This clip has been making the rounds over the past few days, and I didn’t want to be the last person in your sports blogging world to say, “hey, check out this guy using a weight bench to swim and/or tear every muscle in his body.” Who needs a spine, anyway?

This is my new excuse for half-assing it to the gym. Sometimes I want to change it up and do a new exercise, so I’ll find a bench of a machine and just sit there mentally trying to figure it out or physically trying to adapt my body to however I’m supposed to sit, and … no. Occasionally I’ll look up an instructional video on YouTube and work my way through it. But how am I supposed to do that when I know the entire gym is armed with smartphones, and are just waiting to pounce on my futility and upload it to mass applause? I’M JUST TRYING TO WORK OUT MY DELTOIDS, WHATEVER THOSE ARE, STOP LOOKING AT ME.

Anyway, I hope the follow-up to this video is him jumping into a swimming pool and swimming super f**king fast.

[h/t to Bob's Blitz]

"GET SHREDDED, BRO!"

If you had 6 days in the “How Long Until People Will Start Complaining About Something Stupid?” pool, then pat yourself on the back, because you win. Unfortunately, I can’t give you a prize, because all my money is tied up in my new gym membership at Equinox, where “It’s not fitness, it’s life.” And it’s Equinox that is causing a stir with its latest ad campaign that features attractive models doing things that wealthy people do. Why, I’ve never heard of something so outrageous!

According to ABC News, the complaint du jour, by actual Equinox members, is that the models are too skinny and don’t represent the healthy lifestyle that a gym should promote. It makes me so angry that I don’t even want to finish bench-pressing my butler.

Equinox members peppered the company’s Facebook site this week with criticiam, saying the models looked “anorexic.”

“Why did all of the models have a runway physique?” one member wrote. “Equinox is promoting health and fitness, so I would like to see some healthy and fit women on their ad campaigns who look like they could actually survive a typical Equinox class. Can we maybe see a little bit of muscle on the ladies next time around? The Nike ads are great examples of strong, fit women!” another member wrote.

An Equinox membership costs approximately $135-183 a month, not to mention the $400 “initiation fee”, which I assume includes an elephant walk at a private country club and running across the Aventura Mall while carrying a diamond between my butt cheeks. Needless to say, it’s an upscale fitness club.

So the fact that people are bitching because the ads – check them out after the jump – for their fancy pants gym – that specifically claims it’s not about fitness – are coming across too fancy pants is pretty damn ridiculous. But that’s why I stick to a simple, timeless workout routine.

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