When the people at the Guinness Book of World Records released the 57th edition of the most important book to women with facial hair and men with webbed toes back in September, one man was quite pleased to open the book and see his picture next to the title, “World’s Largest Arms”. That man is Milford, Massachusetts’ own Moustafa Ismail, whose upper arms measure an insane 31-inches around, as Brandon wrote about in September. In fact, his arms are so big that people have taken to call him the Egyptian Popeye. You know, that is if he doesn’t mind.

Alas, all is not well in this Egyptian’s land, because people apparently look at a guy whose arms are the size of a place kicker’s waist and say, “Gee, I think that guy used steroids.” And these accusations weren’t just coming from random people. These were message board commenters that were calling Ismail out for alleged indiscretions, and because people on the Internet are experts at everything, Guinness has stripped Ismail of his title for the time being.

Open your heart to us, Moustafa. Open as wide as your cartoonish arms.

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We’ve made no secret in the past that us gentleman at With Leather are huge supporters of women who believe that pole dancing is a sport. There are thousands, if not tens of thousands, of women across the world who currently compete for state, regional, national and international championships in pole dancing, and I think that’s fantastic, because it totally validates all those times that I’ve gone to “competitive pole dancing” clubs for “research”. And now, I’m proud to “report” that pole dancing is making the lives of many children better as well.

Fifty-one students at Newcastle University, in an effort by the school’s pole dancing club, broke the Guinness World Record for consecutive hours of pole dancing earlier this month, after they exhibited their athletic skills for an amazing 30 hours, raising $1,500 for charity in the process. And while that may not sound like a lot of money for their efforts, perhaps next year they’ll provide an ATM for the people in attendance.

So is that easy, ladies? You know, pole dancing for 30 hours?

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We apologize for that headline. The person who wrote it has been sacked.

Last year, 16-year-old Texas cheerleader Miranda Ferguson did 20 back-handsprings. No big d. She thought she could do more, so she focused up, and this year broke the world record with a senses-(and wrist)-shattering 35 consecutive handsprings. It all went down on Friday night with Guinness Book of World Records representatives on hand to make it official, and with a learned sports blogger’s perspective, I can say objectively that she did a f**king shitload of handsprings.

According to Miranda, it was not her incredible athleticism, coordination or 45-pound frame that helped her pull off the record, it was THE FANS. Without THE FANS, she never could’ve done it. You watch too much MTV Movie Awards, Miranda, you did that by yourself and no amount of people cheering me on could will me into ONE successful handspring, let alone 35 in a row.

Video is below.

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"Play some Enya, chick babe."

Sometimes I just don’t understand how people come up with their world record attempts other than the standard excuse of, “We just felt like it.” Apparently 641 people just felt like rubbing each other’s backs yesterday in Thailand, because that’s how many masseuses it took to break the world record for the most people spontaneously massaging each other at the same time. I assume the world record for most people who couldn’t roll over for a minute because of a boner was also broken.

The previous record was set in 2010 when 263 performed massages at the same time, and I guess 2012 has just turned into the year of sh*tting all over Australia’s world records. Whatever doesn’t kill them, I suppose. Enough about Australia, let’s celebrate the people of the hour: masseuses!

“It was easy because this is what we do every day for a living,” said 53-year-old Chayanan Chanwuttisawan, one of the mostly female masseuses who took part in the event. “I’m proud of myself and my profession. I never thought we’d have a chance to be recognized like this.” (Via Bloomberg)

But the real question here is how are we supposed to take this record seriously when it was broken in such a notoriously sordid place?

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Hold your heads high, previous record holders from Australia.

Last year, we brought you the brave news of 357 Australian women who gathered to raise awareness for the lack of women wearing bikinis on a beach one day while they also broke the Guinness World Record for the longest bikini parade. Earlier this year, 450 braver American women gathered in Panama City Beach to break that record, and I’m not being sarcastic with the use of brave this time, because some scary ass people hang out in that town.

And now, in the least surprising global news of the year, the United States has once again fallen behind China. Last weekend, 1,085 women took part in a bikini parade in Huludao, China to absolutely decimate Florida’s record. But after reading this brief description of China’s effort at RT, I can’t help but think it’s a little unfair.

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Move over, World’s Fattest Woman. More. More. Move all the way over. There’s a new Guinness Book of World Records entrant in town, and he’s probably the greatest thing to ever come out of Florida since crystal meth. You know, depending on your stance on crystal meth, in which case he might just be the greatest thing to ever come out of Florida.

Either way, Happie GOATie is now the world record holder for the longest ride on a skateboard by a goat. I believe the previous world record for a skating goat was held by Kim Kardashian. *high fives Ray J, lights hand on fire* Either way, first the goats were surfing, then they were performing parkour, and now they’re skateboarding. Pretty soon, X Games athletes are going to find themselves out of work.

Also, it’s important to note that if you Google search Happie GOATie, you need to spell his name properly. If you spell it Happy Goatie, you’ll get Happy Goatee, which will take you into a terrifying wormhole of terms and pictures that you don’t ever want to experience. Trust me.

After the jump, check out Happie GOATie’s awesome skateboarding antics.

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