Tuesday’s game against Sand Springs High School.

Based on the outpouring of support and the amazing stories in the aftermath, I don’t think that Mitcham’s playing time was ever in question, but he nevertheless received his coach’s permission to play, and he took the court for the final 3 minutes in Owasso’s 20-point victory that night. And not only did he close out the game, but he also scored 8 points as 2,000 people in a 1,400-capacity arena cheered him on.

God, I love sports so much sometimes.

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Last week, a group of students from California’s Woodcreek High School decided it would be a totally radical and boss idea to pay tribute to Miami Heat superstar LeBron James before their team’s big game against rival Roseville High. The tribute in question was James’ pregame ritual of tossing baby powder into the air, and that’s a fun ritual for James because he is one person tossing one little handful of powder.

You see, when a large group of people chooses to toss many handfuls of powder into the air, bad things can happen. For instance, people who are not expecting a large cloud of white powder to envelope them in a confined space could freak the f*ck out and start a human stampede that results in hundreds of terrified people trampling each other.

Fortunately, the result of this stupid tribute was just good, old-fashioned schadenfreude.

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