I’m sure every rugby hit is the hardest rugby hit ever, but I’m officially giving the title of Rugby Jadeveon Clowney to St. Paul’s collegiate student Ruslan Casey. He already sounds like a legendary MMA fighter, and now he’s got a viral clip of his ferocity on the Internet. Keep killing dudes, Ruslan, and I’ll keep sharing it. (h/t to Bush League Chronicle)

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Links

That Awkward Moment When You Run Into Sharon Stone While Wearing Your Sharon Stone ‘Basic Instinct’ T-Shirt |UPROXX|

Pete Campbell Bear Attack Update: Now More Plausible Than Ever |Warming Glow|

WATCH: 11-year-old Natalie Portman’s audition for The Professional |Film Drunk|

An Ode To Billy Horschel’s Octopus Pants |With Leather|

Joss Whedon Says [SPOILER] Won’t Be In ‘The Avengers 2′, Talks Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch |Gamma Squad|

14 Underachieving Rappers Who Didn’t Reach Their Full Potential |Smoking Section|

The Dolphins Cheerleaders Make Taylor Swift Bearable |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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"Hey bro, you okay, bro?"

On Friday, the 76th annual IIHF Ice Hockey World Championship got underway in Finland and Sweden, and the U.S. team laid a 7-2 hurting on Team France for anyone who might have missed the game (translated: errbody). Obviously, France was pretty pissed off about that humiliating defeat, so the Fightin’ Eiffels came out swinging pretty hard against Kazakhstan yesterday. France won the game 6-3, but that’s not what anyone is talking about today.

The game featured 63 penalty minutes in total, but the biggest hit of the game belonged to 24-year old French forward Sacha Treille, who laid a vicious shoulder shot to Roman Starchenko’s head-ish/neck-ish regions, knocking him out cold. Treille received a major and match penalty, good enough for an ejection, and the hit will be reviewed by the IIHF disciplinary panel.

Sadly, I think this means I have to retire my Zinedine Zidane headbutt GIF as my favorite French sports cheap shot. I think it’s worth it, though.

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For the general improvement of your Friday afternoon, please enjoy this clip (by way of Prep Rally) from a game in the 7th/8th grade indoor lacrosse league at suburban Philadelphia’s BucksMont Indoor Sports Center wherein a kid taking a penalty shot worries a little too much about flip-cradling the ball and gets Sat The F**k Down by a child goalie in Tony Stark’s Mark I Iron Man armor. It is brutal, apparently legal and absolutely glorious.

There’s also something adorable about a kid doing the YEAH NOW WHAT shoulder shrug at someone he’s just leveled, then just walking away calmly into the loving arms of his teammates.

A positive aside to the video is the sportsmanship shown by both sides, as the kid who takes the hit takes it like a true Lax Bro and baby Robocop reciprocates. These videos have trained me to expect the downed kid to get up swinging.

This is all you need to know, really.

“The coach decided to put on a kid’s helmet, and so I was picked. It was me and two other kids were picked by the head coach. So, we had to go out there and try to tackle him,” said Alex Androsuk. “The coach has seen the video and said I was faking my injury.”

The injury Androsuk is faking happened when a grown-ass man in a middle school football helmet ran into a 13-year old as hard as he could and broke his collarbone. There’s a lot of laughing in the video, and in a better world this would happen at the end of a montage where the down-on-his-luck coach has finally learned to love his ragamuffin squad of ne’er-do-well tweens and they’re all rolling around on in the grass hugging because sports are great. In a worse world — the one we actually live in — there’s a cracking noise that should have it’s own comic book onomatopoeia and a kid who had to get emasculated before he went home and told his parents what happened. Parents don’t react well to this. They react like you’d think they might.

I feel like things wouldn’t be so bad if the stupid sports thing of “get up, you’re faking/milking it/[genderphobic slur]” had been replaced with something really easy to say, like, “I didn’t mean to do that” or “I’m sorry”, or even “hey everyone help me get this kid with a f**ked-up bone to the hospital because I made a bad decision”. Mistakes happen, right? You rough-house and sh*t happens. Then, somewhere shortly thereafter, decency comes into play. If that doesn’t work, this happens.

He’s now thinking about contacting a lawyer to look into this.

The way it’s phrased, it sounds like an upset parent wanting a middle school football coach to show ass. Here’s a quicker solution: from now on, everybody uses their brains.

Here at With Leather, we’re suckers for some good violence, between Brandon’s love of wrestling and my appreciation of a good football to the groin. But we don’t always get to catch all of the best stories and videos of the day, because we’re so busy trying to balance blogging and teaching MMA to toddlers. It’s a pretty hectic life we lead. But thankfully I have a lot of friends who have young kids and are starting to introduce them to sports to fill my email inbox with stories and videos of their kids dropping balls or spinning in circles. They keep me pretty grounded.

Of course that led me to exploring the YouTubes the other day for funny pee wee and child football league clips and I discovered what we basically already knew – parents are monsters. First of all, I know parents think their kids are the most awesome kids in the world, but that doesn’t mean they have to post 10,000 videos of their kids with each video claiming to be the most amazing play in pee wee football history. Secondly, kids aren’t very bright when they’re young. They can’t quite understand the complexities of football plays, so yelling at them about lining up properly or running routes doesn’t really register. You might want to stick to the basics.

Thankfully, out of the hundred or so pee wee and Pop Warner football videos I ended up watching this week, there were a few that had some quality entertainment values to them. Please note, that I’m not condoning violence in child sports – because there were a few videos I could have included but I’m not a monster so any that resulted in injuries or crying have been left out – but it is pretty funny watching kids tackle each other. Enjoy!

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Detroit Lions tackle Ndamukong Suh is no stranger to trading paycheck money for Blitz: The League 2-style necksnapping and ballpopping. The league fined him $7,500 for his hit on Jake Delhomme and 15K for his forearm strike (or “two-hand shiver”) to the back of Jay Cutler’s sad head.

Friday night’s game between the Lions and the Cincinnati Bengals happened, and Suh did not react kindly to Richie Cunningham in the pocket. Take a look for yourself.

The NFL hasn’t released any official statement on the hit or the fine, but Ndamukong’s Twitter update has given us an important clue. See if you can figure it out.

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