Wazzou Football Players Are Budding Entrepreneurs

Written by Ryan Walsh / 10.12.10

wazzouweed

Washington is one of the many states debating the passing of medical marijuana laws, and although recreational use is still illegal, two Washington State football players were undeterred from having 38 plants growing in their basement. You read that right. 38 plants. To get a little context for those who say ‘up with hope, down with dope’ or ‘hugs, not drugs,’ that’s about 38 more plants than you would ever need growing in your basement at any time.

Pullman police arrested redshirt freshman backup linebacker Jamal Atofau and redshirt freshman Andre Barrington, who is academically ineligible this semester, after finding 38 marijuana plants growing in a house they rented with two other men.

Pullman police spokesman Cmdr. Chris Tennant said that while executing an unrelated search warrant, they discovered the marijuana plants growing in a basement room. Later the cops found manufacturing equipment and paraphernalia. All four residents of the house, including the two football players, were arrested. –Sports by Brooks

Although it’s possible that the players had nothing to do with the plants growing in their basement, logic dictates that they probably knew exactly what was going on. If your mom could smell that joint you smoked in your bathroom with the fan on, chances are these guys could “smell the refer from a mile away” as Gucci Mane so eloquently put it.

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Maurice Clarett Is Headed Back to School

Written by Ryan Walsh / 07.27.10

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Maurice Clarett will be headed back to school this summer, when he continues his education at THE Ohio State University. The former freshman sensation was released from prison in April after serving four years of a seven and a half year sentence for aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon. You know, college stuff.

After almost four years in jail, Maurice Clarett is headed back to school … the same school he left after his freshman year. Ohio State confirmed Clarett has been granted enrollment at the university and will start classes this summer.

“Maurice Clarett has been granted re-entry into the Ohio State University, following a review by the College of Education and Human Ecology,” said Jim Lynch, director of media relations for Ohio State.

“This is a surreal feeling to be back at Ohio State in such a supportive environment,” Clarett said in a statement. “I have looked forward to being back in school and I’m doing my best to fit in with other students. I don’t want to be a distraction or nuisance to the football team or to students on campus.”
–USA Today via 10 TV

Who was the guy that got rejected so Maurice could be accepted? A go-getter, I’m sure. His resume must have been written in pencil on a barbeque-sauce-covered Chili’s napkin. Psh Amateurs. My resume is written on a Red Lobster napkin, to distinguish myself as a classy gentleman. Maurice highlights after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

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Nate Montana Is So College, Bro

Written by Ryan Walsh / 07.19.10

belushi_in_animal_houseThere’s nothing quite like the freedom of the first few weeks at college. It’s just you, you’re quirky roommate, and thousands of pairs of new, exotic tits just waiting to be drunkenly fondled in a frat house basement. Nate Montana, son of NFL Hall of Fame quarterback, Joe Montana, took his totally chill pair of Birkenstocks and acoustic guitar to Notre Dame. And unfortunately for him, they don’t take very kindly to underage alcoholic escapades ’round those parts.

According to WNDU-TV in South Bend, eight members of the Notre Dame football program were among the 43 people arrested Friday night for underage drinking at what sounds like one hellacious party.

Nate Montana, 20-year-old son of Joe Montana and the backup to Dayne Crist at quarterback, was one of the eight-man Irish drinking team busted by the Indiana State Excise Police at a South Bend home.

All eight were held overnight at the county jail until their blood alcohol level had dipped below legal levels, the station reported. –CFT via PFT

At this rate, Nate Montana is going to be more Joe Namath than Joe Montana. How did they possibly arrest 43 people? Did they all just stand around and wait to be arrested? God those kids are stupid. Notre Dame needs more slutty Catholic school girls, and less kids who suck at partying. A truly sweet college party after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

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