Bottoms Up: 30 Vintage Sports Beer Ads To Send You Into The Weekend

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.05.12

I’m a huge sucker for anything Americana, which is why I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong era, but then I wouldn’t want to live in any decade that didn’t have the Internet or white rappers. That sh*t would be crazy boring, yo. But with the shameful soul of a hipster, I love to look at the past and admire how easy those schmucks had it, you know, aside from the wars and polio and stuff like that. At least people in the 50s only had newspapers, radio and one TV channel to scare the crap out of them. I shiver thinking about FOX News and MSNBC terrorizing us through the Cold War.

So what’s my point, you ask, well it’s that this morning I fell into one of my typical Internet wormholes thanks to the above image of an ad that Budweiser ran to celebrate Miguel Cabrera becoming the first Major League Baseball player to win the Triple Crown since 1967. Being an old soul, I still think that winning the Triple Crown is an amazing achievement, so I like to ignore the new breed of VORPers and WAR mongers when they say that Miggy shouldn’t win the MVP. But that’s another argument for another day.

I started perusing the webs for other vintage beer ads and I came to several conclusions: 1) Beer companies in the 40s and 50s wanted people to die, because they loved suggesting that people drink while doing things like skiing and riding horses; 2) Being an ad exec back then must have been 10-times cooler than Mad Men suggests; 3) White people, am I right?; and 4) I’m thirsty now.

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Carl’s Jr. Wins Everything

Written by Ashley Burns / 02.27.12

Over the weekend, one of the most controversial subjects we’ve ever debated on this site came to a head, as Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model and 2011 With Leather Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year Kate Upton finally openly discussed the elephant in the room. And obviously that elephant is her, because she’s a fatty fatty two-by-four, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

Obviously I’m being facetious, but people on these here Interwebs are still trying to give Upton a complex about her curves, and I’ll say it a million times over – if Kate Upton is fat, then Kirstie Alley is a f*cking planet.

Over the weekend, though, Upton’s latest endorsement deal didn’t necessarily help her cause, as Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s released their newest commercial for the Southwest Patty Melt, featuring Upton forever altering the way we will look at our girlfriends as they eat hamburgers. I hope the people responsible for all of Geico’s commercials watch this ad and then think long and hard about their next screaming pig commercial. Seriously, guys, cut it out already.

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