"Siri, remind me to watch the MAHGFAQQINN LYMPICS."

One of the strangest and most precious gems from this weekend was discovering that Pulp Fiction slash The Avengers slash Star Wars slash everything else star Samuel L. Jackson loves the 2012 Summer Olympics and can’t stop tweeting about them.

It’s important to stress that this is not a parody, and that these are real tweets from @SamuelLJackson. They cover everything from handball to sync diving to Malaysian badminton, all with Jackson’s contractually obligated tendency to shoehorn curse words into anything he’s saying. The guy works in “f**k” like Jackson Pollock worked in drip. He spells it however he wants, puts it wherever he wants whether it makes sense or not and sometimes ends up with a mangle of consonants because he’s SAMUEL L. MARGHFAGGUIN JACKSON.

Normally I’d want to provide some kind of commentary or context for these, but that’d be like touching a baby bird. Two major warnings before you proceed:

1. These tweets may contain harsh language, and reader discretion is advised.

2. These tweets may contain language you did not know existed.

Please enjoy 20 of the best Sam Jackson tweets from this weekend, and join us every day between now and the end of the Olympics for 20 more.

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US gymnast Aly Raisman qualified for the Womens All-Around final. Her parents did two things: (1) watched from the crowd, (2) reminded me to think about how lucky I am the next time my parents barely pay attention to me. (via Bob’s Blitz)

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Links

Meme Watch: Unimpressed Queen Elizabeth Wants Those Darn Olympics To Get Off Her Lawn |UPROXX|

George R.R. Martin Explains That There’s A Lot of Sex in ‘Game of Thrones’ Because Sex Is Awesome |Warming Glow|

10 Things You Should Know About Step Up: Revolution |Film Drunk|

Sports On TV: Full House’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments |With Leather|

That Fifth ‘Indiana Jones’ Movie Nobody Wanted Is Probably, Thankfully Dead |Gamma Squad|

Question Of The Day: Who’s The Most Overrated Rapper Out Right Now? |Smoking Section|

KSK Kommenter Draft: New Olympic ‘Sports’ |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Antoine Dodson Explains Why It’s Okay To Be Gay & Still Eat Chick-Fil-A |Smoking Section|

‘Dishonored’ Is Like A Choose Your Own Adventure Book (Just With A Lot More Arterial Spray) |Gamma Squad|

Tom Hardy Rapping With A Baby Is The Internet’s Reckoning |Film Drunk|

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The Olympics are almost here, and that can only mean one thing — the guys from ‘Dude Perfect’ doing a bunch of trick shots and high-fiving each other like they always do, and also Olympians are there.

The latest effort from the crew features cameos and instructional segments from Olympic athletes Sean Melton, Dennis Bowsher, Giddeon Massie, Joshua Dixon, Katherine Fulp-Allen and Jake Herbert as well as the U.S. Bobsled Team and Paralympian Elizabeth Stone, so it’s more than just guys shooting front flip three-pointers … it’s guys shooting front flip three-pointers for America.

Aside from that front flip, the highlight of the video has to be the part where Dude perfectly bowls a basketball across a hilly rooftop and somehow manages to get it in the basket. I’m going to remember this the next time my stupid ass goes for a lay-up in front of nobody and misses the rim completely.

How can we get Trick Shots into the Olympics? That’s guaranteed U.S.A. gold.

[h/t Fourth-Place Medal]

Don’t scroll down. DON’T SCROLL DOWN. [via OTB]

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- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

Christina Hendricks And Olivia Munn Had Their Cellphones Hacked - … and while the faceless nude shots are pretty obviously not them, it’s fun to dream. AND it’s fun to find out Olivia Munn photoshops her cellphone pics with hokey sex taunts. [ONTD]

7 Ways Peyton Manning Should Spend His Last Weekend In Indianapolis - Number 8: nailing the hottest woman in Indianapolis, who I’m gonna guess is that one hostess at the Applebee’s. [Smoking Section]

