It’s Kate Upton’s 21st Birthday So Let’s Throw Her The GIF Party Of The Year

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.10.13

Kate Upton Birthday Party

Today is Kate Upton’s 21st birthday, and as such we would like to wish our favorite Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model and reigning With Leather Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year (2010-probably when she turns, like, 34 or something) the best of birthday wishes. I also hope that she doesn’t go out and drink awful mixed shots until she throws up on an Applebee’s toilet seat like I did on my 21st birthday 13 years, I mean, three years ago.

And if she does go out to have some drinks on her birthday, maybe she’ll tell me where it is so I can totally not go there and stare at her like some crazy pervert wearing a top hat and holding an engagement ring. That would, haha, that would just be ridiculous.

Anywho, to honor our special lady, I slapped together this collection of my favorite 21 Kate Upton GIFs because she is wonderful and it’s Monday, so we should start off the week in style. Happy birthday, Kate.

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Happy 25th Birthday, Timothy Richard Tebow!

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.14.12

If you weren’t aware that today is New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow’s birthday, then you probably haven’t turned on a TV or logged into Facebook or Twitter yet. (Side note: If that’s not your morning routine, you’re already my role model.) But yes indeed, friends, today is the day of birth for the Chosen Gun – trying out some new nicknames in case he ever becomes accurate – and we’re certainly not at a shortage of needlessly positive Tebow news or jokes that his birthday is actually December 25.

ESPN’s Sal Paolantonio is already salivating over the prospect of a Tim Tebow Wildcat system, even claiming that Tebow may be the greatest left-handed athlete of all-time. My grandmother always told me that hyperbole is the greatest gift. Meanwhile, Tony Sparano, that architect of all those amazing Miami *fart noise* Dolphins *fart noise* offenses, is keeping almost everything about his Wildcat a secret, because he wants it to take two weeks before defenses start stuffing Shonn Greene for no gain.

But today is about celebration for the world’s beloved Tebow, and I find there’s no better way to honor him than with a special tribute from our dear friends at Rick’s Cabaret in New York City, as they passed along a few special birthday pictures this morning. And to top it all off, I made Tebow a very special With Leather photoshop birthday card.

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Happy 40th Birthday, Dwayne: 40 Great Moments Of The Rock

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.02.12


the-rock-mania

Via Facebook:

I spent every day of my 30′s puttin’ in hard work..

So today, I can turn 40 and say with a big ass smile..

I’m just gettin’ started!

As of this posting, that status has about 90,000 “likes”. Today is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s birthday, and if you haven’t been paying attention … he’s pretty popular.

To help celebrate Rocky’s milestone, we’ve compiled a loosely ordered list of moments, matches and Kung Pao Bitch jokes from his career. Whether you like him or you don’t, it’s hard to deny that he’s one of the most influential and entertaining performers in the history of pro wrestling … and one of two pro wrestlers cool enough to be a G.I. Joe. Three if you count The Fridge.

Happy birthday, Rocky.

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Happy 58th Birthday, Hulk Hogan! Now Here’s Your Naked Daughter

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.12.11

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Well, happy belated birthday, Hulkster. Yesterday, Hulk “Terry Bollea” Hogan celebrated his 58th birthday in only the truest American fashion – with his 35-year old wife, Jennifer McDaniel Bollea Hogan, and naked pictures of his daughter. Dad was on hand when Brooke Hogan revealed the image of her new PETA ad, in which she’s naked in a dog cage.

*tears shirt open* RESIST THE EASY JOKES, BROTHER!

From there, the Hogans celebrated birthdaymania with a fancy cake, some awkward poses, and with a camera jammed in their faces. But that was all the fun they would have before Hogan’s old enemies would come back to haunt him. Namely the Ultimate Warrior, who released a special birthday greeting on his Facebook page.

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Happy Birthday, Willie Mays

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.06.11

Willie Mays celebrates his 80th birthday

Willie Mays turns 80 today. Exactly 80. He is probably still better than you at baseball. When he eventually dies, he’ll still be better at baseball than me.

Mays is inarguably one of the greatest players of all time. I’m not even pigeon-holing that to baseball. Willie Mays was better at his job than almost anyone else is at theirs, and if I were a better blogger I’d be listing off his accomplishments, explaining to you with a mix of charm and reverence how he changed the game for the better, and always maintained that quiet dignity we’re so desperate to find in today’s stars, but so quick to explain away.

I don’t know Willie Mays personally. I wish I did. I was born in 1980, which means I never saw him play a game live. I know him from highlight reels, and Ken Burns’ Baseball, and an exceptional chapter in Joe Posnanski’s The Soul of Baseball: A Road Trip Through Buck O’Neil’s America about Willie’s experience in Buck’s Negro Leagues Museum. I know him as the guy in the satin jacket who makes stadiums full of people stand up and cheer and weep as he rides by on a little cart.

I also know him as an absolutely crucial, intangible piece of what makes baseball baseball. He’s a monument. He’s grainy black and white footage of a little guy running, running into the outfield, catching a big white ball as it falls, then whipping around and losing his hat. I’m glad he existed, and happy he still gets to. Happy birthday, Willie Mays, and thank you for never stabbing your wife or texting pictures of your junk to ladies.

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