I don’t know, that shot to the twisty lighthouse looks fake. (Via The Sun)

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If you’re the type who enjoys golf and wouldn’t be caught dead refreshing a sports blog all night to laugh at pro wrestling jokes, be sure to check out the season premieres of ‘The Haney Project’ and ‘Feherty’ tonight on The Golf Channel.

‘Haney’ starts at 9 PM EST and ‘Faherty’ follows at 10. It’s all the fun of golf with like 99% less walking.

Click here for more info on The Haney Project and Feherty on Golf Channel

Every time Tiger Woods fails to win a tournament these days, his lack of effort is usually followed by a few hundred newspaper and Internet columns declaring his career over and done. Today is no different, after Woods put up a pooptastic 75 in the final round of the Pebble Beach Pro-Am yesterday and watched as Phil Mickelson strolled right by him with a 64 to win the event.

“Stick a dagger in him!” the columnists yell, as they wipe donut crumbs on their laptops and listen to Mickelson revel in the lopsided nature of this once dominated rivalry.

“I just feel very inspired when I play with him,” the Californian said of Woods. “I love playing with him, and he brings out some of my best golf.

“I hope that he continues to play better and better, and I hope that he and I have a chance to play together more in final rounds.” (Via Reuters)

In fairness, it seemed like Mickelson was being genuine about his hopes for Woods, and God knows the PGA needs El Tigre to get his act back together for the sake of ratings and general interest. But I offer a bit more hypothetical solution for the PGA and Woods, at least for the Pro-Am events – don’t pair Woods with Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo anymore.

In fact, don’t pair anyone with Romo anymore. It just seems unfair to leave golfers making this face for an entire day…

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The story: A guy on a message board somewhere posted a thing about how golf pro Phil Mickelson and his wife were cheating on each other a la “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” and mentioned that Lefty had fathered an illegitimate child. It’s probably not true, because nothing on the Internet is true, and if it is, who cares?

Well, apparently Phil Mickelson is new to the Internet, because the Cyber Police have been contacted and he’s gonna find you online and fight you in real life:

As funny as “Phil Mickelson didn’t f**k a lady” is as “breaking news”, that’s not the best part. Neither are his outstanding reaction of “well I NEVER!” or his monocle coming loose and falling into his wine glass.

No, the very best part is TMZ’s write up of the non-events, which starts with “sinking his putts” as a euphemism for cheating on his wife and runs headlong into what could be the greatest and most melodramatic use of boldface in Internet history:

Oh no, not an Internet Service Provider! I hope he doesn’t use a telecommunications device that transmits and receives sounds to call his lawyer!

Let me see if I can get in on this. Phil Mickelson once f**ked a dog. That is a true thing he has done. Come at me, bro.

What do you do if you’re one of the most popular professional golfers in America and you have $110,000 burning a hole in your pocket? According to Golf.com’s Press Tent, you spend it on the original “Dukes of Hazard” General Lee Dodge Charger, of course. At least that’s what Bubba Watson did over the weekend at a car auction in Scottsdale, Arizona, or as I like to call it – the city that is home to my very racist aunt.

Watson was elated when he made his purchase as he quickly took to Twitter to post a picture of him with his new pride and joy, calling it his “dream car.”

AutoBlog.com also justified Watson’s purchase, declaring it the most famous TV car in the world.

What’s “the most famous television car in the world”? We suppose that depends on who you ask, but to many, nothing but the General Lee could possibly hold the title. Of course, there wasn’t just one General Lee. In fact, scores of orange Dodge Chargers were filmed for “The Dukes of Hazzard,” and most of them never survived their first televised escapade.

And that’s where we’re going to agree to disagree, because I would gladly put KITT and the A*Team van over the General Lee any day. Hell, I’d argue that Becky Belding’s Mazda Miata was more important because it helped bring Jessie Spano together with her stepbrother Eric, but to each his own, I suppose.

There is one little problem that Watson may face down the road, and that’s resale value. This General Lee – the very first actual Charger used in the pilot episode of Dukes – spent most of its life in a junkyard because it was trashed after the first jump. And despite completely restoring it to perfect running order, the original owner was expecting almost a half million dollars for his effort.

But hey, if it makes Watson happy, then who are we to judge? One little request, though: Watson should make his caddy legally change his name to Cooter. And hire Natalie Gulbis to play Daisy Duke. That would be swell.

Two weeks ago, we mentioned that Tiger Woods’ ex-wife Elin Nordegren (inset, attractive) had bulldozed her $12 million home, with very little reasoning or explanation other than she didn’t like it. Turns out that was a little off, thank goodness, because she had somehow found a way to make herself into at least 1/10th of the villain that El Tigre had.

Nordegren recently defended her decision and explained with verification from her construction team that the house was a death trap, as it had been riddled by termites and rot, which I assume is also her nickname for Woods’ genitals.

So not only does she have a great reason for having to tear down the house that will now ultimately cost her close to $25 million, but she also made the best of it for the sake of helping charity. Before the house was demolished, Nordegren had the construction workers go through the house and salvage anything they could – chandeliers, window frames, doors, etc. – and she donated them all to Habitat for Humanity.

You know, if she wasn’t already seeing another billionaire, I might have considered dating this woman.

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