"And then I gave her an extra $1,000 to take a dump on my chest."

Last night, as I was initially excited to watch what felt like the first honest-to-Cthulhu good Thursday Night Football game of the season, word broke across the Twitters and some sports network that doesn’t like to source other reporters that the San Antonio Spurs would be playing without the team’s stars – Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker – against the Miami Heat. And I had to turn away from Kate Upton to do a spit take because I was like, “Well why in the H-E-Hockey-Lockout would Gregg Popovich do that?”

It turns out that he had a pretty darn good reason.

Meanwhile, the game was actually fantastic. I get a kick out of joking that San Antonio is the most boring team in sports, but they’re obviously not and they proved that by leading the Heat the majority of the game before ultimately falling to Miami, 105-100. So what’s the big deal then? Teams play and lose all the time, and teams certainly rest their starters. Well, David Stern ain’t having that nonsense.

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It’s not as low-rent as the Oklahoma City Thunder shilling Jeeps, but here are the San Antonio Spurs in a commercial for steaks from Texas supermarket chain H-E-B because, hey, I have that grocery store!

Fun fact: They say H-E-B stands for “here everything’s better,” but it actually stands for “Howard Edward Butt”. BUY YOUR GROCERIES AT BUTT. (via Bush League Chronicle)

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Links

Writer’s Room: Audiences More Entertaining Than the Movie |Film Drunk|

15 Super Famous Actors Who You May Not Have Known Played Football |With Leather|

Ranking All Of Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s 28 Nicknames |UPROXX|

Today We Learned Sue Heck From ‘The Middle’ Is Super Cute In Real Life |Warming Glow|

Let’s Talk Possible ‘Episode VII’ Directors |Gamma Squad|

Big Boi And Andre 3000 Speak On Outkast’s Future … Separately |Smoking Section|

Tiki Barber Is Hilariously Desperate For Money |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Great, now we’re gonna get a bunch of “I Want Some Nasty Grandma” Google search traffic. (via Sportress of Blogitude)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

10 Examples Of Triple H Being The Worst Thing To Happen To Wrestling |Smoking Section|

Thirty of Our Favorite Gaming GIFs |Gamma Squad|

This Is Streets Ahead: ‘Community’ Art Show ‘Six Seasons And A Movie’ |UPROXX|

Why ‘Deadwood’ Is the New ‘The Wire’ |Warming Glow|

Exclusive Storyboard from GI Joe 2 Reshoots |Film Drunk|

About Time Somebody Gave Tom Brady Sh*t For His Horrible Regional Accent |With Leather|

Nicolas Cage In Every Role In ‘Star Wars’ |UPROXX|

If Iron Maiden’s ‘The Number Of The Beast’ Is The Best British Album Ever, What’s The Best American? |UPROXX|

Justin Bieber – “Die In Your Arms” |Smoking Section|

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I took a couple weeks off from doing these here ROFLMNBAO posts for two reasons: 1) because the last two weeks of the season were soooooo boring and B) I forgot. But I figured what better time than now to resume posting these NBA meme pictures since the news that they’re so in demand. Form a line to the left, attractive girls who want to give me money to create ridiculously corny-sounding sites!

Also, I figured it was a better time than any for this week’s installment with the playoffs in full swing and individual awards being presented by the league. As we already know, Tyson Chandler is the Defensive Player of the Year, Jason Kidd received the Sportsmanship Award and Gregg Popovich is the Coach of the Year. “What about the other awards?” you ask while peeling apart the pages of my vintage Hustler collection. The NBA is taking its sweet ass time with those, so I’m issuing my own awards.

A lot happened in this condensed season, so it’s only fair that we recognize everyone for their efforts.

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If you’re a San Antonio fan, that headline sure scared you, huh? When you keep reading, though, you’ll figure out what I mean. Don’t worry; that’s just how a great attention-grabbing headline works, ya dingus!

Anyway, the Spurs lost to the Knicks last night 128-115, and if I look at my notes here, those are the most points allowed by the Spurs since 1997, when Tim Duncan was a rookie. So I’m sure everyone on the team was happy when they heard the news of their record breaking. Oh wait, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich actually benched all his starters with three minutes and a 10-point deficit.
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