6 Dumb Things Movies Do to Make Their Special Effects Less Effective - I guess I’m an old film softie, because “things being pretty” and “the camera moving” have never bothered me. Rubbery-ass Spider-Man, on the other hand … [Gamma Squad]

AMC Accidentally Reveals Major ‘Walking Dead’ Spoiler On Their Website - “Nothing’s going to happen this week” credit: AMC.com [Warming Glow]

Friday Free For All: Weird Al stars in ‘Weird Owl’ - I can’t wait until his first movie, Hoo-HF. [Film Drunk]

The Very Best Of GIFBomb Lady - This is pretty inspired, especially “What David Robinson thinks I do”. Are you still looking at that Christina Hendricks pic? [UPROXX]

Pulp Fiction Finally Gets Medieval On Our A$$es, Shakespeare Style - Pulp Fiction meets Downton Abbey in Downton Fiction! Sorry, that doesn’t exist, but it might tomrorow! [UPROXX]

20 Pampered Dogs In Baby Carriages - First comes dog love, then comes dog marriage. Then comes … well, this. [Buzzfeed]

Simpsons Christmas Cards From The Future - I wish we could go back and progressively age the Simpsons characters season by season so they wouldn’t have to turn into the thing we have now. [HuffPost Comedy]

David Hasselhoff takes the “Germans love me”-thing a bit too far - If Norm MacDonald isn’t involved, he hasn’t taken it far enough. [FARK]

Yoga for Babies is the Creepiest Exercise Video We’ve Ever Seen - YOGA IS NOT FOR BABIES. Bikram Yoga might be, though. [The FW]

ESPN The Magazine has released a batch of photos from the 2011 installment of their annual “The Body Issue”, and while full-on nudity isn’t something we can really share with you at With Leather, we can’t see a picture of Blake Griffin dunking with his pants down and not share it with you. It gives the whole “dunking over a car” thing an extra degree of difficulty.

This year’s issue isn’t as conservative as 2009, when most of the athletes were wearing shorts, but it remains tasteful and doesn’t tread near the whole “seeing Patrick Willis’ pubic hair” thing from last year. There are a lot (a lot) of gorgeous women from nearly every corner of the sports world featured, including-but-not-limited-to Hope Solo, LPGA rookie Belen Mozo, foxy roller derby star Suzy Hotrod, the WNBA’s statuesque Sylvia Fowles and the lady pulling a LeBron James in the image up top, Olympic silver medal gymnast Alicia Sacramone. I’m really glad that isn’t LeBron James.

Of course, the following gallery is only a sampling, and you should head on over to ESPN The Magazine The Website to see more, including the pictures I’m not authorized to show you (or, “Wow, time to Wikipedia the sh*t out of Stephanie Gilmore”). Also, consider buying the magazine itself, if that’s your bag. Now please click through and laugh at that weird picture of Jon “Bones” Jones peeing in his swimming pool.

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By way of Jimmy Traina’s Hot Clicks comes the most athletic thing you’re going to see on a baseball diamond today (and probably tomorrow, unless decades of watching the boring-ass All-Star Game have steered me wrong). The image grab from the video to the right makes it look like one of those mock-up Avengers posters where everyone’s falling and jump-kicking at nothing. There isn’t a lot of context for the video outside of me just telling you what happened, so here it goes — instead of plowing through the catcher like so much Scott Cousins, the runner goes for a diving cartwheel thing OVER the catcher and pulls it off, but the umpire is just like “f**k you, you’re out” like he was Willie Mays Hayes pulling up short on a slide. Watching the video it does look like he’s out, but that ump was ready to call him on his bullsh** before he was even tagged.

Of course, my mind went to terrible pop culture, and all I could think of watching this was Tony Micelli’s terrible Superman dive through a catcher’s easy tag from “Who’s The Boss?” (at about the :20 mark)

Maybe Tony should’ve brushed up on his capoeira before trying to slide.

[By way of It's Always Sunny in Detroit]