I’m not going to call them “grenades” anymore because people on the Internet know way too much about the semantics of what is and isn’t a grenade (“grenades have shrapnel!”), but this is the third story in two months we’ve written about soccer fans indiscriminately tossing explosives at soccer players, and I’ve got to ask … why is this a thing? Seriously, why are you trying to bomb the soccer guys?

The first story happened in Iran, where a player almost lost a hand disposing of what he thought was tossed garbage. A month later, a player gets injured during a Cypriot soccer match and fans throw firecrackers at him to “teach him a lesson” about not taunting them. Now, a first-division soccer match in Argentina gets suspended because somebody threw a bomb at a goalkeeper and nearly exploded his eardrums.

Again, why is this a thing? I guess “insanity” is a viable excuse, or maybe a surplus of bombs and nobody around but soccer players to murder, but can’t we find a way to riot about soccer without bombs and walls of flame? Jesus Christ, soccer, come on.

[h/t to Larry Brown Sports]

So, uh, this happened.

During a local club match in Isfahan, Iran some spectators threw a hand grenade on field, a player found it and thought it was some other object and threw it on sidelines just in time, if he had done this a few seconds later his hand would have been blasted.The game was called off and police have started investigating this case.

In case you somehow did not fixate on that blockquote for 20 minutes, SOMEBODY THREW A GRENADE ON THE FIELD DURING A SOCCER GAME. And sure, maybe I’m just a sheltered American guy who doesn’t know the hardships of the world or whatever and stuff like this happens every day, but stuff like this doesn’t happen every day because holy shit a dude threw a grenade onto the field during a soccer game.

Video of a guy seriously throwing a goddamn grenade onto the field during a soccer game is after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

Another YouTube, another crazy manager.  Mississippi Braves manager Phillip Wellman took issue with an umpire's call last night: 

Watch out Carrot Top, give this guy two bases and a rosin bag and you'll be relegated to pay phone commercials. Oh wait . . . but this does give me a good idea.  How about putting one real grenade on the pitcher's mound in case the hurler throws himself into a jam.  For example, if Albert Pujols is at the plate, and the bases are loaded, and your name is Brad Lidge.  "Here you go Albertus Magnus! Try and hit this, you Latin heartthrob son of a bitch!"  Just don't hold it too long, or you might end up like Mrs. Glick's brother Asa when he attempted to toss one at Kaiser Bill in the Great War. -KD

(Eternal rewards to Jay for the tip.)