One of the unfortunate drawbacks of this being an almost entirely sports-related blog (unless, in extreme circumstances, the situation calls for Kate Upton pictures) is that we don’t ever really get to enjoy the best part of Halloween – girls in slutty costumes. Fortunately, the US Women’s National Soccer Team is here to help us out with that, and soccer girls totally know how to party. Not as much as rugby girls, but they’re still up there.

That said, With Leather’s Official Favorite Women’s Soccer Player Alex Morgan and the equally awesome Sydney Leroux paid tribute to their fellow American Olympians, McKayla Maroney and Gabby Douglas, respectively, over the weekend at whatever Halloween parties they attended with their teammates Abby Wambach and Shannon Boxx.

Basically, this is a very roundabout way of me saying that Morgan and Leroux Tweeted pictures of themselves in one-piece bathing suits, so I’m posting them. Consider this the candy that I would have pretended to put in your bag if you came to my door. (Along with a couple ice cubes, because I’m a dick.)

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The hardest part of owning a dog isn’t training it and remembering to do all the small things like feeding, walking and bathing it, nor is it teaching it how to run up to big breasted women with a rose in its mouth and a tiny little envelope with a hotel room key attached to its collar. No, the most difficult thing about being a dog owner is determining when it is acceptable to dress a pet in costumes, and the answer is two-fold: 1) On any holidays or sports game days for photos only and 2) Halloween. Those aren’t my rules, just Vatican law.

And people in New York City agree with those rules, as they gathered this past Saturday for the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade and costume contest to determine which of the pooches in attendance wagged it best. The winner? Gracie, the puggish sort of thing in the banner pic.

The weather cleared up just in time for Saturday’s annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade. A tradition 22 years strong, this year’s costumes did not fall short with creative looks like Fifty Shades of Grey, Mutt Romney and this adorable Corgi Fire Truck. And while all the hundreds of outfitted pooches were winners in our book, Evita placed first with her ornate outfit. (Via Petside)

But when it comes to Halloween dog contests, there can’t really ever be just one winner, unless it’s a bulldog dressed as the devil. Unfortunately, there were no bulldogs dressed as devils at this year’s Tompkins Square parade, just a ton of other dogs in great costumes. After the jump, check out some of our favorites, and there are plenty more over at Petside and the HuffPo.

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Pre-show notes:

- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are greatly appreciated. It takes less than one second from your day and helps me continue to get paid for writing hacky Watchmen references and John Carter jokes in a wrestling column on a sports blog. I love you, and if you don’t want to hit me in the head with a brick, this is your best way to show me.

- As always, thank you to Casey/THESTINGER of Hammerlock Dialectic for GIFs.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- If you missed out interview with Eve Torres, be sure to check that out here. Or, you know, find the 411 Wrestling post that copied in paragraphs from it and reported it as exclusive news. Part of it is about punching Doink The Clown in the face, it’s pretty great.

- Repost: My trip to WrestleMania XXIX is officially being planned, so if you’re anywhere near the New York/New Jersey area and want to be Wrestling Bros In The Snow with me next April, start scheduling it now.

And now, please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for October 22, 2012.

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Today in Extremely Specific Fetishes, we follow the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleaders into a haunted house at Busch Gardens’ annual Howl-O-Scream event. It’s the scariest thing the poor girls have had to do since somebody approached them and said, “hey, go do a stupid horse dance behind the mascot, we’re gonna make a Gangnam Style video“.

From the YouTube description:

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders challenged their fears inside the Dark Side of the Gardens at Howl-O-Scream last weekend. The cheerleaders toured the new houses Blood Asylum and Circus of Superstition 3-D.

In Blood Asylum, the cheerleaders ran from “The Creature” in a high-security asylum for the criminally insane. Then, in Circus of Superstition 3-D, the 14 cheerleaders faced 13 superstitions and crazed circus clowns in a 3-D tent of terror.

This is the fourth year they’ve done it, and frankly it’s a teen-boy-reading-Fangoria‘s dream. After the jump, you’ll find video of their … uh, “tour,” as well as a variety of photographs that prove once and for all that bright red lipstick and hot pants will not protect you from a werewolf attack.

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The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series. More importantly, I found out that Jim Thome autographs the Halloween candy he hands out.

That’s a Jim Thome signed Kit Kat, shared with Dugout co-founder Jon Bois by @bretwallin, and it’s right behind “that time he dressed as Paul Bunyan” on the list of things Jim Thome has done in real life to pull him closest to our fictional depiction of him here. The only way it could get better is if he accidentally kills something by petting it too hard.

Halloween was two days ago, sure, but this is the reason it should happen every day. Today’s Dugout follows.

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Somewhere between a 1,100-yard, 11-scores season and a cursed Madden cover, Cleveland Browns running back Peyton Hillis turned into Steve Urkel and started f**king up everything about his life and the lives of those around him. As Shutdown Corner helpfully explains, he’s rushed for fewer yards this season (211) than Cowboys rookie DeMarco Muray did a single game (253) and has missed more games (three) than he’s been in and scored (two).

If that wasn’t bad enough, The Cleveland Plain Dealer is now reporting that Hillis’ brother and agent confirmed he’d attend an event hosted by the Cleveland Boys and Girls Club for the benefit of 50 children who had to be bussed around from everywhere to meet him … then never showed up.

Former Browns center LeCharles Bentley explains, via Twitter:

I’m guessing #ManPlease is the diplomatic, semi-professional equivalent to #areyouseriousbro. When a guy with both “Le” and “Bentley” in his name is condescending on you for being hoity-toity, something’s wrong.

And if we’ve learned nothing else from Cleveland-area sports public relations disasters it’s that no-showing a Halloween charity party for underprivileged children is one thing, but not swiftly explaining why you did it so people don’t think you’re an irreparable IR creep (Hillis’ people aren’t talking and Bentley won’t expound) is another. Another thing we’ve learned from Cleveland is to always assume the worst, and to know that it never gets any better.

[via CBS Sports]