There’s no delicate way to phrase this. The Lingerie Football League, wherein women play 7-on-7 tackle American football wearing helmets and their underwear for male fans not satisfied with the physicality of pre-existing cheerleaders, has decided that lingerie football is empowering to women and are looking to start a version of the league for children. “Fully clothed, of course!” says the report, and the statement issued by founder and chairman (and man, and possible GEICO Caveman) Mitchell Mortaza is even less reassuring.

“Obviously the improvement of our game is directly tied into the development of the future LFL athlete. What excites us at the league is seeing the caliber of athletes improve so vastly each season, now imagine in five years when we start fielding athletes that have trained their entire life for the opportunity to play LFL Football.”

Yes. Imagine. Then, imagine how exciting it would be if they could play football without their vagina hanging out.

You can check out a report from Seattle’s King5.com after the jump, followed quickly by five things terrible about it.

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The savvy gentlemen at Buzzfeed discovered an old magazine ad for a pen pal club for wrestling fans yesterday and it might be the most magnificent thing I’ve seen all month. Basically, people between the ages of 6 and 60 could register for this pen pal service – and presumably as sex offenders years later – and they could send each other letters about wrestling and their favorite stars and the guys they hate, and maybe some of the kids opened their envelopes to find strange pictures of a finger. Wait, that’s not a finger!

But I’m not here today to flame the wrasslin’ faithful, as even someone as handsome and poetic as myself once loved watching “The Model” Rick Martel. This collection of excerpts from the pen pal ad must be shared because it’s pretty much everything you could expect from an ad about wrestling pen pals. Except I’m upset that nobody listed the Bushwhackers as their favorite tag team. They’re clearly the greatest of all-time and I will not argue this.

Anywho, check out the unintentional perv nature of this service and then call your uncle Patrick and tell him you now know his dirty secret.

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