It wasn’t too long ago that Cleveland Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore was one of the hottest young stars in baseball. Between 2005 and 2008, he had all the makings of a classic 5-tool player, posting four 100-run seasons and showing increasing promise in home runs, RBI and stolen bases. But in 2009, he started having issues with his elbow and soon after he had problems with his left knee. In 2011, he made his comeback and then hit the DL a few times with a sports hernia and some right knee problems, and it seemed like the Indians were never going to be able to trade him to a contender for a bunch of prospects that they could also later trade.

But none of that matters now because Sizemore is in love and he’s marrying his longtime, on-and-off-again girlfriend, Brittany Binger, who you might know better as Playboy’s Miss June 2007. Sizemore and the 24-year old model have had a fun relationship over the last few years, highlighted by Binger’s infamous cell phone “hacking” which led to some risqué bulge photos (semi-NSFW and something for the ladies) of Sizemore winding up online.

I know I definitely speak for our resident Indians homer, Brandon, when I say that we wish Sizemore nothing but happiness and hope that he can return to form next season during his 1-year, $5 million deal so the Indians will trade him to the St. Louis Cardinals for another World Series run. L’chaim!

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From 2002-2006, first baseman Ben Broussard kept it simple, putting a hex on The Tribe by batting .260 and handling Jhonny Peralta’s off-center lobs like fastballs from Shawon Dunston. Now he’s taking a more esoteric approach, causing Cleveland to lose seven of their last ten by being the brother of Megan Broussard, the lady in the middle of the “Anthony Weiner’s last name is ‘weiner’ and he sent a lady a bunch of pictures of his wiener” scandal, a scandal I like to call “Anthony-Gate.”

The Beaumont Enterprise uncovered (get it) the connection between the Broussards, both Beaumont natives. I know you guys hate it when real life issues interfere with your fantasy sports, so here’s a little hilarious recap from ABC News:

Broussard, who describes herself as disinterested in politics and previously unaware of Weiner, said that she has never met the congressman in person and doesn’t “think he’s a bad guy.” And, she said, she actively participated in “sexting” — as she has done frequently with other men online — with the man she presumed to be Weiner.

During one flirtatious Facebook chat last month, Broussard said, she issued the man on the other end a challenge.

“I asked him to take a picture and write ‘me’ on it so I would know,” Broussard said in an interview.

The reply, she says, came moments later.

They make sure to add a little woman-blaming, in case the Indians were still trying to win that f**king Central Division.

After Weiner, who’s married, admitted to texting sexual messages and photos to several women yesterday, Meagan was quick to pounce on her 15 minutes.

Ben Broussard’s Twitter has been inactive since June 2, and yes, I did not know Ben Broussard had a Twitter until I started writing this article. Maybe as the season goes on and Detroit wins more and more games, we’ll find out that Fausto Carmona is the guy that leaked the Blake Lively photos and that Travis Hafner is actually Tito Ortiz, which is why he’s always taking so much time off. I’m going to go ahead and blame this on Grady Sizemore for taking those cheesecake pictures of himself years ago and starting the Indians Sext Ball rolling. Somebody check Ben’s phone and make sure he hasn’t been sending dong pix to Madeleine Albright.

[H/T Busted Coverage]

Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore is what passes for a sex object in Cleveland. Actually, anything that’s not covered with staph makes for quality enticement of horniness up there. Hey, if people were actually getting laid up there, they wouldn’t have had time to set their river on fire. Yes, we know that was 40 years ago. No, we don’t care.

Anyway, Sizemore had his elbow scoped earlier this morning [it was inflamed or some crap like that], but he goes back under the knife next week to fix his athletic publagia, which is just as boner-stifling as it sounds.

It is a syndrome characterized by chronic groin pain in athletes and a dilated superficial ring of the inguinal canal. Soccer and ice hockey players are affected most frequently, and both recreational and professional athletes may be affected. A hernia cannot be found on physical examination or medical imaging, and is not revealed during surgery. The term hernia thus is a misnomer, but has persisted… Wiki.

So it’s a sports hernia, which apparently is not a hernia at all. Either way, sounds awesome…ly bad. Man, athletes in Cleveland can’t catch a break. If the city had an NHL team, the rink would melt and half the team would drown. But that would clear the evening for indoor waterskiing, which is the best kind of waterskiing there is. Aside from, you know, outdoor waterskiiing. That’s a little better. Read the rest of this entry »

Something I had yet to realize until today was that the Browns' drafting of Brady Quinn puts Grady Sizemore's title of "Undisputed Sports Hunk of Cleveland" in question.  Sizemore, the Indians centerfielder, has a well-known fan club called Grady's Ladies, but does he dance? 

In an effort to resolve the issue, Cleveland.com has a tale of the tape to determine which pretty "rady" the city prefers.  Which is where things get interesting.  Sizemore seems to be a pretty average guy — he likes steak, his lone hobby is PlayStation 2, and his favorite show is "Sex and the City for Dipshits," also known as "Entourage."  Quinn's a little more… let's be nice and call it "complex." He scores point for saying his favorite movie is Little Miss Sunshine, but when you look at some of his other favorites (TV show: "Grey's Anatomy" — nuff said), it's hard not to think he identifies most with the little girls competing in the beauty pageant.

And who can blame him?  Who hasn't felt that lifelong pressure to be prettier than the other girls?  My therapist says it's why I cut myself.