Picture unrelated, but it makes me laugh so much.

On this week’s episode of pissed off former professional athletes, Los Angeles Lakers legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has been a busy man lately, what with promoting his documentary, On the Shoulders of Giants, which is about the Harlem Rens and their trials and tribulations as one of, if not the, first all-black basketball teams. Rumor has it Jason Williams‘ grandfather played for them.

But Kareem has also been a wee bit upset with the Lakers because Magic Johnson has a statue outside of the Staples Center and he doesn’t. Kareem, who won 5 NBA titles with the Lakers, believes that he did as much as, if not more, than Magic in creating the modern Lakers legacy. Unfortunately for Kareem, who is also the NBA’s all-time leading scorer and 6-time MVP, the Lakers have other issues to attend to, such as retiring Shaquille O’Neal’s number before he’s even a Hall-of-Famer.

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"How does it feel to know I'm staring straight into your soul?"

Hall-of-fame pitching legend for the Phillies and resident curmudgeon of the Kentucky Senate Jim Bunning took enough time off from his never ending schedule of applying Bengay to rip Nationals demigod Stephen Strasburg a new orifice for landing on the DL after a tiny bout of shoulder inflammation that scratched him from his start last night. The 78-year-old Bunning was once one of the best pitchers of his era but is now mostly known for being an angry conservative with a keen ability for guarding the sanctity of ‘Senator only elevators‘

Complain about how hard it is to see those tiny cell phone numbers with us, Jimmy:

“Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball,” Bunning, a Kentucky senator who hurled a perfect game in 1964 and struck out 2,855 batters in his Major League career. “What a joke!”

Bunning had taken an interest in Strasburg, who like the Kentucky senator is a fire-ball hurling right-hander. The senator has seen the Nationals ace four times and was at the ballpark Tuesday night, he said. But he clearly didn’t like what he saw – or rather didn’t see – when the youngster didn’t take the mound.

“My arm!” Bunning sarcastically cried as he pretended to clutch his shoulder in the Capitol’s Statuary Hall. -Politico

My opinion? Bunning should stick to what aging republicans do best, which is shooting fellow old people with birdshot on quail hunts to help thin out the herd in this already overpopulated land. It’s the Lord’s work, and I can’t wait until I’m old enough to get away with doing it because I’ve already got the person I want to shoot all picked out.

More like Baby, baby, baby OWWWW, amirite?

Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley competed in the American Century Championship celebrity golf tournament over the weekend, but the real story in Lake Tahoe was Ray Romano’s hilarious jokes. Just kidding, nobody cares about Ray. But NBC still cares about LeBron James signing with the Miami Heat and his good friends Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, so reporters asked the two legendary former NBA stars what they thought about this union of epic *fart noise* proportions, and they each gave their opinion, albeit in dissimilar fashions.

Jordan, the consummate gentleman and owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, recognized that there’s a difference between the LeBron NBA* and the Jordan NBA, and while he doesn’t necessarily agree with how James, Wade and Bosh have done things, he doesn’t fault them either. But he also didn’t hold back in whipping it out, measuring it and reminding everyone that he’s Michael F-ing Jordan.

Retire for a season to suck at baseball, New York Post:

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Through his first three starts, Washington Nationals rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg has a 2-0 record, and has recorded 32 strikeouts with a 1.86 ERA. His two home starts have been sellouts – which for the Washington Nationals are as rare as a sorority house virgin – and his start at Cleveland gave the Indians a 4,000 ticket boost in sales. Needless to say, the buzz around the 21-year old has some MLB pundits saying his presence could be a huge attraction at the 2010 All-Star Game next month. If only somebody would completely miss the point…

Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and ESPN announcer and Hall-of-Famer Joe Morgan openly disagree with this notion, seeing as Strasburg didn’t join a MLB roster until this month, making him far less deserving than pitchers that have been around since Opening Day. While they acknowledge the potential of the former No. 1 pick in the 2009 MLB Draft, Baker and Morgan just don’t think it’s his time yet.

Hey Joe Morgan, have you been around baseball a long time and seen stars come and go?

“I think he’s going to be a great pitcher, like everyone else thinks. He’s going to be great, but that shouldn’t make you skip things,” Morgan said. “I was here when J.R. Richard pitched and no one wanted to put him on the All-Star team after he struck out 15 in his first game.

“I’ve seen phenoms before. I don’t think there’s any doubt he’s going to be a great pitcher, but I don’t think you should come here and leapfrog guys who have been doing this all year.” Via Fanhouse

Baker agrees with Morgan’s comments, and of course he would. His Reds have greatly benefited from the outstanding performance of their own rookie badass, Mike Leake, who is 5-1 with a 2.92 ERA and 58 strikeouts through 14 starts. Baker’s Reds have also been neck-and-neck with the St. Louis Cardinals, who are the benefactors of a breakout season by rookie Jaime Garcia, who is 6-3 with a 1.59 ERA and 66 strikeouts. Baker and Morgan certainly have one hell of an argument right there.

That is, until you factor in that every MLB team has to be represented by at least one player at the All-Star Game, and seeing as no Nationals players are currently leading any position voting, and there is only one Washington player (Pudge Rodriguez) even in a Top 5 battle right now, it could also be argued that the guy who has actually created excitement about baseball in a city that has had to suffer through the post-Ripken Baltimore Orioles and accept being the landing spot for the defunct Expos could be a solid draw come July 13 in Anaheim. I mean, unless the fans would rather have Adam Dunn’s usual record-setting strikeout pace. Because who wouldn’t want to watch that?