Okay, four things, if you count “don’t get a tattoo that says ‘RELENTLESS’ in a third grader’s print going down the back of your arm” as a thing.

As regular readers know, one of our favorite commenters (and people in the world) is Jessica, aka Lobster Mobster. She runs an MMA site called Leg Kick TKO and is sometimes gracious enough to send along a video or two to With Leather before she posts it. This morning, I woke up to a tip e-mail (cough withleather-tips@uproxx.com cough) featuring three very different videos with one thing in common: they are fantastic examples of what not to do if your job is “MMA Fighter”.

So, if you’re a Warrior In Training, own more than one Affliction shirt or just like watching people get royally f**ked up in every definition of the term, I present to you the Lobster Mobster-flavored MMA Walk of Shame videos of the day.

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This video is The Internet in real life.

Think about it. It’s Sunday night and the New England Patriots have just lost the Super Bowl. Because you’re a Guy On The Internet, you think it’s an awesome idea to find a place with a bunch of Pats fans and troll them. In real life, that’d involve you putting on a Victor Cruz jersey, going to the UMass campus and giving everybody the finger while you salsa dance.

And, just like on the Internet, people get upset. You get threatened, and eventually somebody sucker punches you. You get dragged away (banned, whatever), the whole thing is recorded and spread around and a guy dressed like a banana is there for some reason. If you added Brazzers ads and a super loud thing telling me I’ve won a free iPad, that’s the f**king Internet, right?

The moral of the story is this: don’t be that guy on the Internet, whether you’re on the Internet or not. Better yet, don’t be the drunk Masshole who yells RRRRIOTTT when a riot might almost be happening.

[h/t Sportress by way of SportsGrid]