Last year, we were introduced to Pauline Potter, the World’s Heaviest Living Woman according to the Guinness Book of World Records and despite what Susanne Eman might have to say about it. In retrospect, I wonder what Skinny Gossip would think about me using a picture of Kate Upton as the opposite of morbidly obese. It would probably melt her/his brain.

But I digest. It turns out that Potter, the woman who once claimed that she lives to overindulge and eat whatever she wants, is doing her best to lose weight. And it’s working. She has found a way to burn 500 calories more each day and she’s dropped from 643-lbs. to 545-lbs. So how exactly did Potter lose 98-lbs. that fast and effectively?

You must know where I’m going with this.

Read the rest of this entry »

In news that Antonio Cromartie and Travis Henry could appreciate, we’re apparently in the middle of International Cloth Diaper Awareness Week, which is a lead-in to Super Duper Hippie Time Earth Day on Sunday. But Saturday is the big day for the diaper dandies, as thousands of mothers and defeated fathers will gather in 302 cities across 16 countries for the Great Cloth Diaper Change. If you need me, I’ll be one town over for the Great Hold Your Nose and Don’t Vomit Party.

Last year, the Great Diaper Change set a Guinness World Record when 5,026 cloth diapers were changed at the exact same time. God, I hope one of those babies was wearing a “Who farted?” shirt. So why the big stink?

“Each year billions of disposable diapers enter landfills where it takes hundreds of years for them to decompose, if ever,” says Heather McNamara, Executive Director of the Real Diaper Association, a nonprofit that advocates for cloth diapers. “Building off the success of last year’s event with 127 locations in five countries, we plan to show the entire world that cloth diapers are a real option for today’s modern families, particularly catching the eye of expecting and new parents who may be seeking more planet-friendly and affordable alternatives to disposable diapers.” (Via Market Watch)

On one hand, we have our beloved environment to think about. On the other hand, a whole lotta baby poop. This is truly our generation’s greatest debate. It’s also just a reason for me to post a picture of a baby from last year’s diaper change because he’s wearing a Wu Tang t-shirt. I wasn’t aware that Danger Guerrero had a child.

Read the rest of this entry »

Forgive this escape from sports for a moment, but as always I will use the disclaimer that world records are competitive and can therefore be included on this site. Anywho, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Electric Boogaloo Part 1 was released on DVD in England over the weekend, so one promotional company, under the belief that Twihards needed extra incentive to go to great lengths to show their obsessive loyalty, decided that the occasion was perfect for a world record attempt.

That record? Longest gathering of “brides” in one location.

You see, my inside sources on Crazy Single Women Island tell me that the marriage of Edward and Bella takes place in Part 1, so it makes sense that girls would buy wedding dresses and gather in one place – HMV Oxford Street – to take pictures with cardboard cutouts and one Edward impersonator, who doesn’t exactly look like the type to use this to his advantage, if you catch my sparkly drift.

As with all Guinness World Record attempts, it will take a few days to determine whether or not the Twilight faithful were successful in defeating the previous record holders, who I ignorantly assume live in Utah.

Read the rest of this entry »

Seriously, your move Brazil.

Very rarely am I ever proud to actually admit that I live in Florida, but on days like this I’m wearing my America’s Wang t-shirt without shame. Back in October, 357 women took to Australia’s Gold Coast to break the Guinness World Record for the longest bikini parade, and I sure commended their efforts, because who can’t appreciate 357 Australian women wearing a few inches of fabric? The women of Panama City Beach, Florida, that’s who.

To be precise, 450 Floridian women gave a big thong wedgie to those ladies Down Under on Tuesday, as they strutted their stuff along the Gulf of Mexico. And boy are they proud.

“We were able to not just break the record but smash it,” said Dan Rowe, president and CEO of the Panama City Beach Convention and Visitors Bureau, which sponsored the effort. “Everybody had a great time.”

Although clearly a celebration of fun (and exposed flesh), the event also had its serious side, raising $1,000 for Beach Care Services, a local charity that provides assistance to those in need. (Via MSNBC)

Just in case you’re wondering how serious Guinness is about this specific world record, they not only make sure that every participant walks the full one-mile parade route, but they also make sure that every girl is wearing an actual bikini. Not some one-piece or, even worse, a t-shirt.

So I guess my main point is – how do I get that job?

Read the rest of this entry »

Back in 2010, I introduced us to Sheyla Hershey, a Brazilian woman in Houston living her dream of holding a world record for the largest breasts. In 2009, she had surgery to increase her 38FFF boobs to 38KKK in order to capture the record, and by 2010 she was informed by doctors that she was suffering from staph infections in both of her breasts and she needed to either have breast reduction surgery or she would eventually lose both of her breasts. Oh, and she might have died, too. I feel like that’s important.

Hershey had the surgery and surrendered her title, but then last year she told the Grim Reaper to motorboat her, because she once again enhanced her breasts back to 38KKK to reclaim her world record. And then she allegedly tried to kill herself two times. Thankfully, a very respectable party has stepped in to put a stop to this nonsense.

Just kidding, TLC is feeding the monster now. Hershey will soon be featured on the ridiculous show, My Strange Addiction, and I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before she gets her own travel show called Hershey Highway.

Read the rest of this entry »

Two weeks ago, we undid our sarcasm belts, took off our satire pants and let our honest feelings hang out as we honored and celebrated the life of Pusuke, the World’s Oldest Dog up until December 13. But when Pusuke moved on to his afterlife of sniffing butt on a farm up north, his title went up for grabs. Little did we know that a living legend was going to take it.

At the tender age of 24.5, Pip the Acrobatic Dog is now the World’s Oldest Dog, and he’s already seen more than any of us will ever see in our pathetic human lives.

Pip, a 24-and-a-half-year-old terrier/whippet cross, remarkably still performs in the Essex Dog Display Team.

‘It is wonderful to know that Pip is the oldest dog in the world and it is great to have the accolade,’ said owner Tiffany Dyer, 36, of Brentwood, Essex.

(Via Metro UK)

Alas, Pip and Tiffany may be dog poop out of luck. In order for the Guinness Book of World Records to award Pip – who has performed in front of the Queen, mind you – the title of oldest dog, he needs a birth certificate. Tiffany doesn’t have that, which, as Donald Trump has taught us, makes Pip ineligible.

Only a Hannukah miracle can help us now.