Here are three quotes from Puck Daddy’s “oh my God, did you seriously put NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman’s picture on the targets at your firing range” interview with DVC Indoor Shooting Center manager Wes Yen that put the story in its proper context:
“It seems to be one of our more popular targets. It’s actually been a pretty big hit for us.”
“I guess not. It’s an animated target. We’re not using real people. Everyone knows it’s just for fun.”
“It’s good for my business. When there’s nothing on TV, people will come down to the range and start shooting.”
Here’s what I’ve pieced together: Everyone who comes to the firing range has a well-meaning understanding that this is all for fun, but are also the types to START SHOOTING GUNS AT THINGS BECAUSE HOCKEY IS NOT ON TELEVISION. Remind me to wear a blaze orange morphsuit the next time I’m in Port Coquitlam, British Columbia, in the summer.
A better look at the target is below. Note that while the targets aren’t specifically on Bettman, three of the four are clear and Gary’s full of bullet holes. This is all for fun, hooray!
File this under “Something to Think About the Next Time I Complain About Homeless People Hanging Out by the Local Little League Park.” On Tuesday, the Saraperos baseball club of Saltillo, Mexico hosted an exhibition game with a local kids team, you know, for fun y giggles. But wouldn’t you know it, some of those pesky Mexican drug cartel nogoodniks were hanging out near the park, when they decided to start a gun fight with state police.
Sergio Sisbeles, the security spokesman for Coahuila, the northern border state where Saltillo is located, said the gunbattle broke out after gunmen opened fire on a state police patrol on a street near the stadium.
Police chased the gunmen, killing three and wounding another. They seized three rifles and a vehicle.
Drug cartels are active in the region, but police did not say whether the suspects belonged to a gang. (Via NBC Sports)
Much like your local weather service reminds you that you’re in for showers and to bring an umbrella, the U.S. Consulate is reminding people traveling and living in and around Saltillo to bring a Kevlar vest or two, because these gun battles are ongoing and not stopping anytime soon. And here I was thinking that my nephew wasn’t challenged enough on his little league team.
Official FilmDrunk Oscars Open Thread - When Viola Davis isn’t awarded for acting but an Oscar goes to the MM MMS I LUBS ME SOME FRIED CHICKEN GURRRL monologue from The Help, you know something’s wrong. [Film Drunk]
The 10 Greatest Oscar Travesties Since 1941 - Number one all time: Jurassic Park not winning Best Picture against literally anything they could put up against it. [Buzzfeed]
HBO’s 10 Greatest Musical Moments - Numbers one through ten: that DA DA DAAAAAA music that plays while the HBO logo from the 80s flies through space. [Warming Glow]
Creature Gear — 6 Pieces of Technology We Should Give to Zoo Animals - I want to stay away from any real life we3 situations that involve me being murdered by something yelling GUD DOG at me. [Gamma Squad]
Meme Watch: The Captain Kitteh Jokes Sail Full Speed Ahead - There needs to be a Delta version where you have to suddenly wait six hours between Captain Kitteh pictures because they still think booking flights on the Internet is make believe. [UPROXX]
The 10 Best GIFs From Thursday Night Television - |UPROXX|
DMX Had A Unique Hennessey Diet While Filming Belly - You aren’t going to care, but I’ve been mad at Belly for like 15 years for getting T-Boz from TLC naked in a movie and filming her in pitch blackness. [Smoking Section]
Review: Wanderlust - “Did not feature T-Boz from TLC nude. Would not watch again.” [Film Drunk]
Pamela Anderson proudly displays Spring’s latest look – eyebrows painted on a snare drum - If I was God, the first thing I’d do is get rid of airplane turbulence. The second thing I’d do is time displace ‘Home Improvement’-era Pam Anderson forever. [FARK]
Man Tests Bulletproof Vest By Shooting Himself [NSFW] - Alternate headline: “Man is total goober, earns place in next 10 editions of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader”. [The FW]
That Really Awkward Photo That Made Brad Pitt Look Like David Spade - That makes Angelina Jolie that illogically hot girl you always find out is banging David Spade, I guess. [Pajiba]
If All the Avengers Posed Like Black Widow - Pro wrestling gets a lot of sh*t for latent homosexuality, but man, it ain’t got nothin’ on comic books. [Unreality]
Samuel L. Jackson x Melody Sheep – Go The F**k To Sleep - New career goal: have someone type “Brandon Stroud x Melody Sheep – Go The F**k To Sleep” about something I’ve done. [High Definite]
Welcome to our weekly installment of Friday Face-Off, in which we pit two random videos against each other in the ultimate battle of “Awwww” and “Oh snap!” as you, our glorious With Leatherites, determine which video shall forever live in infamy as a champion. As always, feel free to submit videos to BurnsyWL@gmail.com and winning videos will receive our super cool, not-for-sale-anywhere With Leather t-shirts.
As we tip-toe toward Christmas, I thought we’d try a little experiment to see if it’s possible for anything to be better than Santa Claus, who is totally real despite what my brother has been telling me for 27 years. Obviously I have a great deal of respect for the other many wonderful holidays that take place at this time of year, but they don’t have any mascots with immense commercial appeal, so maybe they should try a little harder.
That said, our first video this week is a super heavyweight contender, as it features the world’s most popular animal of the week, Siku the polar bear cub, who was abandoned by his mom because she couldn’t produce milk. Abandoned. On Christmas. Is it cold in here? Then it’s time to turn up the cute.
By way of Sports Grid comes the latest in Fans Going Woo technology — a Godless machine captioned by the New York Islanders that can fire 12 t-shirts into the crowd in five seconds. Check out those fans at the bottom of the picture … that’s exactly how you should react to a t-shirt gatling gun.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “I could hold 12 t-shirts in my arms and just toss them into the crowd at once, taking less than five seconds and not requiring any semi-automatic technology”, and to that I say COMMUNIST, GET HIM and tackle you. Apparently t-shirt gatling guns aren’t anything new, as the first comment on Sports Grid explains that the Jacksonville Jaguars have been using one of these for a few years, so maybe the Islanders haven’t commandeered the first t-shirt machine gun, just the first one to ever be fired at fans.
All we need now is for someone in the Insert Sports Team Here Fun Bunch to create a t-shirt shotgun than can fire a fine spray of extra small shirts and my desire for pro hockey to be a first person shooter will be complete.
Raiders starting middle linebacker Rolando McClain has been arrested in his hometown of Decatur, Alabama, for allegedly assaulting an individual, holding a gun to his head and firing a shot next to his ear.
But probably the only thing you’re going to notice is that epic, cheesy, socially-uncomfortable photo of him being led into a police car captioned “McClain smiles for the camera after he was arrested by Decatur police”.
As the story goes, the victim got into a fight with a guy named Jerradius Willingham and, by proxy, McClain. He lost. As he was crawling to his car, McClain held a gun to the guy’s head and made him beg for his life. Instead of blowing his brains out, McClain held the gun next to the victim’s ear and fired it. He’s been charged with discharging a firearm within city limits, third degree assault, menacing and reckless endangerment. It’s the second time this year he’s been present when shots were fired. He’s 22. That’s the picture he took as he was being arrested. It’s funny, yeah, but Jesus.
“I didn’t do anything and am being treated stupidly by these policemen” is the only reason I can see to pose like Norbit in your arrest photo. If he seriously held a gun to another human being’s head and tried to blow out his ear drum because he thought it’d be funny AND posed like this as he was being taken away he is beyond f**ked. Maybe not professionally, a topic that requires tons of editorial columns to assess and over-analyze, but personally and in his physical brain he is f**ked.