I’d like to preface this clip of one-legged soccer players getting into a bench-clearing brawl by saying holy shit, there is no way this is real. This did not happen in real life. It’s an out-of-context ‘Arrested Development’ season 4 clip, right?

101unbelievablegoals uploaded the clip, and they never provide any context greater than COOL FOOTBALL CLIPS CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE, so here’s what I’ve gathered: a German charity soccer match featuring one-legged players on crutches devolved into a shouting match and fight when one guy fell over, tripping an opponent, and then THAT guy shoved a player who was trying to help him get up. WE DON’T ACCEPT CHARITY IN CHARITY SOCCER MATCHES. The other one-legged players start yelling at each other, causing a bunch of regular-legged types to rush onto the pitch and break it up. But if there’s one thing we know about regular-legged types, it’s that they can’t accomplish anything. The fight escalates and continues.

So here’s your lesson for today: Soccer players are soccer players no matter how many limbs they lose, and if you put a soccer ball between two quadruple amputees, they’d find a way to start hitting each other.

This is Zip.

Zip won five championships in agility before an accident left her paralyzed. Now, they take the bars off for her and let her run between the posts, and she still makes little jumps as she goes through them and oh my God my heart.

Video is below. Warning: HIS LITTLE JUMPS, OH MY GOD.

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In case you missed our story about WWE’s Daniel Bryan letting 7-year-old Connor ‘Stone Crusher’ Michalek tap him out to the No Lock, pro wrestling news can be happy and positive. Case in point: Ohio’s PRIME Wrestling, and the managerial expertise of Jill Dials.

One of PRIME’s top tag teams is the ‘Handicapped Handguns,’ Gregory Iron and Zach Gowen. Iron was cerebral palsy, and Gowen lost his left leg to cancer when he was 8-years old. You may remember Iron as the guy who got WWE Champion CM Punk’s endorsement and made it onto ESPN back in 2011. You may remember Gowen from his 2003-2004 run in WWE, where he wrestled Vince McMahon on pay-per-view and once defeated Brock Lesnar by disqualification. They are pro wrestlers living their dream, no matter what life came up with to stop them.

The Handguns recently had a match on PRIME Wrestling TV against The Sons Of Michigan (note: you can’t get any more heel in Ohio than being from Michigan) and did something very special — they helped a fan’s life in wrestling become, if only for a night, as charmed as theirs.

Greg & Zach’s most passionate supporter is likely Jill Dials. Born with spina bifida and confined to a wheelchair, Jill looks to Greg & Zach as sources of inspiration & hope and frequently proudly proclaims them to be her heroes. She also has a dream of her own… to be a wrestling manager/valet like another hero of hers… the legendary Miss Elizabeth.

Watch as Greg & Zach make Jill’s lifelong dream come true in a truly touching & emotional sentiment, then watch how their decision results in a dream come true for everyone involved in a recent match on PRIME Wrestling TV against The Sons of Michigan, “Amazing” N8 Mattson & “Big Bear” Benjamin Boone.

She doesn’t just accompany them to ringside, either … she gets involved. The video is after the jump, and it’s a must watch, because they, sometimes people are awesome.

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I have a dream that I don’t really share with anyone because it’s stupid and will never happen, but one day I would love to play in a celebrity pro-am golf tournament with Bill Murray. My dream used to be to make the Senior PGA so I don’t have to worry about rotting in a nursing home hellhole, but I really suck at golf, so that dream was crushed like a beer can under one of John Daly’s ass cheeks. Nevertheless, I play golf because I find peace and inspiration in it, and that’s before I was even aware of amateur golfer Manuel de los Santos’ existence.

A former prospect for the Toronto Blue Jays, de los Santos has been pursuing a career as a professional golfer for the last 9 years or so. But why on Earth would he give up a shot at Major League Baseball for the PGA?

“I was a baseball player and the first time I see the little ball on the floor, I didn’t have anything in my mind to hit this ball,” the Dominican Republic native said.

“I had to find a way to hit this ball. He was on the floor waiting for me. He do nothing and I had a problem. I only had one leg.” (Via the Herald Sun)

Ah yes, one leg. It turns out that de los Santos lost his left leg in a motorcycle accident when he was just 18, thus ruining his once-promising baseball career. But instead of being a mopey crybaby about it, he did what any inspired, motivated athlete would do – he watched The Legend of Bagger Vance. Wait, what?

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