I am going to say this one more time, calmly: holy shit you guys, three legged alligators are terrorizing the Zurich Classic.

Regular gators, too, but STUMPY (!) is especially dangerous. He lost a leg at some point in his long, alligator life and is still not afraid to face down a guy in a golf cart head-on. If I am a golfer, the number one goal in my life should be “avoid alligators at all costs.” It’s even more important than golf.

I hope Sterling Archer isn’t watching this.

The announcer’s delivery of “that’s a real hazard right there” should win him a Golf Emmy, if those are a thing.

[h/t to Tony Blogs]

The very first show featured in our Sports On TV column was ‘Saved By The Bell,’ and with good reason. It’s one of those shows we’ve all seen whether we like it or not, and face it, you can’t spell “Internet” without ‘Saved By The Bell.’

Saved By The Bell’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments featured so many of the classics — Zack becoming an Indian to deal with track team stress, girls on the wrestling team, wheelchair basketball, Zack hitting a soon-to-be-dead-from-oil-spillage duck with a baseball — but it didn’t feature them all. It’s only fitting that the first part 2 entrant in Sports on TV history would be 15 MORE great sports moments from the show.

So, please click through to enjoy sports moments 21-35 from ‘Saved By The Bell.’ Warning: there is a lot of spooning-disguised-as-instruction gags in these entries. A LOT.

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Don’t let the title of this video fool you …

GOLF

… look to the YouTube video description for full details.

Golf Tricks Very Good

If that’s not search engine optimization, I don’t know what is. Meet Gareth Maybin, 443rd-in-the-world golf professional out of Northern Ireland, ranked a bright, shiny #1 on whatever chart determines the best trick shot videos. You know that old clip of Tiger Woods wedge-juggling that everybody went crazy for? It might as well be VHS footage of you having a birthday party at Putt-Putt when you were five.

I’m overstating it a little, but damn, Maybin’s hand-eye coordination is ridiculous. Highlights include him sinking a putt over his shoulders (seriously), hitting a falling ball that he’s just spit out of his mouth and sniping a soda can off his friend’s head. It’s ridiculous. Golf should just be this. Watch it, love it, show it to people.

[h/t to Shane at Devil Ball Golf]

Are we havin’ fun yet?

If you don’t follow golf, Australian golfer Adam Scott won The Masters after a clutch playoff putt and is now the protagonist of one of the greatest sports photos ever. If you don’t follow NBC comedy, Adam Scott (no relation) is one of the stars of the best — or, at least, the nicest — shows on television, ‘Parks and Recreation.’ You may also remember him from ‘Party Down,’ or from his run as the Fonzie of ‘Boy Meets World.’

They are not the same dude, but what the Internet presupposes is, maybe they are?

Adam Scott The Actor went on ‘Conan’ last night to clear up the confusion. Video is after the jump.

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I may or may not have a Google news alert set for “Paulina Gretzky wearing tank tops in public”, but it worked in my favor today because Wayne Gretzky’s pride and joy is currently running around Augusta National supporting her boyfriend Dustin Johnson. I have no clue where he currently stands, but if I were him I’d never be standing again.

Hit it.

Anywho, that was my strange, unrelated way of talking about the new Tumblr account that will be almost as hot as Paulina this weekend, “Waldo at the Masters”, which is photoshopped pictures of America’s favorite Hide N Seek champ hanging out in the gallery at Augusta National. There’s not much else to it, and there doesn’t have to be. I love Waldo and I love the Masters tournament, so unless someone finds a way to incorporate Taco Bell’s Volcano Tacos, I’m pretty confident that this is going to be my favorite thing of this weekend.

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Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki are in love, and they aren’t afraid to show it.

Rory McIlroy, the world number two and one of the favourites to claim the Green Jacket at Augusta this week, employed a new caddie yesterday.

During the traditional par-three competition on the eve of the Masters, McIlroy’s tennis star girlfriend Caroline Wozniacki carried his clubs around the course. (via The Independent)

I guess the only problem with showing how much they’re in love is that they’re both super f**king awkward, a trait best seen in this “how’s it goin’” puff interview shared by the fine folks at Reddit. Ricky Gervais couldn’t have written more awkward responses for them.

Here, watch it yourself:

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