Continuing in the great tradition of Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s using very attractive celebrity women to help sell their otherwise terrifyingly high-calorie sandwiches, Carl’s will debut a new commercial later this month starring 39-year old walking Fountain of Youth, Heidi Klum. Sure, you could say that this has absolutely nothing to do with sports, but I can name two athletes named Carl – Edwards and Yastrzemski – so I’ve covered my bases.

The theme of Klum’s commercial is the classic film, The Graduate, which is awesome, because it should be every college-aged male’s dream to be seduced by a woman as amazingly attractive as Klum and afford a hamburger. And like all good commercials these days, Carl’s Jr. went behind the scenes with Klum to tell you what goes into making a 30-second spot about food. Trust me, it’s as fascinating as you think.

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What you’re looking at, by way of @KateUpton, is America’s Best Girl dressed as a zombie version of Marilyn Monroe for Heidi Klum’s Halloween party. I guess a better description might be “Marilyn Monroe during filming of The Seven Year Itch if the subway breeze blew her into the street where she fractured her arms and exposed the bones instead of just blowing up her skirt”, or, as Sportress Of Blogitude suggests, “Partially Decomposed (But Not In A Grotesque Way Which Would Cause Me To Appear Not Totally Hot) Marilyn Monroe”.

Regardless, this is one of Kate’s two mostly-effortless costumes for the season. The other, a bottle of Tabasco Sauce with a simultaneously cute and sexual Nutrition Facts label, can be seen along with more of Dead Marilyn (too soon) after the jump. What, you think I’m going to put up pictures of Kate Upton and not make you click through them? You don’t know anything about blogging. Keep your hands where I can see them.

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Ever since the E! network allegedly paid for a 20-carat engagement ring and gave it to New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries to give to Kim Kardashian, it’s been a nonstop whirlwind of marriage preparation for the talentless giant ass and the guy she’ll probably leave at the altar. But of course all that preparation will focus on her ass, because why shouldn’t it?

After a recent filming of Project Runway, for which Kardashian was a special guest judge with all of her fashion expertise, host Heidi Klum went for a jog with Kardashian to help her get in wedding shape.

She is set to wed NBA player Kris Humphries later this year and has vowed to ‘slim down’ before the big day.

‘I want to really get in fab shape!’ she has said.

She has been has been hitting regularly, some times managing multiple workouts a day.

Meanwhile, the star went out of her way to prove that her curves are all natural in teh latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (Daily Mail)

(It’s a banner day for tabloid “journalism” when writers are misspelling “the”. I’m hardly Hunter S. Hemingway, but come on. The British have lost the right to question our academic system for the next 24 hours.)

You know, they say the camera adds 10 pounds, which means that bridesmaid Khloe Kardashian will be wearing something from the Barnum & Bailey collection. As for Kim, a virginal bride should traditionally wear white on her wedding day, which has limited her color selection to “burnt match”.

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