If you can get past that whole “They’ll stab you if you look at them wrong” vibe that they carry so well, Oakland Raiders fans are a pretty fascinating bunch. For starters, they put up with so much, from years of inept ownership and horrible decision-making to, well, that pretty much says it all right there. But they’re a loyal crew, as they sit patiently through season-after-season of Darren McFadden injuries and porous defenses, while the Denver Broncos pile up wins around them. Hey, at least they aren’t Kansas City Chiefs fans, amiright guy with spikes all over his body?

Anyway, GQ recently sent reporter Lauren Bans to a Raiders game to embed herself in a crew of female Raiders fans that included women who refer to themselves as “Metal Cindy” and “Dre of the Dead”, among others. It’s a fantastic read, and I encourage you to check it out in between crying over poor gambling decisions today, but this is probably the most important excerpt…

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Yesterday I wrote a little about sexy Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke, and how we’d helped make her life miserable by exposing her to the creepy nooks of sexy and parody on the Internet. That got me thinking a lot about Kate Upton, a woman who purposefully used the Internet to wedge herself into those nooks, and how she’d been cyclically berated and celebrated by the Internet all year. Then I thought a little more about her, and I had to lie down.

The go-to spot online for bizarre online worship (assuming you don’t want a Chan page popping up in your browser history) is DeviantArt.com, a place where people of varying artistic ability upload their work, mention how they put no effort into it and showed it to you for no reason, then obsessively beg you for praise. So, uh … it’s like a blog, but in crappy sketch form.

Anyway, with Kate’s rise to prominence in 2012 via Sports Illustrated and Cat Daddying comes an increase presence on DeviantArt, so I’ve put together a collection of my favorite pieces. Inside: Kate being beaten up by Street Fighter characters, a little tentacle porn and a Nightmare On Elm Street crossover.

Yeah, I don’t know either.

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Kate Upton’s GQ cover is already the stuff of legend, and somehow it keeps getting better. Case in point: ‘The Many Talents Of Kate Upton’, a “bonus” video shot by Richardson where he finds 7 different reasons for Kate to make her boobs move around. It’s a wonderful thing done for awful reasons to a wonderful person by an awful person, or some combination of those words. I can barely type, because it features the pay-off to that wet t-shirt teaser GQ sent over to us last week.

Full video, courtesy of Terry Richardson’s Tumblr, is after the jump because it gets pretty NSFW at the end. If you’re really into not being safe for work, we’ve included Terry’s gif on the moment as a bonus.

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Independence Day has already long been my favorite religious American holiday, as I don’t think a three-day weekend can get much better than grilled meat, fireworks, and booze. All it’s really missing is football. To think, if the pilgrims had stopped in Tennessee on their way to have Thanksgiving dinner with the Native Americans, then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

Alas, I digress. The 4th of July does, in fact, get better as GQ’s upcoming cover shows us with the reigning With Leather Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year, Kate Upton, showing off her love of America. Although, I’m wondering if those Astro Pop calories are a good thing for her, what with some people thinking she’s a little too curvy.

Here, let me offer up a healthier alternative cover…

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… as it’s not supposed to be all over the Internet already. We get along with the nice folks over at GQ so we’re honoring their request. As an added bonus, they sent over a teaser video asking us to guess which model’s on that cover, and the logistics of that don’t really matter because it’s Kate Upton in a wet t-shirt.

You guys had better deliver on this. You’d better deliver.

(The original post should be back up tomorrow. Just think “Kate Upton and popsicles” if you haven’t seen it already).

Brooklyn Decker has made a smooth transition from model to movie star with her roles as the object of Adam Sandler’s bikini’d affection in Just Go With It and as Lieutenant Commander Whoever in the upcoming blockbuster Battleship, but we’ll always remember her as the wife of tennis star Andy Roddick and as the lady from the cover of the 2010 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Why? Because we’re a sports blog, and if we remember her like that we get to keep writing about her.

It is in that spirit that we present to you Brooklyn’s latest Battleship-promoting photoshoot for GQ. You’d think Brooklyn Decker in wet underwear would be the highlight (and it probably is), but don’t miss out on this paragraph from the interview where she reveals that she’d have sex with Gisele Bündchen.

wha wha whaaat

For instance, there’s her long, spirited defense of Gisele Bündchen for her ungracious post–Super Bowl, mama-grizzly remarks about Tom Brady’s teammates (Bündchen was caught on-camera fuming, “My husband cannot f**king throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time”), which Decker wraps up by admitting her Bündchen bias: “I have a top-five list, and Gisele is my number one. So she can do no wrong in my eyes.” Hold on—what kind of list is this, exactly? “Well, everyone has a top-five list of their biggest crushes, you know?” says Decker. “Usually, it’s guys on my list, but Gisele is just so perfect in every way.”

Two videos from the shoot follow, if you read that and your brain didn’t reboot. And be sure to check out the rest of the photos at GQ.

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