Cagequest’s inaugural event took place last weekend in Lakewood, Washington, and if “make me vomit like seven times watching a guy’s leg snap at the bone and go all wonky” was their objective, they can consider the quest a success.

What you’re watching (or hopefully not watching) is fighter Justin Lee Fowler lifting opponent Bryan Jones Jr. up in a fireman’s carry and walking him to the middle of the ring. In a better world, he just kinda sets him down and they go out for milkshakes. In this one, Fowler slams Jones down leg-first and suddenly Ronda Rousey’s arm gymnastics don’t look so bad.

If you ask me, Fowler missed a great opportunity to stand over Jones’ body and pump his fists with the crowd chanting his name:

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Before today, my only knowledge of the Shrine Circus is that they put out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at every local grocery store, charge you five dollars to park, reveal at the gate that each individual ticket is forty dollars and you can’t get a refund on parking.

Thankfully, this video of cyclist Josh Headford crashing 30 feet to the ground at The Dow Event Center during a jump on Sunday has given me a new talking point: how funny it is when a circus ringmaster has to say “this is serious, get help” but can’t stop talking in his ringmaster voice. Some-bod-ay SCREEEEEAM!

According to Bob’s Blitz, Hedford broke his shoulder blade, femur, wrist and elbow. His son is already in the process of becoming the new Robin.

What you’re looking at is the horrible, swollen, surgically-repaired hand of UFC bantamweight champ Dominick Cruz. He broke it beating Demetrious Johnson on October 1, and with a history of hand injuries he decided to rest and repair it, and take a bunch of pictures to post on Twitter. Because hey, if your hand gets all gross like that what’re you supposed to do, keep it to yourself?

I couldn’t quite put my Vienna sausage-sized monster finger on what the injury reminded me of, but as I was resizing the image, it hit me. It looks exactly like the poster for Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence.

I’ve included said poster after the jump and encourage you to compare the images for yourself, keeping in mind that the Human Centipede poster is a little unsafe for work, but not any more so than dude’s blood bubbling hand vagina.

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Alternate title: e’ouch

Before you can even type “Albert Pujols out 4-6 weeks following wrist injury”, the Internet has turned itself inside out reacting to Kansas City Royal Wilson Betemit’s Flash-on-Anti-Monitor run into Albert’s glove, showing us that the world’s most powerful living entity can feel pain, and that when he feels it, he does a weird little hop to show it.

Of course, if what’d happened to Pujols happened to me I wouldn’t have hopped weird, I would’ve collapsed into a screaming mess there by first base and hyperventilated until I passed out and somebody dragged me to a local medical facility. In the even that you haven’t seen the play from Sunday, hop over to embed-unfriendly MLB.com and check it out. It isn’t Theismann’s Leg bad, but it might make your wrist hurt for the rest of the day.

So, what does this mean for the Cardinals? It means more Lance Berkman. Anybody excited about that? Maybe Red Schoendienst has an extra pair of homer-hitting pants that Berkman can wear until Pujols heals. The Cards have been doing all right without Adam Wainwright, so the loss of Albert will be the next step in the social experiment to see how many players you have to take away from a team before they start playing like the Spring Twins.

[via The Entire Internet]

This is Rocco Amendola, a senior at Norwin High School in North Huntingdon, PA, who looks a bit like Randy Quaid because he was hit in the face by an errant warmup throw and lost an eye. He was walking through the dugout one day last June when an outfielder overthrew a reserve. Amendola caught it with his eye socket. He broke a bunch of bones in his face and doctors removed his eyeball. They literally took his eyeball out of his head and told him he’d never play baseball again.

This season, he’s batting over .400.

“I had my doubts,” Norwin coach Mike Liebdzinski said. “I wouldn’t say I’m amazed, but I am surprised.”

Mr. Amendola, who bats seventh in the lineup, is hitting .429 with a double and one RBI. He has helped Norwin to a 5-0 record.

He’s left-handed, so his good eye (his “actual eye”) is his lead eye at the plate. After reteaching himself to bat from a tee, Amendola now has “no limitations,” as depth perception is I guess an overrated sabermetric concept. Amendola hopes to play ball in college, and even if his batting average drops a hundred points, he’ll still be better with one eye than Aubrey Huff with two.

You can read more about this kid’s amazing story in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, but I have to warn you that the article was either written up by a teenager with authority issues or Marcy from the Peanuts, because there is a lot of “mister” going around. Mr. Amendola took a swing. Then Mr. Amendola talked to Mr. Liebdzinski and then went to see Mr. Doctor. Come on, kid, you’re writing on the Internet now, show some disrespect.

Adorable San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey was absolutely ENDED by Scott Cousins during a play at the plate last night, and the news keeps getting worse. Posey has a broken leg and torn ligaments, and it looks like his season is over. Hopefully that’s all that he’ll miss, because hits like this are usually followed by Faces of Death transitional graphics.

If you watch the video it was a clean play at the plate, Posey just got hit so hard he nearly traveled back in time. He missed the ball and turned into it face first. Posey’s agent is using the 13-year old star’s injury as a call to arms against Major League Baseball.

“You leave players way too vulnerable,” Berry said. “I can tell you Major League Baseball is less than it was before [Posey's injury]. It’s stupid. I don’t know if this ends up leading to a rule change, but it should. The guy [at the plate] is too exposed.

“If you go helmet to helmet in the NFL, it’s a $100,000 fine, but in baseball, you have a situation in which runners are [slamming into] fielders. It’s brutal. It’s borderline shocking. It just stinks for baseball. I’m going to call Major League Baseball and put this on the radar. Because it’s just wrong.”

Maybe next year catchers will sit in a dunk tank at home plate, and runners will only be safe if they can slide directly into the target. I know I run the risk of sounding like a “traditionalist” (whatever that is), but I think nonstop rule changes aren’t the problem with baseball. I think “put Buster Posey in a suit of armor, sue everybody, change everything” is a pretty misguided attempt at baseball justice, and that “holy sh** Buster Posey got wrecked, let’s make sure he’s okay again at some point during the rest of his life” is the more constructive approach.

[video @ MLB.com]