I love living in the future.

The forward-thinkers at ASB have created GlassFloor, a multi-purpose sports court that can change its lines and adapt with the push of a button. Want to play handball? Boom. Volleyball? Basketball? Additional boom. Want to play half basketball, half badminton? I don’t know why you’d want to do that, but it can do that.

The properties of glass allow for more than just an optimized floor surface. LED marking lines can be switched on/off or changed on demand. Originally designed for the sport of squash where portable All-Glass-Courts are erected in all types of locations, like city centres, in front of the pyramids or in shopping centres. The floor is suitable for indoor and outdoor use.

The one way translucence of the floor allows a whole new range of possibilities. LED lines or screens can be seen through the floor but when but when not illuminated, they are invisible. The floor is very long lasting and sustainable.

The Internet, as you may have guessed, has a problem with this. It has ALL THE PROBLEMS with this. Presented below are just a selection of the gripes YouTubers have found with ASB GlassFloor, and sadly none of them are “we’re gonna come down from a dunk and break the glass floor and fall into oblivion.”

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"Siri, remind me to watch the MAHGFAQQINN LYMPICS."

One of the strangest and most precious gems from this weekend was discovering that Pulp Fiction slash The Avengers slash Star Wars slash everything else star Samuel L. Jackson loves the 2012 Summer Olympics and can’t stop tweeting about them.

It’s important to stress that this is not a parody, and that these are real tweets from @SamuelLJackson. They cover everything from handball to sync diving to Malaysian badminton, all with Jackson’s contractually obligated tendency to shoehorn curse words into anything he’s saying. The guy works in “f**k” like Jackson Pollock worked in drip. He spells it however he wants, puts it wherever he wants whether it makes sense or not and sometimes ends up with a mangle of consonants because he’s SAMUEL L. MARGHFAGGUIN JACKSON.

Normally I’d want to provide some kind of commentary or context for these, but that’d be like touching a baby bird. Two major warnings before you proceed:

1. These tweets may contain harsh language, and reader discretion is advised.

2. These tweets may contain language you did not know existed.

Please enjoy 20 of the best Sam Jackson tweets from this weekend, and join us every day between now and the end of the Olympics for 20 more.

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Bronco-haters and fans of interceptions and beards will be pleased to learn that Jake Plummer, though semi-officially maybe retired from the NFL, hasn't disappeared from the sporting world entirely. He's playing competitive handball (second item).

Jake Plummer and older brother Eric advanced to the semifinals of the Colorado Open handball championships over the weekend at the Denver Athletic Club.

The Plummers were defeated in the semifinals by eventual champions Bear Meiring and Jay Sprenger. The Plummers upset the No. 2-seeded team to make it to the semifinals.

Sadly, AP and Getty photographers somehow didn't get the memo that this huge event — featuring star handball players like Bear Meiring, Jay Sprenger, and Jake Plummer's older brother — was happening, so I've been forced to use an artist's rendition of the event. An artist's rendition of team handball, which isn't quite the same thing as doubles, which is like racquetball without racquets, but whatever. Like you care.

The good news is that Eli Manning can take heart from Plummer's success. He might have a future in squash after all. 

If you thought foxy boxing, Jell-O wrestling, and bikini bullriding were nasty, tough sports, allow me to introduce you to the world of Brazilian women's handball:

Brazilian women handball players threw punches and pulled each others' hair in a brawl that forced a national championship semifinal to be abandoned. Television pictures showed lumps of hair on the court after the match between Metodista and Guarulhos.

[The second of two brawls] erupted in the last minute when a Guarulhos player pulled an opponent's hair, pushed her in the back and then slapped her in the face. The other player replied with a punch in the face, initiating another brawl which involved players, substitutes and officials, who traded kicks and punches.

This is one of the few times I'm glad I don't have photos from a sporting event. There is no way in hell that this scene was half as sexy as it is in my head — I'm pretty sure they don't wear lipstick and clear platform heels in women's handball. Although it is Brazil, and those people are the masters of sexy, so who knows.

(Thanks to Sports Frog for finding the story. Photos of the Handebol League are available here… although this one is the only one worth looking at.)