"Buy me some Smirnoff Ice and Armani slacks, I don't care if I *mumble mumble*, bro."
Forgive me for that headline, as hyperbole usually isn’t in my wheelhouse, but holy Harry Caray, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler did a number on the classic Wrigley Field 7th inning stretch on Saturday. Our beloved J-Cutty was on hand at the Friendly Confines to throw out the first pitch and sing “Take me Out to the Ballgame” and it was just plain bad.
Cutler also spent the bottom half of the 7th inning in the booth with Bob Brenly and Len Kasper, and the entire package was just one epic disaster of awkwardness. Ultimately, it’s what I expected from the socially reluctant Cutler, who never seems like he wants to be anywhere. Hell, I thought the cherry on top was when he returned to his seat without the Cubs jersey that he was visibly struggling to button up as he entered the booth.
But hey, not everyone has to be a Cubs fan to appreciate tradition. However, would it be too much of me to ask these celebrities and Cubs fans to simply learn the lyrics to a short song that people have been singing for more than 100 years? I don’t think so. And to answer my own question, no. Cutler wasn’t the worst. Perhaps he was the most uninspired or uninterested, but there have been many far worse. And I have them to punish us all.
