Image via TMZ in case that's not clear.

Last week it was reported that eventual free agent running back Cedric Benson was arrested for beating up his roommate, Clavens Charles, after an argument on the street. As you can tell from the image above, “beating up” may be a tad understated. Regardless, Benson claimed that he acted in self-defense after the two started fighting over their living situation.

According to TMZ:

Clavens claimed he and Benson “began to talk and argue about their living arrangements when all of the sudden Clavens was struck on the left side of his face with a closed fist thrown by Benson.”

“Clavens went on to say that Benson continued to strike him with several more closed fists all over Clavens face resulting in severe injury to his face.”

Clavens told police he was experiencing “severe bleeding from the mouth, possible loss of teeth and massive swelling of the left cheek.”

I’ve had some pretty nasty arguments with my roommates in the past, but holy sweet fancy goodness, man. That’s some serious conflict resolution right there. Benson was released on $10,000 bail and the Cincinnati Bengals were quick to point out that he used to play for them and this was not their problem, despite the lockout and that whole not being able to talk to him rule.

Needless to say, Charles is suing for damages, and his lawyer claimed that he’s already racked up thousands of dollars in bills. Benson should be able to swing the fees, since there should be a team willing to take a chance on a solid RB with anger issues and a violent criminal past. So we’ll see Benson next year in… Cincinnati.

Have you ever sat down to watch a football game and though to yourself “This needs at least 50% more ass kicking?” Well, the Brutal Fight Football League has heard your pleas, and taken pity upon your miserable soul. These lovers of all-things-violent are trying to revive the ancient Roman sport Harpastum, which soliders used to train for battle. And, as we all know, Roman soldiers were known for their love of rape and murder. Thankfully, Wikipedia exists, so I can find out what the hell Harpastum is without looking like a nerd at the library. Libraries. What a waste of my tax dollars. Thank God I have all of those off shore expense accounts.

“Harpastum, which used to be called Phaininda, is the game I like most of all. Great are the exertion and fatigue attendant upon contests of ball-playing, and violent twisting and turning of the neck. Hence Antiphanes, “Damn it, what a pain in the neck I’ve got.” He describes the game thus: “He seized the ball and passed it to a team-mate while dodging another and laughing. He pushed it out of the way of another. Another fellow player he raised to his feet. All the while the crowd resounded with shouts of Out of bounds, Too far, Right beside him, Over his head, On the ground, Up in the air, Too short, Pass it back in the scrum.” –Wikipedia

Keep in mind, the Roman definition of violent is much different than ours. They would watch people get mauled by lions for entertainment. We, on the other-hand, won’t let kids watch Pulp Fiction before they turn 16. We should; the sooner they know the difference between coke and heroin the better. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »